Angels Have No Memories
by Verbl Kint 187
Summary: Forgetting is the first step to forgiving.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion, it is in fact owned by Gainax. Neither is there any intention to copy the works of any other writers. Any similarities in plot, situations, character dialogue, etc. found between this fic and any other fic is unintentional and purely coincidental.**

Angels Have No Memories

The soft beeping of the heart monitor echoed in the small room. The cold and unfriendly glare of the fluorescent lighting bathed the room in a pale glow. The only natural light came from the small window on the far side of the room, and even then it wasn't much, for gray clouds blanketed the sky. Towards the center of the room, a lost boy sat on a simple folding chair made of cold metal, and a broken girl lay in a dreamscape.

"Help me." A single voice whispered.

**----------**

Screams echoed throughout the halls.

"Asuka! Asuka!"

"Get him out of here!"

The heart monitor was flat lining, the dull beep a hardly noticeable sound amongst the chaos. Nurses and hospital employees crowded the room and shouted back and forth to each other, as they tried to get near the frantic girl who had backed herself up into a far corner of the room.

Shinji struggled to get closer, only to be held back by one of the employees. One of the nurses yelled for the employee to get him out, but Shinji wouldn't have it. Panic was etched on his face as he fought his way past the employee and toward his fellow pilot.

"I have the sedatives!"

"Pin her down!"

"No! No! Don't hurt her!" Shinji called out as he was caught by two burly orderlies and hauled outside of the room. As they held him against the wall of the hospital hall, he noticed patients, doctors and other employees all staring wide-eyed toward the room. He reckoned that the screaming could probably be heard throughout the whole floor.

----------

"Hey." Misato said as she stood next to Shinji in the coffee room.

"Hey." His reply sounded hollow.

Misato nodded to the large orderly standing at the entrance, and he complied, leaving her and Shinji alone. She stood behind him, enduring the painful silence that was worsened by the drone of soda machines. She went over to one and got two cans of coke. Misato opened one and handed it to Shinji who took it without thanks, and without tearing his gaze from the window. She tried to see his eyes in the glass reflection, and then she opened her can and took a sip.

"How is she?" Shinji finally asked.

"She's awake. Ritsuko has her in special care." She trailed off and began to fidget with the buttons on her jacket.

"But?"

"But we don't know if she is…" The words caught in her throat and she looked down at her feet.

"I see." Shinji said softly.

Misato looked out the window, and noticed something odd. It was snowing. The sky and the landscape were drab and gray, accentuated by the small white specks that drifted and danced so gracefully down from the sky.

"When did it start snowing?" She asked softly.

"I don't know." Shinji's response sounded hollow.

Her attention once again focused on him. She looked longingly at him. He had grown so distant since Asuka had left, and she so badly wanted him to open up. After all the time that they had spent together, she didn't know why he still didn't trust her. So she reached out to place her hand on his shoulder, to let him know that she was there.

"Don't touch me." He said without turning from the window.

----------

"Strange weather." Fuyutsuki said from behind Gendo.

"Indeed." He replied.

"What about the Second Child?"

"What about her?" Fuyutsuki said nothing further.

Gendo's eyes shifted to the orange diagram on the ceiling and there his gaze rested.

"How is Shinji?" The question caught Fuyutsuki by surprise, and for a moment he was stunned.

"Shinji?"

"Yes."

"As far as I know, he's extremely distressed at the Second's condition. He is scheduled for a visit to see her at…five this afternoon I believe."

Gendo remained silent.

A knock on the door sounded, and an aide walked in with a file. He left after handing the file to Fuyutsuki. After taking a few moments to read over the contents of the file, he spoke.

"The UN wants your report on the state of NERV. They are giving you three months to comply." He snorted. "Should be enough time."

"There's never enough time." Gendo replied before once again letting the room lapse into silence.

"Strange weather." Fuyutsuki ventured again, for he was beginning to worry. Even that much silence was unusual for Gendo. And he received no reply.

"Fuyutsuki, get Edmund Warren on the phone and tell him that I will be arriving in New York in four days. Call the UN and tell them to schedule the soonest possible meeting for my report in the US." Gendo said abruptly and stood up.

"Excuse me?" Confusion was visible on the Sub-Commander's face.

Gendo stopped and fixed a cold stare on him.

"What are you doing?" Fuyutsuki asked worriedly.

"Has Dr. Akagi been released?" He continued, ignoring the older man.

"She has, and is treating the Second Child. You still haven't told me what you're doing."

"Both of you will be in charge of the base and all operations until I return. Send Rei to me. I wish to speak with her."

----------

"Don't expect much." Ritsuko said as she opened the door for Shinji.

As he stepped into the dimly lit room, he felt his heart sink. In the farthest corner from the door, Asuka sat. Her gaze was turned up toward the ceiling light, and her eyes were empty and glazed as if they were plastic. He heard the door shut softly behind him as Ritsuko and Misato left him with her.

"We managed to get a few coherent sentences out of her. That's a good thing. But we don't know what she's liable to do once we have her off sedatives for an extended amount of time." Ritsuko explained.

"Will she be able to come home?"

"Maybe."

"Ritsu, please..."

"I guarantee nothing."

"You don't know him…"

"And from what I understand, neither do you." Misato leaned back and eyed the doctor critically. "All right, she's awake and yes, she did say something. We have a beginning. If I let her out too soon, she might do something to hurt herself again. We might lose her for good. I need to make sure that she's stable."

Shinji kneeled down next to Asuka and stared at her intently, looking for anything that would signify that she was indeed a living human being. He noticed the slow rise and fall of her chest, as her breathing seemed slightly heavy due to the sedatives.

"Asuka? Are you awake?" He asked hesitantly and watched her. After seeing nothing, he continued. "I…I'm glad that you're okay." There was no reaction. "I hope you're able to come home soon. I…I miss you Asuka. You're the only person who understands me. Misato scares me. Ayanami scares me. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if I can live with myself…not after what I've done." Shinji felt tears beginning to well up in his eyes. Hot tears of shame, grief and anger. "I know you said you wouldn't help me, but wake up Asuka. Please wake up. Help me Asuka! Please…" He cried and reached out for her.

"Don't touch me." She rasped and Shinji recoiled.

"A-Asuka?" Her head, ever so slowly, turned until her lazy gaze fell upon. Shinji felt his stomach churn and he looked into her eyes. "Asuka? Are you okay?"

----------

Gendo placed his last shirt into his suitcase. Files were scattered all across his bed, and his desk was a mess of crumpled papers. He wandered about his room for a little while glancing at various objects around the room. The clock on the wall ticked rhythmically, causing his pacing to fall in time with the seconds. He finally stopped in front of his closet. He stood, staring at the plain brown wood, tracing the designs with his eyes, until his gaze rested upon the closet doorknob. He stared at his distorted, gold reflection, parts of it blotched out by tarnish. He felt an increasing anxiety slowly beginning to overtake him. He didn't notice that his hands were slowly clenching and unclenching. Then in a second's time, he had practically torn the door open and he reached into the back corner of the closet, pulled out an old shoebox and dropped it unceremoniously on the bed.

He flipped the lid off and grabbed the only item in the shoebox. Despite his state, he held it gently by a corner. When a drop of sweat fell from his face and onto it, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a lighter. After getting a strong flame, he turned it upside down and slowly began to lower it toward the fire. As it neared the flame, the descent became slower and slower until it had stopped completely, just near the flame. He breathing was ragged and heavy, and his hands began to quiver. The lighter dropped from his hand and the flame was extinguished. He turned it right side up once again and looked at it longingly.

Then he carefully lowered it back into the box, covered it, and he carefully placed the box back into the closet.

----------

Shinji spat into the toilet, trying to rid the foul taste of bile from his mouth. When he had looked into her eyes, a sudden feeling of wretchedness filled his being. He realized then, that that was what a person looked like when their soul died, leaving its body behind.

"Shinji?" He heard Misato call into the restroom. "Are you okay?"

When Asuka had returned her gaze to the ceiling, nausea overwhelmed him and he had rushed out of the room as quickly as he could. The cold, dead look had burned itself into his mind. If only she knew that she had morphed into the lifeless doll that she had been so afraid of becoming. How awful it was to become the one thing that you hated the most without knowing. Lost to him was the Asuka who had a flourish to every step, with every movement that she made, with every breath that she took. Lost to him was the Asuka whom he had admired and cherished.

"Shinji? Are you okay? Shinji?" Misato's voice sounded nearer.

"Yeah." He managed. His voice sounded ragged, and his breath was coming in uneven heaves. He began to taste bile again and he retched into the toilet. He kneeled in front of the toilet for a moment longer to make sure the remaining traces of nausea left him, and he flushed. After wiping his mouth, he opened the stall door to find Misato standing right in front of it, an expression of worry visible upon her face.

"Are you okay?" She asked as she cupped his chin in her hand.

"Fine." He said softly, without meeting her gaze.

"Are you sure?" She said and gently caressed his cheek. He pulled away and stepped back a pace into the stall.

"Yeah." Misato's hand remained frozen in the position that it had been in when she had touched his face. Shinji didn't look up, so he didn't see the tears in her eyes.

"Do…you want a ride home? I'll be off in about ten…"

"I'll walk." He said and brushed past her. The restroom door opened and shut with a squeak and soft bang, leaving Misato alone.

----------

A single light in a small room. It was generated by a low watt light bulb that dangled from a foot long electrical chord from the ceiling. It was at that light, which Asuka was staring. She began to feel the sedatives slowly beginning to wear off, and she was vaguely aware that someone had paid her a visit earlier. It didn't matter who it was though. As far as she was concerned, she was useless, so why would anyone of value want to see her? She was useless, without a purpose, without worth and without direction. Her life had been Eva, and then in a few short hours, everything had been stripped from her. So she didn't care anymore. It didn't matter to her if she lived or died.

Asuka didn't know when her coma started, but she remembered the exact moment that it ended. From the beginning, it had felt like she had been living her life in reverse. From the Sixteenth down to the Sixth, from her arrival in Tokyo-3 to the arrival of Shinji on the carrier, from the carrier at sea to the port in Germany, to the training facility in Berlin, to the University of Leipzig, to the honors ceremonies, to the hospital, to…

Kyoko Zeppelin Sohryuu's feet turned from north to west and from west to east. Two bodies swung back and forth, generating a sick, creaking noise. One wore a plain white hospital gown, her once lavishly rich hair color faded, and her skin once full of life paled. The other had red yarn as hair, plastic beads as eyes, a thin black thread for a crooked smile, and a bright yellow sundress for clothes.

"Mama…" She said softly and slowly reached toward the light. The light bulb swung back and forth, from east to west and from west to north.

----------

_'One…two…three…four…'_ Kensuke counted the students in the class, a total of nine including himself. People were slowly trickling back into the city as NERV now deemed it safe to once again live in. They had announced on National TV that all of the Angels had been destroyed, and Kensuke had remembered thinking how odd it sounded…man triumphing over God. But what he wanted to know was why NERV was still active.

The teacher's droning on mathematical equations was background noise as Kensuke stared turned to stare out the window. It had begun to snow a few days before. The weather casters didn't know what to make of it, though with all the bullshit that they spouted on TV, they acted like they knew exactly what was going on.

Kensuke remembered the exact moment that it had begun snowing. It had been at 8:27 in the morning and he had been in front of his desktop computer surfing his forums. He had remembered seeing snow on TV once, and he knew that at one time it had snowed in Japan, but ever since Second Impact, it had practically been an eternal summer. It seemed to him though that very few people were enjoying the new season. Most were actually kind of irritated that they needed to buy new clothes for what seemed to be a full-fledged winter. He knew that he was enjoying it though. If for no other reason than it offered some new battle terrain for his war games.

The bell that signaled the end of school finally sounded, and the students got up from their chairs with a groan. Kensuke pulled on a black jacket that he had bought at the mall and an old soviet soldier's winter hat that he had found at a pawnshop. As he was leaving the classroom, he heard someone call his name.

"Kensuke!" He turned and saw the class representative hurrying to catch up. She donned a yellow jacket and a yellow scarf, and under one of her arms were two large manila envelopes. As she ran to catch up, they slipped from her grasp and fell onto the floor. "Darn." She said softly as she blushed and bent to pick them up.

"I'll get those." Kensuke said and put the envelopes in his bag, seeing first that one had 'Ikari, Shinji' written on the front, while the other had 'Ayanami, Rei' written on the front. "So?" He asked once he shouldered his bag.

"Those have the missing assignments for Ikari and Ayanami." Hikari began. "I went down to Ayanami's place several times already, but she's never home. And I was going to go down to Ikari's place today to ask if he could give them to her, since he sees her at NERV and everything."

"And since I know Shinji better than you, you want me to come along?"

"If it wouldn't be too much trouble."

"No. No, I need to see Shinji anyway. It's been a while since I've talked with him."

"I wonder where he could be. I know that Ayanami isn't usually around, but now I'm not seeing much of Shinji either."

"Yeah, I know. Don't worry, I'll give these to him. If I don't see him, I'll give them to Misato, and she'll make sure that they get it."

"You still have a thing for her, don't you?" Hikari asked and laughed playfully.

"What? N-no. No! Not even!" Kensuke objected.

"Oh sure." She giggled. "Don't try to tell me that you don't drool over the thought of seeing her open the door in nothing but a towel."

"Hey! That's not fair! That never once crossed my mind!" He shot back indignantly.

"I'm just kidding. I'm going with you anyway. I want to talk to Ikari too. I wanted to check to see how Asuka is doing."

Kensuke waited for her to finish.

"And, I wanted to see if he knew anything about Toji." She blushed slightly. Kensuke nodded in satisfaction and continued the walk in silence.

----------

Fuyutsuki shifted uncomfortably in the Commander's chair. The desk which on any other occasion would be clean and clear of mess was cluttered with envelopes, files and documents pertaining to the status of NERV. Security reports, cancelled appointments, vacation requests…Fuyutsuki sighed and picked up the phone. He dialed Gendo's number and listened to it ring. His fingers began to drum on the desktop as it continued to ring. After listening to the incessant ringing for several minutes, he cursed softly and dropped the phone back onto the receiver and ran his hands through his hair. Then the phone began to ring. He stared at the phone for a little while with a look of exasperation. He picked it up in the middle of the third ring.

"What do you want? I'm preparing for my flight." Gendo asked curtly before Fuyutsuki could say hello.

"Tell me what you're doing."

"I think you already know."

"What am I supposed to do?" Fuyutsuki yelled into the phone in rare display of temper and frustration. "You leave without an explanation of why, leaving me and Ritsuko, who I'm not even sure is all there, in charge of running the operation. The Council is furious and they're demanding an explanation, employees are growing restless, I don't even know what plan is in effect anymore. What the hell am I supposed to do?" He paused and listened. Nothing. "Son of a bitch." Fuyutsuki swore and was about to hang up when Gendo finally spoke.

"What you need to do."

"What?"

"Do what you need to do." Fuyutsuki heard a click on the other end of the line.

----------

"Maybe he isn't home?" Hikari said after Kensuke had knocked for the third time.

"Maybe." He said with a sigh. As they were about to turn and leave, they heard the click of the lock and the door opened.

At first, the two wondered if it was indeed a living person that was standing in front of them. His sickly pale skin almost matched Ayanami's except it looked even unhealthier. His eyes had black shadows and his skin seemed to hang off his ghastly frame.

"Oh…hey. Would you like to come in?" He spoke in a monotone.

"Um…sure. Thank you." Hikari said as she cast a worried look at Kensuke.

Shinji stepped aside so that they could enter, then he shut the door softly behind them.

"Would you like some tea?" He asked as he shuffled into the kitchen.

"Yes please. Tea would be great. It's so cold outside." Hikari tried to sound cheery.

"Asuka isn't home. Neither is Misato." He informed as they sat down on the couch.

Hikari noticed that apartment was disturbingly spotless, almost as if no one lived there at all. She noticed Kensuke nervously rummaging through his bag for the envelopes. Shinji prepared everything for tea without another word, and she found that the room was thick with an awkward silence.

"What brings you here?" Shinji asked as he pulled up a chair to sit on.

"Oh, um…here's the work you and Ayanami have missed." Kensuke said quickly and passed the envelopes to Shinji, who stared blankly at them.

"Where's Asuka's?"

"She was dropped from the school after she stopped showing up for a few weeks. Besides, I don't think she'd miss much anyway. She graduated after all." Hikari laughed lamely at her own attempt to sound lighthearted.

"Ah." Shinji's hand ran over Rei's name and the two on the couch noticed him silently mouth her name. "Why are you giving me Ayanami's?"

"Well, I was wondering if you could give it to her for me."

"Can't you give it to her?" Shinji asked almost pleadingly.

"I tried. I went to her place several times, but she wasn't home. I would have left it in her mailbox, but it's full of stuff. I don't think she checks her mail at all."

"She has no reason to." He replied absently.

"You'll make sure she gets it?"

"I…I'll make sure that she gets it." He finally agreed after a period of silence that was broken by the whistling of the teapot. As he got up to get the tea, Kensuke stood up and walked over to the balcony door.

Kensuke looked outside without seeing the snow fall. His brow furrowed, he seemed to be concentrating on something that was too difficult to grasp, as if trying to make out a figure against the setting sun. He cast a frustrated look back at Shinji who was silently getting the tea ready. Then a smile slowly made its way onto Kensuke's face.

"Tea." Shinji said blandly and placed a tray with two cups of tea on the table.

"Thank you." Hikari said as she took her cup of tea.

"Thanks."

"Mm…good." She said and lifted her cup to emphasize her compliment. She saw Shinji nod weakly in affirmation and cast an empty gaze upon the floor.

"So…how's Asuka?" Hikari ventured.

"She's sick." Shinji said simply.

"Oh…she's getting better I hope?"

"I don't know."

"Where is she?"

"In the hospital."

"Oh! How sick is she?"

"Sick." He replied desolately.

"When did you last visit her?"

"A few days ago."

"When did she go in?"

"A month, maybe two months ago."

"What kind of sickness is it?"

"Can we talk about something else?" He snapped before returning his gaze to the floor. Hikari had gasped and looked worriedly at Kensuke. "I'm sorry. I'm not feeling well, and it would probably be best if you left right now. I'll make sure that Ayanami gets her assignments."

"All right Shinji. But if you ever need to talk to anyone, you just come to me okay?" Hikari offered and set her cup back down on the tray.

Kensuke mouthed 'Toji' as he placed his cup back on the tray as well. Hikari mouthed 'no' in response. After a few angry pantomimes between the two, Kensuke finally threw up his hands in exasperation and stood up.

"Hey Shinji, one last thing. Hikari was wondering if you could take her to see Toji sometime." Shinji's head whipped up.

"Wha…what?"

"Kensuke, shh! No, it's all right Shinji. You don't have to."

"Cause she's awfully worried about him, and she can't get by NERV security. I know you can, and can probably get her in. It would probably mean a lot to Toji as well you know." They both looked anxiously at Shinji, whose dark blue pools seemed to teem with a mixture of emotions.

"I…I…well…I…I guess so…I could…maybe…Sunday?" He tried for an answer.

"That'd be great, thanks Shinji."

"Yes, um…thank you very much Shinji. Thank you." Hikari repeated nervously as she gathered her things.

Shinji walked them to the door and they said their farewells.

"What the heck was that?" Hikari asked angrily as she punched Kensuke on the arm.

"What? I got you a visit to see Toji! What are you pissed about?"

"You can see that he doesn't need that right now!"

"No, it's exactly what he needs. He needs a kick-start, and that's exactly what Toji's gonna give him." Kensuke said hotly as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"I can walk myself home, thanks." Hikari said and left with a huff.

"You're welcome!" He called after her.

----------

The gentle hum of the engines lingered in the main cabin. Gendo stared out the window at the ocean below. A folder containing the information of Project-E lay open in the seat next to him. He had been shuffling through the papers when had seen some clouds pass below him. The clouds had been pure white with a sort of rolling texture to it. It was almost like a landscape of its own, each hill and dune covered with a thick blanket of snow. It had taken his mind back to the snow in Tokyo-3.

He had first seen the snow as he had arrived at NERV base. It had been drifting down in gentle flakes, seeming to disappear once it hit the ground. The weather had been unusually cold, but he had never expected to see snow. In curiosity, his eyes roamed to the sky. As soon as his eyes met the clouds, he was no longer in Tokyo-3.

"How did the meeting go?" Yui asked with a smile as he sat down across from her.

"They were disappointed that you couldn't be there. They had been hoping to meet the genius scientist in charge of the revolutionary Project-E." He replied and leaned forward for a brief kiss.

"Well, I had more pressing matters." She said warmly.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Shinji ran towards him with his arms outstretched. Gendo chuckled, and lifted the laughing child onto his knee.

"And what have you been up to?" He asked.

"Playing." Shinji replied with a bright smile.

"Oh really?"

"Snow is fun." Shinji said while nodding vigorously. Then his face screwed up, as if he were trying to remember something important. It wasn't long at all before his face lit up again. "Mommy teached me to make snow angels!"

"Really? Can you show me?" Gendo asked.

"Yeah!" Shinji said brightly before running into the park a little ways. "Watch me!" He called back before flopping down onto his back.

"And you said that you wouldn't make a good father." Yui said.

Gendo smiled and looked out across the park, and saw families of all sizes played in the snow and sat at picnic tables, drinking hot chocolate and coffee. He recalled the crunching of snow beneath his feet as he made his way to the park after the meeting.

"I'm so glad that we took Shinji with us." Yui began wistfully. "I remember playing in the snow when I was a little girl. All the snow ball fights that I had with my sisters."

"I remember hosing all the salt off the sidewalks and watching the bikers skid and fall on their way to school."

"You're awful."

"Oh am I?" Yui shook her head and looked up.

"It's so beautiful. That's why I wanted Shinji to come with us. We don't get snow like this back home anymore." There was a pause in conversation as Yui lapsed into a mild state of daydreaming.

Gendo stared longingly at her. She was so beautiful, and yet it was only one aspect of her that made her so perfect. She was also intelligent, good-natured, witty and fun. He never considered himself an emotional man, but she stirred something inside of him that he couldn't place. To be able to hold her close forever, he would do anything.

"So how's Kyoko?" Yui finally asked as she brought herself out of her daze.

"She's as well as she can be."

"How so?"

"She's excited because she's found a way to improve on Unit-02 whereas Unit-00 and Unit-01 are already completed and ready for testing. She insists on it being the most versatile model anyone will ever find. She was pissed because you weren't there. I think she wanted to show off."

"That insufferable woman." Yui said and laughed. "So competitive."

"She's your friend, not mine."

"That all?"

"Well, she was also happy that we brought Shinji along. She insisted that we stay for Christmas at her place, and she thinks that it would be great if Shinji and Asuka met."

"Oh yes, Asuka. Did she say how her little girl was doing?"

"Breezing through elementary school. She's really something else."

"She takes after her mother I bet. Intelligence, temper, arrogance and beauty all in one."

"Oh, but she's not as beautiful as you." Gendo said with a smile.

"Daddy! I made three of them! Come and look!" Shinji called out.

"Sir?" Gendo turned and saw the flight stewardess standing next to him with a phone. "A call for you?"

"Who is it?" Gendo asked coldly.

"Fuyutsuki?" She replied and Gendo took the phone.

"Yes?"

"General Warren is pleased that you will be paying his branch a visit. An escort will be waiting for you at the airport." Fuyutsuki's voice sounded over the phone.

"And the UN?"

"The soonest possible day is in about a month. On December thirteenth."

"Very well, thank you."

Gendo placed the phone on the open files, and turned back to the window.

----------

The snow was really quite beautiful. She thought that it looked like cotton on the windowsill. She smiled happily, not because she would finally be able to open up her gifts, though it certainly was a part of it. She smiled happily, not because the maid was going to make those chocolate chip cookies that she loved so much. She smiled happily, not because she would be going out later to make a snowman with her father. She smiled happily, because her mother would be home for Christmas. Her mother had promised her that she would be home for Christmas, and her mother always kept her promises.

She knew that she should be in bed, but she had been so anxious that she had gone down to the living room window to watch the snow fall, and to be there when her mother came home. The clock chimed five and the snow continued to fall. Then she had an idea. Wouldn't her mother like to see how pretty the Christmas tree was when she came home? So she jumped down and ran over to the Christmas tree, reached behind it to find the plug, then plugged it into the wall socket. The lights flickered momentarily before finally flashing on in patterns and intervals. Everything danced before her eyes and she giggled happily.

"Asuka?" A familiar voice said from across the room.

"Mama?"

"Asuka? Are you feeling okay?" Ritsuko asked her with a concerned expression on her face.

"Huh? Where's mama?" Asuka asked in confused tone as she edged off the windowsill that she had been sitting on.

"Asuka, you're in Tokyo-3, in a hospital. I'm Doctor Ritsuko Akagi, and this is Lieutenant Maya Ibuki. We're treating you here. We're here to see if you're migraines are getting better." She explained very slowly, as if talking to someone a little slow on the uptake.

"I knew that, I'm not fuckin' retarded." Asuka said haughtily before turning back to the window, a blush barely visible upon her face.

"Sorry." Ritsuko said, trying to contain her irritation at the girl's behavior. "So how are your migraines?"

"They're gone." Asuka said without turning to face her.

"Well, that's good. How do you think you're doing in general?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"It should be a simple one, but if you'd like me break it down further, I'd be happy to." Ritsuko answered irately.

"Pff. That's no kind of question. How do you think I'm doing?" She asked sarcastically as she turned away from the window and strutted cockily up to the blonde doctor and her assistant. "You're the experts. You tell me."

"We can only assess your health to certain point." Ritsuko said between clenched teeth.

"Doctor." Maya warned her with some anxiety evident in her voice.

"Real bang up job you've been doing so far. The pills you've been giving me takes away my migraines but it also makes me hallucinate. I'm a million bucks. Now will you let me go home?" Asuka asked, as she stood with her arms akimbo.

"Now let's be reasonable Asuka…"

----------

"Little fucking bitch, I'm gonna strangle her." Ritsuko said as she dropped her clipboard on her desk.

"Doctor Akagi, I'm sure you don't…" Maya said compulsively as she followed close behind her mentor.

"Brat is just like her mother! Thinks she knows everything, and it's always her way! She wants out of here so badly, she should just go." She collapsed into her chair and began to massage her sinuses. "I'm sorry Maya. It's just that, with the Commander on his trip, the synch tests that we're going to have to conduct, and all of that work that I missed while I was holed up in that cell."

"Sounds like you need a drink." Misato said from the doorway to Ritsuko's office, a tired and beaten look to her.

"Not tonight Misato. I have work…"

"Maybe you should. I mean, I can take care of the report on Asuka and we'll start on everything else first thing in the morning." Maya spoke timidly.

"You'd do that for me?"

"Of course." Maya said and nodded eagerly, a blush and a small smile on her face.

"Well…" Ritsuko still considered

"You heard her Ritsu, let's go. I bet they didn't serve you any good beer in that cell." She said half jokingly and led her friend out of the office, giving Maya a 'V' sign before disappearing down the hall.

Maya sighed half contentedly and half despondently as she gazed about her mentor's office, once again cluttered with cat statuettes and half-filled coffee cups. After taking a bit of time to sort through the papers and place them in their proper files, she stacked the files and cleaned up all the coffee cups. Once done, she grabbed the medical report on Asuka and headed to her office to grab her purse.

"Maya! What are you doing here so late?"

----------

"It's great isn't it? I don't remember ever seeing snow." Makoto said as he sipped at his tea. The three bridge bunnies sat at a small ramen stand, making friendly conversation over a cheap dinner.

"But it's so cold…" Maya complained as she hugged herself and rubbed her arms with her hands.

"Here, wear my jacket. I like the brisk chill." Shigeru offered his brown leather jacket to her before turning back to watching the snow fall, gently plunking on his acoustic. "I just got this in the mail from my father. A holiday gift, and brand new. It's very good, but it doesn't quite have the right sound to it yet. I have to break it in." And he strummed a few chords.

"Christmas is a much bigger thing in the west, or so I hear." Makoto continued. "But I've stumbled upon a CD of their Christmas songs, and I think I like the feeling that they have."

"What do you mean?" Maya asked curiously.

"You have to hear it to be able to tell, but it's a nice warm feeling. Tokyo-3 could stand to hear some of that music. I can make a copy of the CD for you if you like?" He offered.

"Could you?"

"Make a copy for me too. Something for me to practice with." Shigeru chimed in as he ventured to play a few short tunes.

"You know what we should do after this? We should go down to the mall and look at the decorations that they're putting up. I think they're even going to have a Christmas Tree lighting." Makoto suggested brightly.

"A Christmas Tree lighting?" Maya inquired.

"Yeah, where they put up a giant Christmas tree, I think its going to be in the center of the mall this year, and they decorate it and string it up with multi-colored lights and decorations. Then they have seasonal ceremony before turning that thing on. It's spectacular!" He explained enthusiastically. "Come on, let's go. It'll be worth it."

"Well, I have to write up a report for Dr. Akagi." Maya began nervously.

"You can do the report later. If you've never seen one before, you have to see this."

"Well, I guess so…but only for a little while." She conceded nervously.

"Great, you coming with us Shigeru?"

"Count me out. I plan on relaxing then getting some decent sleep tonight." He replied as he paid his bill.

"You sure?"

"Absolutely."

"Oh wait, your jacket." Maya said and began to take it off.

"No, you can use it for tonight. I'll get it from you at work tomorrow." He said with a wave of his hand before picking up his guitar case. "Catch you later."

"Well, I guess it's just you and me then." Makoto said with a shrug and a smile.

----------

"Asuka giving you trouble?" Misato asked as she raised the bottled beer to her lips.

"No more than usual." Ritsuko admitted with a sigh. "But her attitude isn't helping. I'm having a rough time. Emotionally."

"Aren't we all?" Silence settled over the two.

The bar was seeing less activity than usual, and the two had picked a table toward the front of the bar where they could look out the window upon the open-air mall across the street. The lighting was rather dim, and above the chatter of the other bar goers was the sound of the TV. It wasn't long before the weather report was on, and the first thing to be mentioned was the light snowing that never seemed to let up for more than a few hours at a time.

"I thought the weather in Japan wasn't supposed to get this cold." Misato finally said with a shiver.

"It's not." Ritsuko responded. "But on a completely different and more important note, how's Shinji doing?"

Misato laughed darkly at first.

"Gee, y'know, I was kinda wondering that myself. He never speaks to me, and whenever I come home, he locks himself in his room." She sighed and took another pull of her beer. "And he's been that way since he went to see Asuka."

"I told you that it'd be a better idea to wait until she was out." Ritsuko said and tsk'd.

"I don't know why, but on some twisted and possibly masochistic level, Shinji enjoys being around the old Asuka."

"Vicariously enjoying the life of another. He needs her to feel alive, since he can't live on his own."

"It's unhealthy."

"Yes, it is. But that's something that he's going to have to overcome on his own. He needs to realize that he doesn't need her to live."

"You just said what was on my mind, but coming from you it seemed so heartless."

"One of my many gifts." The two shared a brief laugh.

"But, I mean, if you think about it, isn't it kind of romantic to need someone that much?"

"Sure it's romantic, but not realistic."

"Who says? That's the way I felt about Kaji at one time."

"But it never worked out, did it?" Misato lapsed into silence. "Sorry." Ritsuko apologized with a blush.

"You know, when he came back with Asuka, I couldn't stand the sight of him. Everything about him irritated me. I guess…I had changed…and he didn't change at all. He was the same man. All I could think about were the reasons why we broke up." Misato sniffed softly.

"If it makes you feel any better, Asuka should be back home in no time. She's becoming too much of a pain in the ass for me anyway." Ritsuko said with a smile.

"Thanks."

"Although I think, that if you believe that they need each other the way you and Kaji did, you better put a pretty big investment on some birth control."

"Har dee fucking har." Misato laughed sarcastically.

The two watched the snow falling ever so lightly, lining the street curbs with a cotton scarf, miles long. Couples walked the streets in sweaters and jackets, either holding each other tightly or carrying oversized shopping bags. A tear slowly rolled down Misato's face and she quickly wiped it away.

"Hey Ritsu?"

"Hmm?"

"What was it like?"

"I…don't think I'm going to answer that." Misato nodded and swirled the remaining contents of the beer at the bottom of her bottle, and then she tilted her head back and downed it.

"I'm going to order a pitcher." She said and got up.

"I thought you were going to quit drinking?"

"Yeah, well tonight's an exception. Our first drink since you were let out."

"Oh no, don't you go and blame this on me." Misato laughed as she headed to the bar.

----------

Shinji stared at the undisturbed surface of the water. He sat on a boulder that jutted out over the lake that he found himself frequenting since Asuka ran off. It was also the place where he had met Kaworu, his best friend and his worst enemy. A tear rolled down his pale cheek and hit the surface of the water, sending ripples across the expanse. Small patches of ice floated on the surface, due to the dropping temperature in the weather.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture, noticeably wrinkled and creased. He unfolded it slowly and looked at the three people in the photo. His fingers traced over Misato and Asuka as he smiled sadly. The smile disappeared and it was replaced by a look of want and longing. He sobbed and tried to choke more back down, wiping his eyes and looking around ashamedly, as if he were afraid that someone might see him cry. After he got himself back under some control, he took another look at the picture and felt the sobs begin to work their way back up his throat. He quickly folded the picture back up and slipped it in his shirt pocket.

Shinji's fingers gently caressed cold metal. It was the cold metal of the handcuffs that he had taken from Misato's room. He sighed sadly and stared longingly into the dark water of the lake. The abyss seemed so cold and yet so comforting. He stood up and stepped up to the edge of the boulder, clasping the handcuffs in his right hand. He looked up into the sky, and his vision blurred for a moment. A sob escaped his throat and he looked back down at the water. More ripples glided slowly across the surface.

"Ikari?" A soft voice spoke from behind him.

Shinji whipped around with a cry of surprise, almost losing balance. However, in the process of steadying himself, he lost a hold of the handcuffs and they fell into the water with a deafening splash, and he took the time to look over his shoulder as they disappeared into the dark blue.

"R-R-R-Rei?" Shinji stammered as he felt his heart racing. "Wha-what are you doing here?"

"I was informed by Class Representative Horaki that you have my assignments?" Shinji pulled a confused look before a look of realization came over him.

"Oh…that. Yeah, I have that."

"May I have them?"

"Well, I don't have them on me right now. I-I-I sorta have them back at the apartment."

"I see. Well, may I accompany you back to your apartment? I would like to get my assignments and finish them in a timely manner."

"Um…sure. Well, I was sort of…" Shinji trailed off as he looked back toward the lake.

"Is something the matter Ikari?"

"N-n-nothing." He replied and turned his gaze to the ground. "Well, I guess we should head back before it gets dark."

"Very well." And the two set off back toward the city.

----------

"Commander Ikari?" A young man in a navy blue suit and maroon tie extended his hand as he walked down the runway to meet Gendo.

"Yes." He replied and shook his hand. He sized him up, looking at his sandy blonde hair greased straight back, an overly subservient demeanor, and a smile that never seemed to fade. He at once decided that he didn't like that young man.

"I'm John Vargas. General Warren sends his regards. For the duration of your stay, I'll be your aide." Gendo only nodded as he stepped into the backseat of the black Mercedes-Benz. "Whoo! It's chilly outside." Vargas exclaimed as he got into the passenger's seat. "You got here just in time for the bad weather."

"That is subjective."

"Of course sir." Vargas replied with a faux smile. "Oh, that's right, you don't have snow in Japan anymore. Do you?"

"No." Gendo replied.

----------

"Everything is so pretty." Maya said in awe as she looked into the shop windows at all the holiday ads and lights. "I've never seen Tokyo-3 this lively before."

And indeed, the open-air mall was bustling with shoppers that had finished their suppers at the local restaurants and were taking time to pick up some last minute shopping gifts before the Christmas Tree lighting.

"Told you it would be worth it. And you haven't even seen the best part of it." Makoto said as he radiated the holiday spirit that seemed to infect the area.

Maya ventured to the fronts of the shops, browsing through the windows. There was something oddly heart warming about the entire thing. Then something caught her eye. It was a set of ceramic cat figurines modeled in various positions of cat activities.

"Maya, they're going to start." Makoto said as he placed his hand on her shoulder, turning her to face the towering tree.

----------

The two laughed rather uproariously, faces reddened by alcohol. As their laughter died down, Ritsuko slid her hand across the table to caress Misato's. Ritsuko noticed Misato's smile falter as she glanced down the connection.

"Sorry." Ritsuko apologized and withdrew her hand quickly, her face reddening further.

"Think nothing of it." Misato replied awkwardly as her face darkened as well.

"Looks like they're going to light the tree." Ritsuko spoke and looked out the window, trying to redirect the attention.

"Hmm…when is Asuka getting out?" Misato asked after staring at the tree for a few moments.

"I don't know. I said that I'd let her out as soon as she stabilizes. Not a moment sooner, though. Why?" Ritsuko responded curiously.

"I have an idea to make her feel a little better." Ritsuko eyed her curiously for a few more moments before turning to watch the lighting.

----------

The two looked like a pair of ghosts as they drifted by the shops. The bright colors meant nothing to them, each concerned only with their own thoughts. One of them came to a halt at a café near the mall, and looked inside curiously.

"Ikari." Rei spoke in tone just loud enough for Shinji to hear.

"Huh?" He stopped and turned as if in a daze.

"I would like a cup of tea from here. Would you buy me a cup of tea please?"

"Um…sure." Shinji replied and followed her in.

Shinji scanned the café after giving their orders for tea, and found Rei had chosen a table near a window. She stared intently out the window at the crowd that seemed to be gathering in the courtyard. For a while, Shinji stood nervously by the table, glancing at the front door and looking very uncertain as to what he should be doing. Eventually Rei turned toward him and looked him up and down.

"Will you not sit?" She asked inquisitively. Shinji blushed and sat across from her.

When she turned to look back out the window, he began to fidget. His left leg began to act up without his knowledge and it almost seemed like he was searching for something in the surface of the table. Every so often he would alternate between glancing at Rei, out the window or toward the door.

"So…um…what's happening out there?" He finally worked up the nerve to ask.

"The Christmas tree. They're going to light it." She responded without turning away.

"Thank you." Shinji offered a nervous smile at the girl who had brought their tea and taken their number from the table. He glanced awkwardly at Rei once more, who didn't seem to notice that the tea had gotten there at all. Then he resigned himself to the idea that he would have to endure the rest of the time in silent agony.

"You seem agitated." Rei finally said, and Shinji looked from his tea in surprise.

"Oh…um…we-well, you see…um…" He began, feeling a little flustered and unsure of how to respond.

"Why are you agitated?" She continued as she took a sip from her tea.

"Um…er…we-well…" Shinji stammered and tried to calm himself down with a deep breath. "We-Well, um…you know…"

"No, I don't."

"I-I'm just kinda uncomfortable around crowds."

"So am I." She said and tilted her head to one side. "But we aren't in a crowd." Shinji turned bright red. "Do I make you uncomfortable?"

"N-No! I-It's just that…um…" Shinji began to unconsciously scratch the back of head. Rei only continued to stare, her head tilted curiously. "We-Well, how did you know where to find me?"

"I didn't know." Rei answered.

"What? Then, what were you doing out by there?" He asked incredulously.

"I don't know." Rei sipped at her tea. "I didn't have any tests scheduled. Now that the Commander is away, I decided to go for a walk."

"Oh…um…that's interesting." He was feeling a little perplexed. He eventually turned his gaze back to his tea and Rei again began to study him intently.

"I make you uncomfortable." She stated, almost sadly.

"N-No! No! You don't!" Shinji began to protest.

"I do. You are uncomfortable when I am around."

"I-I mean it's not just you! It-It's everything."

"What do you mean Ikari?"

"I-I-I mean that…it's not just you. It's everyone and everything." He said dejectedly and sank into his seat, staring at his cup.

"You don't sound certain."

"Well…"

"You sound lost."

"I-I guess that in a way, I am."

"Why do you feel that way?"

"I…you…you wouldn't understand."

"How would you know that?" He refused to make eye contact.

"I don't."

"Then why don't you tell me, and then find out if I understand or not?"

"I don't know you well enough Rei." She paused and stared intently at him.

"I believe you know me very well."

"I-I'm just not comfortable."

"You were comfortable with the previous me." Shinji slowly looked up at her. "I am not a different person, Ikari. I am still me."

"Wha-What?"

"I am the same Rei that you met in front of Unit-01, in fact, I am almost exactly as I was back then."

"B-But, you're not the same…you…you're a replacement." He said as his eyes began to water.

"Just because I can't remember all the transpired between us, doesn't mean I am different person. I am the same, but without the memories. As I said, I am almost exactly like I was when we first met. If you feel like you still don't know me, then all you need to do is go through the process of knowing me again." Tears mixed with green tea. "I am trying to know you again."

"Are…are you really…Rei?" He asked in a slightly cracked voice. She reached forward and took his hand, drawing a hopeful look from his deep eyes.

"I am." Shinji held on tightly, touched his forehead to her hand and began to cry.

Rei felt her cheeks begin to warm slightly, and she heard a cheer erupt from outside. She turned briefly to see the tree light up the center of the mall in a brilliant display of ornaments and lighting. John Lennon's "Happy Christmas" flowed from the loudspeakers and for a brief moment, she felt joy.

----------

Gendo's suitcase sat upon the bed, unopened. His eyes were transfixed on the city before him, everything wrapped in a clean white sheet. People moved about their own business on the streets below, and the snow drifted, each flake becoming smaller with the growing distance until they melded completely into the scene. Then the phone began to ring.

"What is it?"

"Commander Gendo Ikari?"

"What is it?"

"A mister Kozo Fuyutsuki is calling for you. Shall I patch him through?"

"Yes." There was a brief pause, a click, and then a familiar voice spoke.

"The Council wants to know why the UN brass is convening."

"Tell them the truth."

"I don't think they would approve." Gendo didn't respond. "I say this as an old friend and mentor: I want you to think this through."

"The Old Men have no control over me." And he hung up without another word.

----------

Misato's head was buried in her arms as she snored lightly at her office desk. The computer screen was a black command screen with 'PASSWORD' blinking in the top left corner. The small garbage bin was tipped over on the floor, spilling the contents of empty iced coffee cans and papers. The file cabinets were in an awful mess of folders, papers and documents. Some of the cabinet drawers were half-opened, and others were nearly closed being held open only by papers that had been half stuffed into their proper places.

After taking in the entire spectacle before her, Ritsuko sighed in exasperation and made her way through the war zone toward the sleeping figure.

"Hey, you." She said and prodded Misato with her pen. She received a few incoherent grunts in response and a slight shifting of mass. "Get up you. I know you were here all night doing God knows what, but there's something you have to know."

"G'way. Later." Misato groaned and flailed an arm in Ritsuko's general direction.

"Now." She demanded. After a long groan some creaking of joints and muscles, Misato sat semi-erect in her seat, rubbing the crust out of her eyes.

"What's so damn important that it can't wait a few hours?" She complained.

"For one, all I've got to do is run a few more exams on Asuka and she'll be fit to go. Sometime tomorrow would be a good bet." Misato became a little more animated at the mentioning of the release.

"Oh? That's great. So our Asuka is back."

"I didn't say that. She's recovered enough so that she can go through the process of living an everyday life, with of course a few minor check-ins with me every now and then."

"That's a start…I guess." Misato turned off her computer and stood up letting out grunt as she stretched.

"And now for the bad news." Ritsuko continued as they left the messy office for the coffee room.

"Oh no." The reply was semi-sarcastic given the Major's mood.

"Damn right 'oh no'. Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki has ordered a synchronization test for all the pilots in a few days time."

"Good morning Major Katsuragi." Makoto exclaimed with smile as they entered.

"Mornin'. Well, I'll handle Shinji. But I don't think Rei should be too much of a problem." Misato poured quite a bit of coffee into a generic mug.

"I don't think you heard me correctly. All pilots."

Misato groaned.

"The Sub-Commander ordered it."

"He can't be fucking serious."

"Well he is very fucking serious. I already tried reasoning with him, but he's firm on his decision."

"Yeah, well now I'm gonna do some reasoning."

"Misato, you're just going to be wasting your time. Your efforts would best be put elsewhere." Their chatter faded as they quickly walked toward the Commander's office.

Makoto stood still, mindlessly stirring the coffee in his Styrofoam cup as he briefly reflected on what had transpired.

----------

"Hey Maya, is Asuka really being released soon?" Makoto asked his coworker as he returned to his station.

"Yep."

"How did she look?" Maya turned and looked at him questioningly.

"Okay. A little tired maybe, why?"

"Did you know that the Sub-Commander ordered a synchronization test for her, Shinji and Rei?"

"What? When?" Shigeru immediately put down his magazine and turned towards them.

"I don't know. I heard a few days." Makoto said leaning forward and speaking softly in a confidential manner.

"No…no…that can't be right." Maya said with an extremely worried expression on her face as she began to flip through some of her papers. "Dr. Akagi didn't mention anything like that to me."

"No…" Shigeru groaned and buried his face in his hands. "It better not be on Tuesday. I have lunch date with this chick from Club Rose. I was going to take a half-day off."

"Well I heard Maj. Katsuragi and Dr. Akagi talking about it a little while ago."

"That can't be. It says right here on her report that Asuka should have ample time to recover before being made available for any type of tests involving Eva. If she has to do a synchronization test, of all things, it could cause serious psychological damage…" Maya stated as she scanned the written report made earlier.

"No, no, no." Makoto interrupted with a wave of his hands. "Both of you are looking at this the wrong way. Now listen," He took a deep breath. "Why would we even need to conduct a synchronization test in the first place? Didn't we just destroy the last angel? And where did the Commander go on such short notice? Doesn't that seem a little strange?" The three bridge technicians sat in silence.

"Man, I think you need to lay off those comics. Those conspiracy theories are really getting to you." Shigeru said and laughed as he leaned back in his chair. Maya giggled, using her hand to try and disguise her amusement.

"Yeah, yeah. Go ahead and laugh at me." Makoto grumbled as his face turned red.

"Lighten up. This isn't the season for cloaks and daggers. It's Christmas and New Years time. Just the other day you were all hot and bothered about that Christmas tree thing at the mall. Which reminds me, I have to send my nephew his New Years money." Shigeru grabbed his magazine and began to flip through the pages.

"Nephew?" Maya asked.

"Yeah. Older brother's kid."

"I have to go shopping for family soon too." Makoto said and drained the remains of his coffee. "Hey, you know what would be a great idea?"

"Oh no, he's got another one." Shigeru responded with sarcasm.

"I've been reading up on Christmas traditions, and there's this one thing that they do called an 'Office Gift Exchange'. We should have a gift exchange."

"You mean between the personnel?" Maya asked, her thoughts returning to the ceramic cats that she had seen at the mall.

"Not everyone, just between the three of us."

"Just between the three of us? Are you gay?" Shigeru asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Hey, I think it's a good idea." Maya said in Makoto's defense.

"Yeah, well, it's a challenge trying to live off my meager salary as it is." Shigeru went back to his magazine.

"It doesn't have to be expensive. You know, just something small, to celebrate living through the year." Makoto said, earning a chuckle from them.

"I guess so. Might as well get into the spirit of things." Shigeru finally conceded. "Well, I'm gonna get something to eat. You two want anything?"

"I'm fine."

"Could you get me a bag of trail mix from the machine?" Maya asked.

"Sure thing. Be right back."

----------

Shinji's appearance hadn't changed much. His skin was still pale and he still had dark rings around his eyes. The buttons on his white shirt were mismatched with their spots and his tail was untucked. However, the look in his eyes had changed quite a bit, and if one were to look closely, they might say that his eyes held anticipation.

He puttered around in the kitchen, first putting a kettle of water on the stove to boil, then taking out two cups and saucers. After moving about the kitchen restlessly, he went into the living room and sat down on the couch. He stared at the blank television screen as Pen Pen eyed him intently. A manila envelope, with the name Rei Ayanami written on the front, lay on top of the table. There was a soft knocking on the front door. Shinji quickly stirred from his reverie on the couch to answer.

"Good evening Ikari." Rei said from the doorway.

"G-Good evening." Then the sound of the teakettle whistling could be heard from inside the kitchen. "I put some tea on. Please come in."

"Thank you." Rei removed her shoes as Shinji shuffled into the kitchen.

"I'll take those." Shinji met her in the living room and offered to take her matching blue sweater and scarf. After he stored them in the coat closet, he returned to the kitchen to get the tea. "Here you are."

"Thank you. The temperature outside is quite low." She tentatively sipped at her tea, and Shinji took a seat next to her on the couch.

"Yeah, it is a bit chilly nowadays." He glanced at her and noted that her cheeks were slightly flushed because of the cold, and he could feel a slight rise of red in his face as well.

"Thank you for keeping possession of my assignments for an extended period of time. I am afraid that after our tea the other day, I felt a bit too tired to walk to your apartment." Rei said tonelessly.

"N-No! It's no trouble at all." Shinji said quickly. There was a temporary lapse into silence as Shinji shifted uncomfortably, feeling a little uneasy.

"How are Major Katsuragi and Pilot Sohryuu?"

"Huh? Oh, um…I don't know…" Shinji said softly and rubbed the back of his head.

"Why don't you? Do you not care for them?"

"N-No! It's not like that! It's just…just…" Shinji trailed off into silence after a nervous outburst.

"You still sound lost, Ikari." Rei said and tilted her head slightly as she examined him.

"I-I-I guess…I g-guess that m-maybe I am…" He responded in a hollow tone. "I-I-I guess…the reason is, I mean the reason I don't know about Misato or Asuka…the reason is…I…we…have just grown distant. And I…I think that that's also part of the reason why I feel lost." He timidly looked up at Rei, almost as if looking for encouragement or support.

"I am listening." She said softly, almost soothingly, and Shinji's expression relaxed a bit.

"I don't know where I belong anymore. Everyone that I thought I knew, a-are all of a sudden becoming different people. Everyone is changing, and I don't feel like I belong anymore."

"Is change necessarily a bad thing?" Rei asked, causing him a bit of anxiety.

"What do you mean?"

"Everyone changes Ikari. Some less and some more than others. People grow and change as time goes by, as they gain more experience, as they gain more knowledge. Change is a natural part of life. But like me, they are still the same."

"I-I d-don't understand." Shinji said in a desperate voice that suggested that he was about to crack.

"Please calm yourself Ikari, and I will explain." Shinji gulped audibly and gazed intently at her. "Once the caterpillar gets to a certain point in its life, it forms a cocoon around itself, going into a sort of hibernation, and then through a metamorphosis. When it hatches, it is different. But it is the same creature that was the caterpillar at one point in its life."

"B-But, that's not all of it."

"Oh?"

"Its not just that people are changing…its…that people are growing distant. They're moving away in all different directions and I'm left alone. With nothing."

"Movement is relative Ikari. Maybe it is you who are growing distant, by standing still." Shinji waited to see if Rei would expand on her interpretation. After waiting several minutes in silence, he came to the conclusion that she wouldn't.

"I'm home!" He silently cursed Misato as she arrived just before he could ask Rei to explain herself. "Oh…Rei…what are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry for intruding. I came here to get my assignments…"

"No! I was just surprised! Would you like to stay for dinner?" Misato exclaimed quickly.

"Thank you, but I have eaten already. And Shinji has been more than generous by serving me tea while I recovered from the cold." Rei stood and bowed.

"Do you want a ride home…or something?"

"No thank you Major Katsuragi. I enjoy walking." Rei walked toward the entrance and Shinji followed hurriedly after her.

"Let me get your stuff." He said and grabbed her sweater and scarf from the coat closet. "Here." He handed them to her and held her assignments while she dressed for the cold.

"If you don't want to be alone, then stop standing still." She whispered in his ear as she leaned forward to take the envelope from him. "Thank you." She said again as she backed away from a confused Shinji.

"Are you sure you don't need a ride home?" Misato asked again as she joined them at the entrance.

"It may be cold outside, but the snow is a welcome change." Then Rei turned and left. Shinji stood at the door for a moment longer, watching her walk down the hall before closing the door and turning to walk back toward the living room.

Misato stood to the side in pained silence as he drifted by her to clean up the cups and dishes. She sighed and went to change as he disappeared into the kitchen. When she came out dressed in more casual clothes, she saw that his bedroom door was shut and he was no where else in the apartment. She drew the obvious conclusion and went to the refrigerator.

"Waark!" Pen Pen squawked as he waddled out of his den and toward the bathroom.

Misato allowed herself to smile as she watched her long time companion go for his daily bath. As she leaned forward to check what was in the refrigerator, she heard the muscles in her back pop and creak. With a grunt, she grabbed a can of iced coffee and trudged her way to the dining room table. After taking a long pull, she rested her head on her arms, intending to close her eyes briefly.

The day had been long and hard as she waited for the Sub-Commander to find an opening in his schedule. Apparently, the Commander's trip to the UN had caused quite a fuss among many important government officials, many of which Fuyutsuki was left to deal with. While she waited, she deduced that he had probably scheduled the tests due to some type of political pressure. Although she was understood and sympathized that he was under a lot of stress, she still didn't see why Asuka had to participate in a synchronization test so soon.

When she was finally granted a few minutes to speak with the Sub-Commander, the meeting had not gone well. All she found that she could do was state her displeasure that Asuka would have to do the test. To top it off, Fuyutsuki had been curt and condescending, dismissing her after a short explanation of his reasons. She left feeling deflated.

She spent the rest of the day doing paperwork and paused briefly to make a few calls in order to find Asuka a little welcome home gift. She called it quits and left an hour earlier than she was supposed to with little regret.

When she had arrived home, she had been surprised to find Rei there, apparently having tea with Shinji. For a brief second, she had hoped that Shinji had finally come out of his shell to interact with the world once again. However, her hopes were dispelled when Rei greeted her before Shinji did. She felt that Shinji actually was disappointed that she had come home, as if she were interrupting something that was very important to him. Not only had he not looked at her, but also he had completely ignored her, as if she didn't exist. He spoke only to Rei and when she left, he had bottled himself up in his room again.

She felt a little jealous that Shinji would open up to Rei before he opened up to her, but part of her was still happy that he was becoming more trusting. She recalled the first night that spent in her apartment. She admitted to herself that at first she hadn't thought very much of him. He was a sweet boy, but he wasn't a soldier. She thought that he was too soft of heart to make it very far. In fact, she thought that he volunteered to replace Rei only because he was too soft to let her get into Eva. Not only that, but his first victory was a fluke. She was grateful that he chose to pilot, but he wasn't a soldier.

"Mi-Misato?" Her head shot up from the position that it had been previously in, causing a sharp pain in her neck. "Are…are you all right?" Shinji asked timidly.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I'm just getting up there in years. Big Three Oh." She replied with a halfhearted smile.

"Um…are you hungry? Would you like s-something to…um…eat? I could fix something up real quick, but it won't be much." He offered.

She looked upon his drooping figure and although she could only attempt a half a smile, her heart was singing with joy. He still wasn't looking at her, but he was talking to her.

"Sure, that would be great Shinji. Anything will be fine."

----------

She jumped down and ran over to the Christmas tree, reached behind it to find the plug, then plugged it into the wall socket. The lights flickered momentarily before finally flashing on in patterns and intervals. Everything danced before her eyes and she giggled happily. She closed her eyes as she inhaled the fresh scent of pine. She knew that snow didn't have a smell, but she felt that if it did have a smell, freshly fallen snow would smell like pine.

She picked up one of her gifts and quickly ran to her father's armchair. She pulled herself up onto the seat and grabbed a hold of her teddy bear. She had left it there when she had first come down from bed, and she held it close as her fingers traced the delicate ribbons of her gift. Her mother wrapped all the gifts from her parents. Even when her mother was away in Berlin, she had bought all the gifts, wrapped them, and then sent them home by mail. She took the box and held it close to her ear before beginning to shake it lightly. And then…

Asuka couldn't remember what happened next. She kneeled on the chair cushion, her head propped up on her hands while her elbows rested on the window sill. She wondered if snow really did have a smell. She looked up in the sky and found that the clouds were gone, though they would probably be back by morning. Stars were scattered across the night sky, and she was reminded of the Christmas books that she used to read. The illustrations showed pure white snow rolling smoothly across the landscape while single bright star shone in the sky, shining a soft yet powerful light upon the entire world. In those books, all wrongs were righted, everything broken was fixed, and all the impossible made possible. She remembered that her mother used to read her those stories. Then she smirked.

"Fuck you mom." She said and wiped a tear away before going back to bed.

----------

Rei stood on the balcony, in her pajamas with a cup of tea in her hands. She wore slippers on her feet as snow had collected on the balcony floor and on the railing. She had tried as much as possible not to disturb the picture that was in front of her. Her mind was clear of anything with the exception of the portrait. Her eyes took everything in, memorizing every detail. Once she was done with her mental photograph she sipped at her tea and went back inside, closing the sliding glass door behind her. The envelope with her missing assignments lay unopened on the kitchen counter, serving a double purpose as a place mat for her tea items.

Once she had washed her dishes, she brushed her teeth and prepared for sleep. She sat on the edge of her bed and put on a pair of socks since the apartment was particularly cold that night. As she did so, she took notice of the broken pair of glasses on her nightstand. She sat looking at it for long while, before she picked it up. She let it rest in the palm of her hands as she looked into the glass.

"You are not replaceable." She repeated the Commander's words. "You are not a tool." Then she stood up, walked to the balcony door and opened it. "You are a human being." She said finally and tossed the broken glasses over the edge.

The cold air stung as a light breeze blew by her face. Without so much as a glance behind, she closed the door and went to bed.

----------

The snow crunched noisily beneath the feet of hundreds of people. Christmas music drifted out on to the street from inside the stores only to be lost amongst the voices of the people , the ringing of bells and the rumble of car engines. Gendo thought that he could make out Neil Diamond singing.

"Sorry about the noise, sir. Christmas is an irritating time of the year. Songs, charity bells and all that." Vargas said as he followed Gendo through the crowds.

"I find it refreshing."

"Of course, sir. Very refreshing." He corrected himself through his false smile.

Gendo was looking for something in particular, his eyes scanning the windows and displays of every shop that he went by. He finally saw what he was looking for and halted in front of a hallmark shop, behind a group of children. The children had their faces pressed up against the glass, talking and giggling amongst each other at the elaborate toy train that circled through a town blanketed with snow.

"Hey! Skedaddle. Fuck off. Sorry sir, little buggers are like roaches."

"That was unnecessary, Mr. Vargas." Gendo replied, irritated.

"Of course sir. Sorry sir." Vargas said quickly and adjusted his tie. "I really love kids you know. Love'em so much that I might have a few running around." He laughed at his own joke.

"God forbid." Gendo said under his breath.

"Excuse me sir?"

"Is that a pretzel shop across the street?"

"Yes sir."

"Get one for me."

"Absolutely sir." And to Gendo's relief, he hurried off.

With his aide gone, Gendo was able to turn his full attention to what caught his eye. It had been a familiar ornament for a Christmas tree. The ornament was a small angel in a white gown. Its hands held together in a silent prayer with its blue eyes turned up to the heavens. A glowing halo hung over a head of short black hair, and small wings were folded behind its back.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Yui asked and pointed at it.

"Train!" Shinji said and pressed his face up against the glass.

"And it looks so much like our little angel." Yui continued. "Let's get it."

"But we've never had a Christmas tree." He responded, thinking about the practicality.

"Shush. I want it and Shinji wants it."

"I think our little guy is more interested in the train."

"Shinji, come here." Shinji's attention immediately shifted to his mother. "Do you see that over there?" She asked and pointed at the ornament.

"Uh-huh." He nodded enthusiastically.

"What do you think? Do you like it?"

"It's pretty." Shinji said while continuing to nod.

"It's settled. We're getting it." She said and flashed him a victory smile.

"When I got to the front of the line, I realized that I never asked what you wanted." Vargas said and stepped up next to Gendo. "So I got you a plain one, lightly salted. Is that okay?"

"I'm sorry Mr. Vargas. I am no longer hungry. You may have it if you wish." Gendo said and stepped in the hallmark shop. Vargas stood outside, confused for a little while, then he shrugged and began to eat the pretzel.

----------

"Shit." Ritsuko swore as she spilled some coffee across her reports. She grabbed a napkin from the dispenser at the center of the cafeteria table and dabbed at it, sighed resignedly and tossed it away. She picked up her pen, pushed the stained papers away to dry and continued through what seemed like endless stacks of reports and files that Maya had compiled for her.

"This is everything that you have missed." She had said bashfully. "A lot of it is incomplete. Sorry. I'm just not sure about the analyses. If you want, I can go over them with you?" Instead of frowning and cursing under her breath, Ritsuko had smiled fondly.

"No. Get some rest. You've done a lot already." Maya had protested a little bit, but eventually conceded and left. Ritsuko had watched as her pupil made her way down the hall, never walking more than a few steps before casting a glance over her shoulder. Maya waved from the elevator as the doors closed. Ritsuko waved back, her lips creased in that small smile that always threatened to crack her mask.

The words on the paper began to blur and mold into different figures. She took her glasses off and rubbed her darkened eyes. When she finished, she found that her vision had just gotten worse, and she couldn't even make out the other lone figures in the room. She placed her glasses on and strained to see the time on her watch. When she finally made out the time, she pulled out a plastic tube, took the cap off, tilted it at an angle and gently tapped it with her index finger until a capsule rolled out. Without a second glance, she placed it on her tongue, let it roll to the back of her throat and then swallowed. She repeated four times with different kinds of pills, and finished the rest of the coffee in the mug before getting up to refill. Upon her return, she saw a familiar face in the seat across from hers.

"Good evening Doctor. Is this seat taken?" He asked as she sat down.

"Why no, Professor, but please pardon the mess." She replied and went back the reports.

"You look tired." Fuyutsuki commented as he sipped at his tea.

"Two days without sleep can do that to you." She returned dryly.

"Then stop for a second. Let's talk. I haven't been out of the base for a week and a half. My social skills are becoming dull." He invited, trying to sound cordial.

"I've got enough missed work to keep me sleepless until New Years."

"I thought Maya was covering for you?"

"She's a good kid, but she's so unsure of herself. Everything she does, she second guesses. Slows her down and causes errors."

"Maybe her teacher might let her get some independent, yet supervised experience."

"You've been doing that for the past twenty years, and look where it's gotten your students." Fuyutsuki stayed silent. "Sorry." Ritsuko apologized without looking up. "I was trying to be funny. I do that sometimes."

"It's all right." Fuyutsuki said softly. "I'm as much at fault as anyone else."

The two sat in silence, the only two figures left in the empty cafeteria.

"What are you working on?" Fuyutsuki ventured again.

"Pre-synch test paper work for the pilots. You scheduled it for the end of the week, did you not?"

"Yes, I did."

"Well, if you want to talk, then let's talk about how unpopular this test is."

"It can't be more unpopular than the midterms I used to give out."

"Funny. I'm not shitting you. I'm sure you've gotten complaints from Misato."

"I have."

"I'm inclined to agree with her."

"It has to be done. You know how close we are."

"You're pushing the fold."

"But we have to know what we have, because next time, they're fighting humans."

"That mother fucker." Ritsuko spat out. "If it weren't for him…"

"If not him, it would've been someone else. That's how they work."

"But I wouldn't have become so attached to someone else." Ritsuko said and took her glasses off.

"We all make mistakes. I've been making them for fifteen years."

"That sounds about right to me." She rested her chin on one hand and looked tiredly at him. He had a small smile on his face which slowly grew larger until it turned to laughter. "What?"

"You know, I called him twice since he left, because I didn't know what to do. SEELE has been breathing down my neck, wanting to know where we stand on the project, and I don't know what he's going to do." He leaned in almost as if sharing a secret. "And do you know what he told me to do? He told me to do what I needed to do." Ritsuko chuckled. "Since technically we're both in charge, I was wondering, what do you think we need to do?"

"Enigmatic bastard." She began with wry smile. "We could do the right thing for once."

"Yeah." Fuyutsuki agreed after a long silence. "For once."

"I mean, we're going to hell anyway."

"Yeah." He agreed again. "Might as well take a deserving few along with us."

----------

"Home sweet home, eh?" Misato asked as she shook the snow off her jacket it hung it on the wall. She turned and forced a smile at Asuka who seemed to just stand in the entryway, eyes to floor and unmoving. "We have some leftovers in the fridge if you're hungry." Still nothing. "But if you want, I'm sure I could get Shinji to fix something up for you."

"No thank you." Asuka said flatly. "I'll have the leftovers." She still hadn't moved.

"Well," Misato shrugged and continued awkwardly. "Make yourself at home, cause y'know, it is your home after all." Her feet began to ache and she realized that she had begun to nervously roll from the ball of her foot to her heel, and then back again. After one last look at the still life picture in front of her, Misato retreated to the kitchen to warm up the leftovers.

She went through the motions mindlessly. Tupperware from the fridge, food from the Tupperware to the plate, plate into the microwave. She sighed and leaned on the edge of the counter as the hum of the microwave continued in the background.

Earlier that day, she had tried to have another talk with the sub-commander about the upcoming synch test. She had waited for over an hour for Fuyutsuki to come out of a meeting with some of the top brass, only to be told by the secretary that Fuyutsuki refused to see her, quoting that he had something more important to do. When it signaled that it was done, she took the steaming plate of food out and placed it on the table.

"Asuka, it's ready." Misato called out. No answer. "Asuka?" She walked into the entryway and saw Asuka's shoes placed neatly alongside the rest of the footwear, and her coat hanging from the wall. Misato wandered into the living room, hoping to find her charge on the couch watching TV. No one there. She looked down the hall and the bathroom seemed unoccupied. Misato sighed and her shoulders slumped. Her feet scraped across the floor as she made her to Asuka's bedroom door.

"Asuka, your dinner's ready." She had said softly as she gently rapped on her door. After what seemed like the hundredth no-answer, she slowly slid the door open.

Asuka's clothes lay folded almost perfectly on her chair, and a figure lay on the bed, back to the door and sheets pulled up to the neck. Misato gently shut the door and made her way to her room. She changed out of her uniform and into her "at home" attire.

She walked softly down back down the hall and stopped at Shinji's room. She reached forward to knock but her hand stopped inches from the door. It hovered there for a brief second, and then she knocked. Her hands shaking caused her knocks to be erratic, and she could feel a flush rise up in her face.

"Shinji? May I come in?" She asked timidly and opened the door to find him hunched over a notebook, a pensive look on his face as he jotted down words of hidden meaning. She took a step in and felt something scratch against her foot looked to see a crumpled ball of torn notebook paper on the floor. Her eyes roamed across the rest of the room noting very similar formations of torn paper all across the floor.

"Shinji? What are you…" She stopped as his head jerked up suddenly.

"Huh? Oh…hi Misato. Welcome home." He said and turned back to his writing.

"What are you…?" She trailed off and bit down on her lower lip. "So…uh…Asuka's home."

The sound of gentle scratching on paper paused. He looked up at her, an odd look in his ever shadowed eyes.

"She is?"

"Yeah. She went straight to her room." Shinji looked back at his notebook.

"She…she must've been tired." His voice seemed to wander aimlessly like a lost dog.

"I warmed up some dinner for her, but she didn't seem interested. Would you like it?" She tensed up for his answer.

"I…I'd really like to join you." He said and looked at her apologetically. "But I have some…work to do." He turned back.

"All right. Try and get some sleep, huh?" He didn't answer but only continued to scribble.

Misato closed his door with a heavy sigh and ran her hands through her hair, catching a knot. She winced as she tugged it free and went to the kitchen. She stood silently in front of the open door for several minutes, and she finally reached in and grabbed a can of beer. She sat down in front of the quickly cooling food. She took a bite of fish and took a sip of beer and looked out the window at the falling snow. An involuntary shiver made its way up her spine and she raised her can.

"Cheers." She said to herself, and ate the rest of her meal in silence.

----------

"Please, sit down." Fuyutsuki said and motioned toward the simple chair in front of the large, black desk. The young man sat down without hesitation and assumed a proper, solid, business-like air. Fuyutsuki's eyes took in the thin frame, the neatly parted hair and the immaculate military uniform without trace of wrinkles or loose hairs.

"Thank you Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki for inviting me here. It is a great honor, sir." He said and bowed his head courteously.

"Yes, well, you're very welcome. Are you aware of why you have been invited here?" Fuyutsuki said, trying to muster as much authority as he could in his unfamiliar position of power.

"Sir, I was informed that you had a position on your security staff in which my skills could be applied." He spoke stiffly, confidently.

"Were you informed of what kind of position it was?"

"No sir." Concise.

"Well," Fuyutsuki said with a faint smile as he fingered his pen upon the desk. "What I'm about to say cannot leave this room. I'm sure you understand that."

"Yes sir."

"If you choose not to accept this position, then you will leave and tell your superior and anyone else who asks that you simply were not interested in becoming a security guard. Understood?" Fuyutsuki spoke slowly and clearly, never breaking eye contact with the young man.

"Yes sir."

"Are you aware of our department known as Section-2?"

"Vaguely, sir."

"What do you think they do?"

"They are assigned as body guards for the Children sir."

"Among other things yes. In essence, they are NERV's Secret Service. They have a wide array of responsibilities, ranging from Exec Protects to internal affairs. The position I offer you is to be the new Director of Section-2."

"Excuse me sir?"

"It is a position of great responsibility, that is without a doubt. A very prominent position for a man of your age and experience, but I believe, from reading your files, that you have the traits that we are looking for in this position. It is a position that would make your family very proud." Fuyutsuki paused to let the young man dwell on it.

"I…"

"Hold on. This position would require you to do certain things that you might not be on the whole, comfortable with doing." Fuyutsuki detected no reaction.

"Do I have time to think about this, sir?"

"No." Fuyutsuki said flatly.

"Then I accept sir."

"Are you comfortable with what we will expect from you?"

"Yes sir. A little apprehensive, but I'll get over it."

"Welcome to NERV Captain Asai."

"One more question sir." The young man inquired as they stood. "Don't you already have a Director for Section-2?"

"Yes." Fuyutsuki brushed himself down. "But he's been marked for liquidation."

"Liquidation sir?"

"Yes. Your first task, as soon as I inform your superiors of your transfer, is to liquidate all personnel who are liabilities. And believe me, there are quite a few. In fact, it would be a good idea to get started right now." Fuyutsuki opened up the desk drawer and pulled out a file, a silenced pistol, and a pair of latex gloves.

"This file contains the names, addresses and numbers of all new and old Section-2 Agents who know and accept the change in command. As of this moment, they await orders. Also inside, on the cover slip, is your office number and the office number of the current Director, Nobuyuki Sato. You notice they're on the same level, why don't you pay him a visit on the way over." Fuyutsuki pushed all three items toward the young man, who seemed oddly calm. "The Assistant Director, Ryoko Takaki, is waiting for you at your office with a complete briefing."

"You will not be disappointed sir." Asai said confidently as he pulled on the latex gloves. He then checked the pistol magazine, picked up the file, bowed, turned and left the room.

----------

The comforter enveloped her, making her both warm and uncomfortable. It felt a hundred pounds too heavy as she tossed and turned restlessly. She wanted to sleep, but feared what might surface should she drift off. She finally flung the comforter off her frame and stared upon the ceiling. The light fixture in the center stared back at her and she kept waiting for the sound of creaking. Then she felt something next to her move.

She gave a start and a squeal emitted from her as a little girl crawled across her on the bed and hopped on to the floor. The child had long red hair and wore a cute, pink night gown. Asuka sat, momentarily stunned. The little girl slowly opened the bedroom door and peeked down the hall in either direction. Then she slowly slipped out of the room and shut the door behind her.

Asuka cautiously stood up and tiptoed her way to the door. She too, peeked out and scanned the hall. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw at one end of the hall, there was a staircase leading down. She crept out and quickly made her way down the hall toward the staircase. As she neared, she made out the soft glow of multi-colored lights. She looked down into her living room from the staircase and saw the little girl going from present to present underneath the tree and shaking each in turn. She didn't even bother to try and suppress the smile on her face.

She made her way down the stairs and watched the little girl as she tried to peek through the slits in the wrapping paper. Asuka too a seat in the arm chair and laughed to herself as the little girls gave up and went and went to the window that looked out toward the street. She wrapped her arms around herself and rubbed her arms to keep warm as she stood up and walked over to the girl.

The girl was close enough to the glass so that every few seconds, a cloud of fog would appear before receding again. She cast a glance back toward the tree before refocusing her attention on the street and the snowfall outside. The snow blanketed the streets and the sidewalks, and topped the other houses along the streets like frosting. The similarly capped street lights cast dim halos against the gentle darkness.

Asuka rubbed her arms again and shivered slightly at the cold. She cast one last envious look at the little girl before turning to go back upstairs, a smile still on her face. As she reached the top of the stairs, she heard a clock begin to chime. She froze in her tracks and she shivered again, a sense of foreboding creeping over her. At the sixth chime, it stopped. Her brow furrowed, she cast a worried glance at the living room. As she did so, she saw a bright light flood the frame of the window. She saw that the little girl was pressed up against the glass. She heard the shutting of a car door. Her eyes widened and she quickly made her way down the stairs, the light in the window fading and the crunching of snow growing distant.

"Mama!" The little girl cried out joyously and waved.

"No! Don't go!" Asuka called after her, but the little girl seemed not to hear and dashed off to the front door.

The room became darker and the tree became brown. The multi-colored lights turned red and a breeze seemed to blow through the house.

"Mama?" The little girl said curiously. She stopped a few feet from the door, staring at the base. A glistening blackish red liquid was slithering in from beneath the door. There was a sharp click that pierced the silence as the front door unlocked.

"Get away!" Asuka screamed and jumped the last few steps, stumbling but quickly regaining her balance.

There was a sick creaking sound and a second click, softer than the first. Then the door began to swing open.

Asuka got to the girl as the door opened wide, revealing a dark figure swinging from a piece of rope in the doorway. She saw the little girl's eyes go wide, her smile faltered but she didn't scream. Asuka wrapped her arms around the girl and turned her away, shielding her from the dark figure.

"Don't look. Don't look." Asuka whispered to the girl as she held her close, tears rolling down her face. "Don't look." But Asuka's eyes remained glued to the marionette.

----------

"Don't look." Asuka mumbled in her sleep.

Shinji picked up her blankets from the floor. As he stared at her, his eyes began to water. He quickly wiped them on his sleeve before draping the blankets on her. He continued to stare for a moment longer before he turned and walked silently out of the room.

----------

Shinji sat up straight in bed. His breaths came in heaves and his night shirt clung to him with sweat. He looked around his darkened room and found it empty. He sighed and buried his face in his sheets and began to sob silently. It wasn't long before he sat up straight again and made a great effort to get himself back under control. He checked his clock, 6:43 in red digits. He lay back down and stared at the ceiling, knowing that his eyes wouldn't be shutting again. After a few moments, he rolled out of bed and stumbled his way through the mess of paper that covered his floor like a carpet.

Shinji took a seat at his desk and opened his notebook to his most recent draft. He worked on it for a while. As he looked over his redone letter, the characters began to blur. He blinked a few times and rubbed at his eyes to regain some clarity but when he opened them again, the world began to spin and he steadied himself on his desk to keep from falling out of his chair. He checked the clock again, 8:22 in red digits.

He stood up and picked some clean but unkempt clothes out of his closet and went to the bathroom to shower. When he got out and dried off, he took a look at himself in the mirror. He sighed at the sight of himself and got dressed. On the way back to his room, he quietly opened the door to Misato's room and caught his guardian sprawled out on her futon. There were a few empty beer cans around her bed, and Shinji went in and picked them up, trying not to disturb her. After dumping the cans, he went back to check on Asuka. He knocked softly and after hearing no reply, he slowly opened the door to her room. It was empty.

Shinji entered and picked up her clothes and made her bed. Once satisfied that it was picture perfect, he went back to the kitchen and made some breakfast. After putting it on a plate, he wrapped it in cellophane and left it on the kitchen counter with a note next to it. He put on his coat and his sneakers, and he left the apartment.

----------

"May I ask what's in the box?" Fuyutsuki asked, his tone lightly laced with sarcasm.

"Something of great sentimental value." Fuyutsuki sighed and rubbed his sinuses at Gendo's response.

"It shall be done." He said tiredly, and then heard a click on the other end of the line. He looked at the phone and shook his head before placing the phone back on the receiver. There was a slight rapping on the door. "Come in."

Asai stepped into the dark room, his immaculate military uniform was replaced by an immaculate black suit, white pressed shirt, tie and shined shoes.

"Sir." He saluted smartly and walked up to the desk, files in hand.

"How do you like your job so far, Captain?" Fuyutsuki asked as he took the files from the young officer and began to idly flip through them.

"I'm managing, sir, just a few bumps we need to work out."

"Such as?"

"We're running out of places for the bodies."

"Call Hong Kong. Tell them to add them to their pile."

"Yes sir. We're also running out of accounts to tell their families."

"Shuffle some off to Marumo in Public Relations to lighten the load."

"I'd also like to transfer some agents out and hire some new ones."

"Oh?" Fuyutsuki paused for a second and looked up from the files.

"Check files R-451 through R-460, sir."

"Let's see…" He began. "Transferring out is Oshiro, Zukuran, Tome, Yamashiro and Kumakura. New hires are Kuriki, Suda, Date, Maeda and Watanabe." Fuyutsuki raised his eyebrows. "First of all, why are you transferring these men out?"

"They're Okinawans, sir. It's a matter of trust." Asai said stiffly.

Fuyutsuki remained silent for a while before continuing.

"All right, you get the transfers. I approve of all of the new hires, but Shohei Watanabe?"

"He was a servant of my father's. A very loyal, honorable and trustworthy man. He performed some of my family's top priority assignments and errands. I will stake my own honor on him."

"Very well." Fuyutsuki conceded after some thought. "Fax Watanabe's transfer to Haruko Funakoshi, care of the Ministry of Justice."

"I'll include a cover letter saying to call you if she has any questions."

"Which she most certainly will." He half grumbled to himself. "What else?"

"I think we might've found a candidate for our assignment."

"Did you?"

"It's in file P-042. Right in the back there, sir. That one. Ms. Takaki and I were browsing through some of Ex-Director Sato's old files and found his profile."

Fuyutsuki's eyebrows rose once again.

"You realize that this man is a prisoner of ours?"

"His profile is exactly what we're looking for."

"No. He's a liability."

"Sir…"

"No."

"With all due respect sir, I think he's a major asset waiting to be used."

"Even if I said yes, what makes you think he would work for us?"

"I think we could use some sort of reward system."

"I know this man. He's not just someone we caught and put away. I know him. Hell would freeze over before he would submit to bribery."

"I anticipated that, sir, so Ms. Takaki and I did some investigating and found some leverage. It's all in the file, sir."

Fuyutsuki looked through it and he slowly nodded.

"You think this will work?"

"Absolutely sir."

"Very well. This'll be on your head if this goes sour. Are you willing to accept that?"

"Yes sir."

Fuyutsuki looked over the rest of the files in silence, every so often signing or adding his initials.

"Overall, very impressive. It wasn't a mistake to hire you."

"I'm honored sir." He bowed.

"Before you return to work, there is something we need to discuss." Fuyutsuki stacked the files and pushed them to the side of the desk.

"Sir?" Asai leaned in as Fuyutsuki did.

"An opportunity has arisen. A rather high ranking member of the Council will be visiting us. I believe that if we abducted him and applied some of your methods of persuasion, he could be made to tell us some valuable information about the other councilmen."

"Very good sir. May I ask who it is?"

"Defense Minister Ryuhei Nako."

"He's a councilman?" Asai stood up straight in surprise.

Fuyutsuki nodded and paused. "He's also Okinawan."

"Of course he is." Asai snorted.

"I think that in order to pull this off successfully, we need to have some very careful collaboration with certain government officials. As such, I want you to, as delicately as possible, explain our situation to the Minister of the Interior. Be very careful, a wrong word could send this to the Prime Minister, and then to the UN, and then all hell would break loose."

"Don't worry sir. Minister Matsudaira is from an old, honorable family. I'll make him understand."

"Very good. Dismissed."

----------

Asuka's breath came out in clouds. She remembered a time when she would stand outside, curve her lips into a perfect "O" and then breathe just to see it. She would smile, laugh, and then do it again. The very first time she saw her breath, she actually tried to reach up and grab it. Her fingers flowed right through it, and it would vanish into the chilly air. Trying to remember her last Christmas with her mother was like trying to grasp her breath before it disappeared forever.

She walked through the park, eyes on the ground. She stuck to the walkway, and made her way through the thin fog that lingered around her knees. The trees' barren branches were laced with white, and some had even formed icicles that would drip once the sun had fully made its way into the sky. Snow blanketed the ground, and it seemed to shine in the early morning light.

Asuka stopped as something caught her gaze. It was a swing set, sitting in the park playground. She began to walk toward it as if in a trance. She tugged her red coat tightly around her body as her shoes crunched in the snow, leaving a trail of footprints behind. She paused at the swing set and seemed to stare for a moment. Then she brushed the snow off one of the seats and sat down. She stared at the top of her shoes, feeling the snow remnants soaking into her socks. Then she began to swing.

----------

"First, I'd like to say that you did the right thing contacting me." The young man lit a cigarette and inhaled. "But, there is a problem." His posture went from relaxed to almost frigid in the folding steel chair that was provided for him. "Consider, for a second if you will, my position."

Fuyutsuki tried his best not to openly glare at the young man as smoke was blown in his general direction.

"I'll do my best."

The young man stopped at the hostility in Fuyutsuki's voice and then laughed.

"I don't think you appreciate the fragility of this situation – of your position." He emphasized the last part and inhaled again. "My good friend Mr. Asai told me that you would like to make this situation right – that you would like to reveal the corruption in the government that has somehow managed to slip by us. Now, in order to do this you must put yourselves in a very awkward position, one that would require the help of a considerably powerful organization – which is almost ironic considering your position of power. Yet, despite this favor you seem to be asking of us, you offer us nothing. You don't give us names, you don't give us access to your files, you won't give us operation reports and for some odd reason, for the longest time you didn't even want to give us status reports – gave them straight to the UN."

"We told you that we'd take care of everything ourselves, we just need your help to keep everything low profile. You have to trust us." Ritsuko spoke from the far corner of the room.

"Not good enough." The young man flicked his cigarette away and slouched in his chair.

"Look, just tell us what you want." Fuyutsuki began rubbing his sinuses.

A grin spread on the young man's cadaverous face.

"Names."

"Defense Minister Ryuhei Nako, General Gengoro Takeda and Governor Toshiharu Takashita."

"Those are big names." The young man whistled and nodded. "I'll also need copies of all your reports from the beginning of last year."

"What?" Fuyutsuki looked up. "I thought you wanted names."

"I did want names, now I want operational and status reports and it would be wise of you to give them to me."

"Listen you little shit. I think you forget who you're speaking to. I could make you disappear like that." Fuyutsuki snapped his fingers. "This is a courtesy."

"You're doing me a courtesy?" The young man began to laugh, snorting obnoxiously. "Gramps, with what you're asking us to do, I'd say it is us doing you the courtesy. Even after all this, I'd say you still owe us plenty."

"You don't want to get into the counting game with me. While your parents were still wiping your ass, my organization was covering up for your boss. I think you should remind him of Singapore before he sends some smartass shit to make demands of me. And call me gramps one more time I'll have the big man behind you snap you in half like the twig you are." Fuyutsuki stared down the young man across the table from him, who stared back without expression.

"We're on the same side here." The young man finally said with another grin. "All right, you know what? I apologize. Fuck the reports. Every branch has something to hide, right? We wouldn't want you guys poking around our files. Tell you what though, give us two arrests – that is, considering we find what you say we'll find – and we'll call it even."

"What two did you have in mind?" Fuyutsuki said, teeth still clenched.

"Nako and Takeda. The military men will score us some brownie points with the big man and it'll make us look good in the public eye. In exchange, you can do whatever you want to Takashita and we'll find a way to keep it incognito."

"No can do. We need Nako. You can have Takeda and Takashita."

"If only it were that simple. There are no ties between Takashita and Takeda. It wouldn't make sense that we arrest those two and then all of a sudden Nako disappears. That is suspicious."

"Nako is coming here. He won't tell anybody because he doesn't want anyone to know that he's here. Look…" Fuyutsuki stopped and sighed. "Look…if we get the information we need from him, you'll have more than military corruption, extortion, what have you. You'll have treason, conspiring with foreign agents, and anything you can find in the reports we'll be giving you."

"Reports?" The young man asked with raised eyebrows.

"You will get all reports from here on in, but you get nothing from the past. Agreed? Just give us Nako." The young man pursed his lips and closed his eyes, nodding in silent thought.

"All right. Everything still banks of me getting Matsudaira to approve this. So for all of our sakes, you better pray that I'm convincing." The young man stood up.

"Thank you for your time Mr. Shioiri." Fuyutsuki breathed a heavy sigh of relief and extended his hand.

"Call me Kenji." The young man grinned and shook the offered hand.

Fuyutsuki looked at Asai as the doors shut behind Kenji.

"Are you sure you'll be able to convince the Minister?"

"Absolutely sir." The young man stated confidently.

----------

"Good morning Ayanami. Have you been well?" Shinji asked and smiled shakily. Not much had changed in the form of appearances. He looked better groomed, but that was all that had improved. His white shirt and slacks were terribly wrinkled, and his white sneakers were browning.

"I have. Have you been well?" Rei asked, her eyes taking in his darkened eyes, his shaking hands and his sickly, pale complexion.

"I could be better." He admitted.

"Please, come inside." Rei stepped aside to allow Shinji entrance.

"Thank you."

"You seem tired. Have you been sleeping well?" She took his coat and laid it across her mess of a bed.

"I've been up late, trying to take care of Asuka. It's difficult though, because…because Asuka is Asuka." He sighed.

"Please have a seat. Your lingering is making me uncomfortable."

"Oh, sorry." His face reddened slightly and he took a seat at her table.

"But are you not tired? You mustn't forget to keep your health. You can not care for Asuka if you are taken ill."

"I'll be fine."

"I've prepared some tea." Shinji looked around the room, eyes darting from one object to another. His palms were sweating as he clenched and unclenched them.

"Thank you." He said as she brought out the tea and set them on the table. He focused on the tea, his eyes darting up to her face every so often.

"How are Major Katsuragi and Pilot Sohryu faring?" Rei asked after a prolonged silence.

"I really don't know how Misato is doing. She spends most of her time at NERV now. I think she tried to take care of me and Asuka, but didn't know how. I worry about her too." Shinji spoke the last part in almost a whisper.

"What causes you to worry?"

"She's begun drinking again. I think she's taken up smoking too." Shinji stared at the tea without drinking. "I…I want to take care of her and Asuka. She's spent so much time taking care of me. I want to do the same for her. But I don't know how. How do I take care of a thirty year old woman and a fifteen year old girl?"

"You care a great deal about them, and that is admirable. However, I don't think you see that you're in the same situation that Major Katsuragi is in. You want to take care of them, but you do not know how." Rei placed her cup down and looked Shinji in the eyes.

"I…I never thought of it like that…maybe I am as dense as Asuka says." Shinji half laughed, but it came out sounding forced and pitiful.

"To answer your question, you do not take care of a thirty year old woman. I believe that Major Katsuragi…loves…you and Sohryuu a great deal. If you want to help her, tell her what you've told me. Tell her that you know she's trying, and that you appreciate her, and care very deeply for her as well. That will mean more to her than if you tried to be her caretaker.

"I can not tell you how to care for Asuka. Never stop trying, though. As long as you continue to try, you'll find a way." Rei picked the tea pot up and poured herself another cup. "But until then, I suggest you finish your tea and take a nap."

"I…I'm not tired." Shinji lied and looked away.

"You're exhausted, and it's telling in your body and health. I insist that you take nap."

"I…I don't want to. I…have nightmares." Shinji kept looking away with shame.

"You are having nightmares? What are your nightmares about?" Rei once again put her cup down and looked at him attentively.

"They're…you…you wouldn't understand."

"Ikari." Rei reminded him.

"They're…" He seemed to choke on the words and he could feel the beginnings of tears.

"Look at me please."

"They're…about Kaworu."

"I see. He was your friend, was he not?"

"He was an angel." Shinji heard his voice crack.

"But he was your friend as well?"

"I…I thought so…but it turned out that he was just another angel."

"So because he was an angel, he ceased to be your friend?"

"He was an angel! A fucking angel! I trusted him…" Shinji could feel hot tears begin to run down his face. "I fucking trusted him…and then he's an angel. He made me kill him."

"But he's still your friend?"

"What kind of fucking friend does that? He lied to me! He…he…he fucking betrayed me!"

"I believe that if you truly hated him for that, you wouldn't feel so bad, or be so upset. If you truly have no current attachments, why should he plague your dreams?"

Shinji's shoulders shook and he forcefully wiped away his tears. His hands were curled up tightly in fists, so that they began to draw blood.

"Angels have no memories, Ikari."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked with an edge.

"You can't remember all the bad things about him. You have to be selective of what you remember about the people you care for. If you remember the bad things, you will be tortured. Forgetting the bad things and remembering the good things is a form of forgiveness. What do you remember about the former Asuka?"

"Uh…I…uh…"

"You do not have to be bashful."

"I…um…her smile."

"What else?"

"I…uh…her walk." Shinji slowly began to look back at Rei.

"What else?"

"Her…her eyes. The way she would look at me." His hands loosened.

"And?"

"Her personality. How…how full of life she was. She was never bummed out for long. She was always upbeat. She was fun to be around, though I don't know how fun I was." A tiny smile formed on his lips and he shrugged.

"She was also arrogant, bratty, verbally and sometimes physically abusive…but you didn't say that. You didn't because you don't mind that side of her. You've forgiven her for all the times that she's insulted you, and all the times that she hurt you. That's what I mean Shinji.

"Kaworu was your friend. Remember him as your friend rather than as an angel. Because despite being an angel, he was still your friend in the end." Rei's head tilted to one side. "Do I make sense?"

"Y…yeah. Yeah…you do."

"I'll pour you some fresh tea. This has probably gotten cold." Rei picked up his cup and took it to the sink to empty. She brought it back, poured him a fresh cup and handed it back. "Then I suggest you take a nap."

Shinji silently drank his tea, his thoughts actively churning. He hadn't noticed Rei clean up the kitchen and prep her bed. When he finished, he placed the cup back on the tray and took it into the kitchen.

"I shall take care of that. You should rest."

"I…I…thank you."

"You are welcome."

"I…I think I'm done standing still." He said and attempted a smile.

"That is good for you." She said and began to clean the tea items.

Shinji climbed into her bed, pulled the sheets up to his chin, closed his eyes and slept.

----------

A little red light blinking on and off on the phone signified an incoming call.

"Hello?" Fuyutsuki put down his pen and leaned back in his chair.

"Mr. Lee is waiting in holding room seven, sir." Asai said from the other end.

"Keep him waiting. I'm not planning on visiting him until later this afternoon. Stay in your office and wait for my call."

"Yes sir."

----------

Ritsuko stood over the pool of orange, her reflection coming back murky and reminding her of her mother. She sighed and looked up at the large mannequin with the mask on its face. The eyes always seemed to be watching.

"Sorry. But it's time to pull the plug on you too." She spoke to the creature before she walked back to retrieve her laptop from the terminal on the far side of the wall. As she left the depths of NERV, she took out her cell phone and dialed a number.

"Iori? I need to schedule a meeting with you and your best engineers as soon as possible. This is top priority. Great. At four then. Have all of them there. Pay them overtime if you have to and call them in if they have the day off. I'll see you then."

----------

"I'm home." Shinji called out as he entered the apartment.

"Welcome home." Misato returned as she walked into the entryway wearing a dark sweater and a pair of jeans. "I'm heading out."

"Where to?" Shinji asked curiously without taking off his shoes or removing his jacket.

"I'm going to get a gift for Asuka." Misato pulled on her shoes.

"Can I come?"

"Sure." Misato smiled. "If you don't mind a long drive. It's kind of out of the way, on the outskirts of the town. We'll pick up dinner on the way. How's that sound?"

"Fine…but where's Asuka? She was gone when I woke up this morning." Shinji looked past Misato to see if she was anywhere in the apartment.

"She hasn't come home yet. I don't know where she is, but if she's not back when we get home I'll call Section-2." She sighed and frowned.

"Hold on. I'll fix her some leftovers and leave her a note." Shinji flipped off his shoes and hurried into the kitchen.

"Well, don't tell her where we're going."

Misato waited patiently by the door as she heard the refrigerator door open and close, the clatter of dishes and utensils, and the opening and closing of drawers. She watched Shinji hurry back into the entryway. He put on his shoes, stood up and smiled a nervous smile.

"Ready."

"Let's go." They left the apartment and walked down the hall to the elevator.

"So what are we getting Asuka?" Shinji asked curiously.

"Something special." Misato winked mischievously.

Shinji was glad to see that she looked in better health. He noticed that it was the first time in a long time that she had probably taken the time to properly put on makeup. The conservative jeans and sweater was very attractive on her, and he found himself looking away with a slight blush.

"What's up?"

"Nothing…um…you look nice." Shinji ventured with another nervous smile.

"Thanks." Misato marveled slightly at his mild display of some boldness.

"What's the gift for?" He changed the subject quickly as they got onto the elevator.

"Christmas. It's a more western holiday. If I had to make a comparison, their Christmas is kind of like our New Year's, on the scale of overall importance."

"You think it might cheer her up?"

"Well…" Misato trailed off. "I hope. I want to take her mind off her mother."

"Is that what's bothering her?" Shinji asked softly.

"Uh…yeah." Misato cursed herself as she saw Shinji looking at the floor in a definitely more depressed mood. "She lost her mother when she was young. Like you. The difference though…is that she doesn't have any good memories of her mother."

"I don't have any memories of my mom at all." He said in a near whisper.

"I'm hoping that a reminder of a familiar holiday will take her mind off things." She winced and looked worriedly at him. "Hey kiddo." She put her hand on his shoulder. "Things will get better."

Shinji only stared at the floor for a moment. Then, to Misato's relief, he picked up and began to nod.

"Yeah." He said, still nodding. "Yeah."

----------

"He's been sweating it out in there for two hours, sir." Asai said as he and Fuyutsuki looked into the blank, metal grey interrogation room from behind a two-way mirror. "Mr. Watanabe and Ms. Takaki have been with him the whole time, for effect."

Watanabe, a very large man with salt and pepper hair and a thick mustache, stood behind the prisoner with a look as hard as granite stamped on his face. Takaki, a shorter middle-aged woman, stood by the door, a pistol in on hand and a cigarillo in the other. A few butts littered the floor and she seemed to stare at the prisoner with a blank, uncaring demeanor. The prisoner sat in a steel chair, behind a steel table in handcuffs and clothed in an obnoxious red jump suit that pained the eyes. He, too, seemed indifferent as he idly stared at the door, slowly drumming his fingers on the table top.

"Let's go." Fuyutsuki finally said.

As they entered the room, the prisoner stopped his drumming and his gaze locked on Fuyutsuki. His look followed the Sub-Commander's every move as he pulled up a chair and sat across from him.

"Hi Rob. It's been a while." Fuyutsuki inwardly cringed as he realized his choice of words. He paused to watch for a reaction and got none. "It's been what? Twelve years?" The stare remained unmoving. "Twelve years is a long time. It goes by so fast, well, maybe not for you. Time must inch by when you're confined to solitary." Fuyutsuki smirked purposefully, seeing if he could draw his old acquaintance offside. "Read any good books while you're down there? It's the only form of entertainment, or at least that's how I understand it." Fuyutsuki matched Robert's glare. "Well, I've never been much for small talk. I'll get right to the point. How would you feel if we offered you your freedom on the condition that you worked for us?"

Robert Lee sniggered.

"I didn't catch that. Was that a yes or no?" Silence. "The lives of the children are at stake. The pilots. Ayanami, Sohryuu and Ikari."

"Fuck you." Robert finally spoke. "You're asking me to help the kid of that fucking maniac that took mine away. I want to laugh, but at the same time I want to reach across this table and break your fucking neck."

Fuyutsuki leaned back and opened his hand expectantly. Asai placed a large folder in his hand which, in turn, was placed in front of Robert.

"What the fuck is that?"

"Take a look."

Robert eye-balled him before hesitantly reaching forward. He flipped the file open without looking at it, and instead continued to glare at Fuyutsuki. His expression changed when he looked down.

"Maggie?" He said softly and his eyes began to dart across the paper. He began to quickly flip pages, his hands trembling. "This better not be a fucking joke. It better not be."

"Yui took care of her after your arrest. Changed her last name and moved her to a girl's boarding school in Seoul. I hear she's quite the athlete, the best goalie in the district." He saw Robert's eyes tear up.

"Yui saved her?"

"Listen," Fuyutsuki leaned in. "We both know that if there's a heaven, we won't be going there. However, we find ourselves in the rare position to right our wrongs. If that's not good enough to get to your conscience then consider this task payback for what Yui did for you."

"If I do this," Robert began shakily, but then paused to take a deep breath. "Then I want to see Maggie."

"You can see her when you're done."

"No. How do I know that she's alive? I want to see her first."

"If there's an issue of trust, it should actually be from my end seeing as how it was you who betrayed us."

"Please, I want two days. I just want to see her. I could die out there and I want to be able to see her."

"There will be no contact. And one of ours will go with you."

"I want to go alone. How can you trust me in the field if you can't trust me for two days?"

A long silence floated in the room, their eyes locked. Takaki's crow feet wrinkled as she threw her cigarillo butt on the floor and ground it out beneath her shoe.

"No contact. Otherwise you'd have nothing to look forward to."

"You trust me?"

"I'll have to." Fuyutsuki stood up and smoothed out his uniform. "Mr. Watanabe, be so kind as to remove his handcuffs. Ms. Takaki, see to his accommodations. Mr. Asai, I entrust you to familiarize him with the staff, the assignment and our current situation. Page me if you need me. I have an important meeting to attend to."

----------

Asuka stepped into the apartment, took off her shoes and walked into the living room without declaring her presence. She streamlined into her bedroom, not bothering to check if anyone was home. She changed out of her clothes and put on an oversized long sleeve shirt and a pair of sweat pants. She crawled into bed and turned her back to the door and waited. After lying in darkness and hearing nothing from the rest of the apartment, she concluded that she was alone. With that, Asuka got out of bed and carefully stepped out of her room in the off chance that Shinji might be silently working away in his room like he had been since the week before.

After she checked his room, she made her way into the kitchen. She found nothing while rummaging around in the fridge, and only took out a can of juice and slammed the door shut. She popped the top of the can and then out of the corner of her eye, she caught site of the plate on the counter and the note.

Asuka read the note after she had started to warm up the food. She was frowning when she finished reading the note, but still placed it carefully back where it had been sitting. She ate while watching a movie on TV. She heard a "wark" next to her and she turned to see Pen-Pen staring curiously at her with a crooked head. She smiled and gave him her leftovers.

When the penguin was done he waddled back to the fridge, leaving her alone again. She sighed, turned off the TV and went back to her bedroom, leaving the plate on the floor.

----------

Fuyutsuki shifted uncomfortably in the Commander's chair at the conference table. The other holograms eyed him critically, the thin one even sneering.

"We don't believe you." The thin one screeched in his thin, reedy voice.

"That's your problem." Fuyutsuki shot back.

"We can make it your problem." The younger one hinted smugly.

"Then what? What if it isn't here? What if Gendo is the only one who knows?" The Councilmen glared at him. "What then?"

"That's none of your concern Professor!" The thin one screeched again.

"As if we would tell you." The burly one scoffed.

"Quiet." Kihl commanded and all eyes turned to him. "All of this is of no consequence. The Professor has already agreed to allow Councilman Nako and his team inspect the premises."

"Then why are we here?" The young one sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"You tell me. You called this meeting."

"You will speak to the Council in a more respectful tone." Kihl remained unmoving. "I called this meeting because I want to know what you are going to do about Ikari."

"We're handling it, trust us."

"That is not acceptable." Kihl spoke deliberately.

"It will have to be." Ritsuko chimed in.

"Quiet woman." The thin one hissed.

"Then if you won't take care of it, we will."

"I have a hand picked agent keeping a close eye on him. If there is any indication of where Gendo might have it, he'll let me know and we'll take care of it." Fuyutsuki spoke slowly. "Besides, what makes you think that he would move it from our base?"

"Ikari has been unpredictable as of late. We can't take any chances. If we move now and he disappears, that would be most inconvenient." The young one eyed the professor as he spoke.

"I guess then we'll have to hope that Councilman Nako's team will be successful in their search." Fuyutsuki said and leaned away deferentially.

"You're doing the right thing, cooperating with us." Kihl spoke after a short moment of silence. "Following through with this is what Yui would have wanted."

Fuyutsuki creased his lips and allowed a slight nod.

"Meeting is dismissed." And the holograms vanished.

"Son of bitch." Fuyutsuki cursed at the emptiness. "Don't pretend like you knew Yui."

----------

Misato and Shinji stood back and admired their work. They had gotten home about an hour before. Shinji had entered first as Misato stood just outside the front door, holding the surprise still. After he had made sure that Asuka was in bed and asleep, he gave her the clear and helped her bring it into the apartment. They spent a good while trying to position it in the living room, and ended up putting in the corner near the balcony door.

"You think she'll like it?" Misato asked.

"Yeah, I think so." He responded, a slight smile on his face. "I'm going to take a shower, finish up some of my missed assignments then I'm going to go to bed."

"Sounds like a plan." Misato smiled as she gazed fondly at his renewed energy.

"Do you want me to make you something real fast?" He offered.

"Nah, that's okay. I'll find something microwaveable in the fridge." She said and waved him off.

"All right." He shrugged and a few moments later, the muffled sound of the shower could be heard from behind the bathroom door.

Misato admired her fine pick for a few minutes longer before turning and heading back to her bedroom. She changed back into her cutoff tank top and jeans and half attempted to pick up the dirty laundry around her room. She ended up placing it all in a crumpled heap next to the dresser. As she walked down the hall back toward the living room and the kitchen, she found herself drawn to Asuka's room. She stopped and slowly opened the door, careful not to make too much noise. It seemed that Asuka had made it habit to sleep with her back to the door. She half wanted to wake her up that very minute so she could show her the gift. She resisted, figuring that it would be a better surprise if Asuka woke up to it on her own.

"Don't look…" Asuka whimpered and began to shake.

Misato curiously made her way into the room. As she neared, she noticed that Asuka was sobbing softly. She reached forward to see if she were awake, but hesitated and then drew back. She closed the door after slowly backing out of the room. She rested her head against Asuka's door and closed her eyes. The sounds of the shower droned in the background. The squeaking of the shower being turned off snapped her out of her state. With one last look and a sigh, she left Asuka's doorway and went back into the kitchen. She opened the freezer and took out a microwaveable dinner. As it slowly warmed up, she opened the fridge to get herself something to drink. She picked out an iced coffee but stopped as a different can stared back at her.

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and then shut the fridge door. She placed the coffee on the countertop and tended to the beeping kitchen appliance. She rotated the dish ninety degrees and then set the time for another two minutes. She leaned on the counter and looked at the gift. She began to chew on her lower lip. Only seconds passed before she went back to fridge and grabbed the can of beer. She turned around and came face to face with her charge.

Shinji's dark blue eyes seemed to see through her. He looked at the can of beer and Misato could feel herself going red in the face. He slowly reached forward and took the can from her hand. It opened with a pop and a fizz. It made a hollow sound as it flowed down into the black drain.

"I know it's hard." He said and turned to face her. "I know you're trying." He frowned as he saw that she wasn't looking at him. "Please don't stop trying." He wrapped his arms around her and held on lightly, his cheek barely resting against her breast.

Misato returned the hug lightly, and then slowly tightened until he was pressed firmly against her. She sniffed and blinked back the emotions that threatened to show. His damp hair was cold against her face. She planted a soft kiss on the top of his head.

"I won't kiddo. I'd never do that."

----------

Minister Matsudaira's eyes ran over the page again.

"How did it ever come to this?" He asked softly. "If we go with Fuyutsuki, we're through. If we go with SEELE, we're through."

"But if we go with SEELE, we're definitely dead." Kenji said from the doorway of the dimly lit office.

"That's if NERV is telling us the truth." Matsudaira asked as he turned to his office window, overlooking the bay. "Is it happening today?"

"General Takeda's division is spread out around the outskirts of Tokyo-3. They're trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, though I don't see how they thought they could've gone unnoticed." The young aide stepped up behind Matsudaira. "Takeda's been suppressing the media. The newspapers are all sitting on stories of NERV's treason. I spoke to General Uesugi and he's received no reports on any allegations against NERV whatsoever. Nako, Takeda, Takashita…they lied to us."

"You read the report. NERV is no better." Matsudaira growled. "They assassinated Kaji. They've lied to us too."

"NERV has come clean." Kenji pressed on.

"That's what you say. They might just want us to save their asses."

"If that were so, then why would Nako and Takeda lie to us about their intentions? Why not hand it over to us?"

"They both have something to lose." Matsudaira squinted the first rays of sunlight broke over the bay. Long shadows from the tops of buildings played over the glassy water.

"The Land of the Rising Sun." Kenji said softly. "We're running out of time."

"Maybe…" Matsudaira breathed in. "Maybe…they'll wipe each other out."

"There's always a victor." Kenji smiled and stepped up close. "But if we let them win, we can make it so that we come out on top. There must be something that Takeda and Takashita can tell us about Fuyutsuki and NERV. So we give them what they want, then burn them after."

"But then we would've broken our deal." Matsudaira said in an almost whining voice.

"Who's going to care? You'll be a hero."

"I…don't know."

----------

Asuka's eyes opened wide. The collar around her shirt was damp and she hurt all over. She took a deep breath, the smells from her dream still lingered. She got up and ran her hands through her hair. Six in the morning. She grabbed some warm clothes from her dresser and staggered out into the hall, and then to the bathroom. The shower did little to wake her up, nor did it make her feel any better. Hair still damp, she began to make her way to the kitchen to get some breakfast, and maybe head out someplace for the day before her two roommates woke up.

When she got into the living room, she froze. There, in the far corner of living room, near the balcony door was a Christmas tree. The fresh pine smell mixed with tree sap, dark green, prickly leaves on every branch. Her lip quivering, she looked instinctively toward the front door. Nothing. She looked back at the tree and took one shaky step forward. Her eyes still darting toward the front door, she took another step forward, and then another. When she was finally near the tree, she reached up and plucked one of the leaves from a branch. She broke the leaf in half, and held the broken ends toward her nose. The smell overpowered everything else and she closed her eyes. She turned and went back to her room. She climbed back into bed and pulled the sheets up to her chin.

----------

"Sir, what's going on?" Major Asano asked as he stepped up beside his commanding officer. "NERV is supposed to be on our side, right?"

General Takeda took a large puff of his cigar and blew to smoke in the young officer's general direction. He scowled and turned away to look down on a city, slowly rebuilding. From the hill top he gazed with sneer on his face upon the buildings that rose up from the ground. Snow fell lightly around the base camp as heavily clothed soldiers moved back and forth between the LAV-Ls and the communication stations.

"Sir?" Asano asked again as his eyes shifted erratically from his commander to the city.

"Get back to your post." Takeda growled out. The snow crunched noisily as he listened to the young officer nervously return to his spot at the command area. His eyes moved away from the city and toward the roads to Rome. They were lined with LAV-25s and LAV-ATs, waiting to move on his command. And on the outskirts of the city, lay unseen soldiers, also ready to move on a moments notice.

"Sir, Minister Nako is going in." Asano called out from the LAV-C2.

"Tell all units to stand by."

----------

"Defense Minister Nako, we are honored by your visit." Fuyutsuki said from behind the great desk.

"Cut the bull shit Fuyutsuki, you know why I'm here." The graying Councilman Nako barked from behind his walrus mustache.

Fuyutsuki smirked and leaned forward on his elbows, allowing his fingers to intertwine and hide his smug expression. Asai stood in the spot beside him that was usually reserved for Ritsuko. On either side of the seated Nako were the intimidating Watanabe, and the statuesque Takaki who slowly puffed on her cigarillo.

----------

"Dr. Akagi, everything has been wired. We're ready to go." Head Engineer Iori chewed on his pen as he joined Ritsuko in staring at the white giant that loomed before them. The other engineers were clearing out of the chamber and moving quickly to the safe zone down the hall. "Just to let you know…I've never done something like this before. N2 weaponry has been used against these things and done next to nothing. This thing…won't become a threat…will it?"

"It's been dormant for as long as I can remember." She said softly. "My main concern is: Will anybody be able to get in here afterwards?"

"Oh hell no." Iori sniggered and shifted uncomfortably. "This place is gonna crumble. But I can almost guarantee that the shock will take out our primary power source. It'll take a little while to get it back on line. We could be running on emergency power for up to…oh…an hour, maybe two."

"That's fine. Let's lock the main blast door and get this over with."

----------

Shinji sighed and crumpled up the piece of paper in front of him. After brushing it aside, he hit the top of his mechanical pencil a couple times and started over. When the lines and letters began to blur, he stopped and rubbed his eyes. After stretching and getting the kinks out of his back, he checked his watch. He got up from the cafeteria table and went to the meal counter and ordered a couple of cups of instant ramen. He took both back to the table and after eating some, he started back in on his writing.

"I thought you were done standing still." Rei said and sat across from him.

"I got you some ramen." Shinji said and pushed the second cup towards her.

"Thank you." She cracked open a pair of ohashi and began eating.

"Will you not visit Suzuhara with Horaki and Aida?" She asked after a little while.

"I…" Shinji paused without looking up. "I'm still a little uncomfortable."

"What are you writing that is so important?"

"Oh! I'm sorry. How rude of me. It's just…" Shinji blushed and closed his notebook.

"You misunderstand. I am merely curious as to what you have been devoting so much time to."

"It's…nothing." He said and pushed his notebook away.

"That's a lot of time to spend on nothing."

"I guess so." Shinji started back in on his ramen.

"May I read it?" Rei asked as she finished her ramen.

"Go ahead. It's not done." Rei took the notebook and opened it up. "How have you been?"

"I've been well. How have you been?"

"Could be better I guess." Shinji shrugged.

"Well, you look healthier."

"I've been sleeping better."

"That is good." There was a brief silence and Shinji finished his meal. "This is for Sohryuu?"

"Yeah." Shinji said and pushed the empty Styrofoam cup away. "I'm having a hard time writing it though. I never know what to say, and then I read it over and I think it sounds stupid so I throw it away and I start again." Rei nodded.

"Have you started on the backup assignments yet?"

"Wha…er…no." Shinji looked surprised. "I've forgotten about that."

"The due date that the teacher has assigned is very soon. You should start, or you will fail."

"Yeah, I guess so." Shinji took his notebook back.

"On that topic though, I have been having some trouble with literature and art. I was going to ask you if you were having the same troubles."

"Actually, I usually do well on those…well…relatively well, considering my other classes. I hate math and science though."

"I find math and science simple. Maybe we can work together on this?"

"Sure…" Shinji smiled. "Sounds like a plan."

----------

"I'm ready when you are Minister Nako." Fuyutsuki said and stood up.

"Good. I'm on a time frame…" As Nako began to get up from his chair, he was roughly shoved back down by Watanabe. "What are…" He didn't get to finish his protest as Takaki plunged a syringe into his neck and injected its contents. Nako's eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he went limp.

"Mr. Watanabe, if you please. As he said, we're on a time frame."

----------

"Hey Asuka." Misato knocked on her charge's door. "You awake?"

"Yes." Came the empty reply.

"I got a couple of movie tickets." Misato opened the door and put on a smile. "Shinji went to take Hikari and Kensuke to see Toji in the hospital. I have the day off so it's just you and me."

"Great." Asuka said as she lay on her bed, back facing the door.

"I thought we might go see a movie and get some lunch…or something."

"I don't feel like doing anything today, sorry."

"All right, I'm no longer asking. You're forcing me to do this Asuka. Let's go." Misato yanked the sheets off the girl and flung them to the floor. "Come on. We're going out and we're gonna have a good time."

Asuka groaned and twitched.

----------

General Takeda checked his watch. He grunted and once again fixed his gaze upon the city before him.

"Major Asano!" He barked out.

"Sir!" The young officer replied from his post.

"Tell all units to ready for assault."

----------

Fuyutsuki watched the scene in front of him from behind a two way mirror. He saw Defense Minister Nako groan softly and slowly lift his head. His eyelids flickered and he slowly opened them. He was bound in a chair, tied down tightly, hands wrenched behind his back, blood dripping from the ropes digging into his wrists. Fuyutsuki watched as Nako's eyes slowly opened and saw through his now mottled hair a few feet in front of him, the sharp Asai staring at him, a smirk upon his face. He watched as the Defense Minister broke out into a sweat, right before his eyes. It happened slowly, starting off with little beads dotting his forehead. Then the beads dotted his cheeks as he tried to keep track of Asai, who slowly circled the helpless man like a jackal looking at an injured animal. On the fifth pass, the beads slowly began to travel down his glistening cheeks, following the jaw line to the point of his chin where it fell onto his lap.

"Defense Minister Nako." Asai began and stopped in front of him.

----------

"All units are ready to move!" Asano called from the LAV-C2. The camp roared to life as the vehicles were readied.

"Tell the demolition team to get into place. We're gonna knock out their power first." Takeda growled out from his vantage point.

----------

"You're dead. You're all fucking dead!" Nako screamed out.

"Lower your voice please. If you continue to raise your voice, I'm going to have to ask Mr. Watanabe to keep you quiet." Asai gave a hand gesture for him to lower his voice.

"You better let me go or you're dead." Nako continued, trying to keep his voice even. He looked into Takaki's emotionless eyes, veiled behind the thick cigarillo smoke. "You're dead." His voice trembled.

"Now this is how it's going to be." Asai kneeled down so that he was at eye level. "I'm going to ask you questions and you're going to answer them, truthfully. If I think that you're lying, Mr. Watanabe is going to go to work on you."

Watanabe stood behind the helpless Nako, his coat and tie off and his white dress shirt sleeves rolled up to his biceps. He looked down on the Defense Minister like he was a cockroach.

"I just want you to know that you're dead." Nako said again in a meek voice.

Asai nodded, and a loud thump echoed through the room as Watanabe delivered a blow to the Minister's side. Asai stared unflinching as Nako cried out.

"Just tell me when you're ready. But do be quick about it." Asai checked his watch.

"Oh God…General Takeda's army is in the city. If he doesn't hear from me by ten on the dot and not a second after, they're going to storm this place and end you." Nako gasped.

"They're not coming for you." Asai said simply. "So you might as well start talking now."

"They are coming. You can't scare me. You don't have the power. You only have one Eva…" Nako gave out another cry as Watanabe administered another rib crunching hit.

"The longer you wait the more painful this becomes." Asai said calmly.

"Even if they weren't coming…" Nako said and gritted his teeth. "You can't let me live after this. I'm going to die anyway."

"Defense Minister Nako…" Asai laughed. "Don't you see? This isn't about how long you'll live. This is about how slow you'll die."

"They'll come for me." Nako rasped out.

"What time did you say? Ten? Well…it's nine fifty-seven and forty by my watch. We'll see."

----------

Takeda's eyes no longer rested on the city. His eyes rested upon his watch. The digital numbers slowly counting…counting…his watch began beeping. Ten.

"Asano! Order the demolition team to detonate charges! All units, move out!"

----------

Makoto sighed as his screen flashed game over. He leaned back in his chair and stretched out. He looked over and saw Shigeru with his feet kicked up on his desk, face hidden behind a magazine. Maya was nearby, daintily eating a sandwich. Makoto shook his head and leaned forward to start another game when the entire command center shook like an earthquake hit.

"What the fuck?" Shigeru cried out as he fell over backwards.

"Wha?" Makoto heard Maya give out a scream as he saw his computer screen go black just a few minutes before the lights went out. The shaking stopped, and then the red emergency lights went on.

"What…what the hell is going on?" Makoto asked shakily.

----------

Shinji and Rei looked up curiously as the lights in the cafeteria flickered for a few minutes.

----------

Asai stood, unfazed as the lights in the room flickered momentarily before returning to normal.

Nako smiled but then he saw Asai continue to stare back, features frozen. His smile began to fade.

----------

"Asano! Order the demolition team to detonate charges! All units, move out!"

"Uh…sir…" Takeda heard the crunches of footsteps approaching.

"What!" He turned around and barked.

"Sir…Mr. Kenji Shioiri…" The young officer led a pale thin man to the General.

"What do you want? I have an operation to run." Takeda snarled and stepped forward menacingly.

"No you don't. I represent the Ministry of the Interior and you are under arrest. You are charged with high treason. Major Asano, relieve the General of his weapon please." The young officer stepped forward and ripped Takeda's gun from its holster.

"You…" Was all Takeda managed to say.

"Major Asano, get everyone out of here. Wrap it up. Let's go."

-----------

"Shit…that was some fucking blast. Everyone all right!" Engineer Iori stood up and called out. The rest of the engineering crew were slowly standing, dusting themselves off and removing their ear plugs.

"So, this is it." Ritsuko said as she stood up and gazed at the thick cloud of dust in front of her.

----------

"Tha…" Defense Minister Nako's bloodied and mangled lips formed a blood bubble. He began to cough and he spat a wad of viscous blood on the floor, a thin ropey strand connecting it to his mouth for a short while before dropping away. "Tha's awl I focking know, I shwear to gawd." He sobbed pitifully.

Takaki stood by the door, cigarillo between her lips as she reviewed the information on the clipboard. After a few minutes she looked at Asai and nodded.

Asai seemed to be waiting for it as he nodded to himself and pursed his lips. He looked up sharply and made eye contact with Watanabe whose hands were covered in blood, knuckles battered and the front of his shirt stained.

"All right. Ms. Takaki has checked everything, and it looks like its good." Asai assessed the damage.

Several large purple bulges on Nako's face, almost a nasty black because of the blood. One eye was swollen shut and one ear was missing. His nose bent at strange angle, and an almost comic whistling sound could be heard as he tried to breathe. It didn't look like he could close his mouth; blood trickled down his chin and stained his pants making it look like he had been pissing blood…maybe he had been pissing blood, it was almost impossible to tell.

Takaki offered Asai the cigarillo.

"Unfortunately we can't let you go just yet. I am under orders to find out everything there is to know, and I will carry this out to the best of my abilities. This means that now that you're done willingly telling us information, I will go to work on you to loosen up anything that you might've forgotten." He heard Nako whimper as watched as he struggled weakly against his bindings. "Oh don't worry. By the time I'm done with you, I'll be absolutely certain about what you know and don't know."

Watanabe grabbed a hold of Nako's head and held it at an angle as Asai blew the ash off the tip of the cigarillo, exposing the red, searing cherry. Then it was lowered…lowered…lowered toward the Defense Minister's remaining eye…and then the tortured man closed his eye and began to scream.

-----------

"Aww, no way! Katsu is my favorite!" Toji exclaimed as he saw the contents of the bento. "You're awesome Hikari!"

"Oh it's nothing." The class representative laughed and turned away, slightly embarrassed.

"No really, you're a really good cook. That or I've been eating hospital food so long I can't tell the difference anymore." Aiko Suzuhara said from her bed.

"Aiko, that's rude!" Toji said quickly, some rice escaping his mouth and falling to the hospital bed sheets.

"No, I was making a joke. That's rude!" She shot back pointing to his efforts of trying to speak whilst eating.

"She's kicking your ass man, you gonna take that from her?" Kensuke punched his friend's shoulder.

"No! I'm gonna…finish my meal first." Toji paused to turn red before he returned his focus to his food.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Aiko muttered irritably before returning to her lunch.

"Shut up! I still have one leg to kick your ass with!"

"Go ahead and try it, unicycle!"

"You little…"

"Aiko! Did you…uh…figure out what you wanted for Christmas and New Years yet?" Hikari asked looking awkward as she tried her best to break up the fight.

"Yeah! I want to get out of this bed!" The young girl sighed and slumped forward. "It's been snowing outside for two weeks. It's never snowed before. I want to know what its like. But the stupid doctors won't let me out of this stupid bed! They said I need to stay here for a while longer because…something about my spine…its stupid! I feel fine!" She balled her hands into fists and slammed them into the bed for emphasis.

"Yeah, right. Every time you to physical rehab, you come back in tears. What's up with that?" Toji interjected, brow furrowed. "You have to listen to the doctors."

"Doesn't mean that I can't go outside!" She humphed, crossed her arms and turned to look out the window.

"Well, maybe I can get Shinji to talk to the doctors, or maybe even Doctor Akagi. I'm sure he could work something out." Hikari suggested and smiled.

"Hey man, how come Shinji hasn't come to see me?" Toji asked, worry evident on his face.

"Oh! He's uh…uh…been busy. He's missed a lot of school work. You should've seen the size of his backup assignment folder. Every time he brings us here, he goes to the cafeteria to work on his assignments…" Hikari rattled off, her face reddening considerably.

"He could come by to say hi." Toji looked absently at his food, idly fingering the ohashi. "You know I'm not smart, but I'm not dumb." He said after a long silence.

"He's being a dumb shit, man." Kensuke said and stood up. "I haven't had too many chances to talk to him, and he's usually weird about bringing us here. But I think he thinks it's his fault you got hurt."

"Probably because you beat him up when he accidentally hurt me, you big dummy!" Aiko glared at her older brother.

"Well, dammit, tell him that I don't think that." Toji looked up at his friend irritably. "He should know already that I wouldn't hold that against him. Shit. It's not like it's his fault that I was in the angel. Shit."

"A lot of people have been telling that to him I think. But you know how he is." Kensuke sighed and sat back down.

"He thinks he needs to carry the world on his shoulders." Hikari added sadly.

"Next time you see him, haul his ass in here. Force him. I'll thump some sense into him." Toji grumbled.

"Yeah, I'll try man."

----------

"Face yourself Shinji. Go in." Rei said softly.

"I…I can't. Not yet. I will…eventually I will…just not today." Shinji sighed and looked away from the visiting scene that he had been observing through the window in the hospital door. "Could you do me a favor?"

"What would you ask of me?"

"When they're done…could you make sure they are escorted out all right?"

"Of course."

"Thanks. I'm going to go have a talk with Aiko's doctor. When you're done, I'll be back in the cafeteria. Why don't you come over for dinner tonight? We can work on our assignments after." Shinji half smiled.

"I look forward to that. I shall meet you in the cafeteria then."

----------

The water ran red as Watanabe washed his hands in the basin, slowly scrubbing with a bar of soap, the entire front of his shirt red. Takaki, Asai, Fuyutsuki and Robert Lee sat around a table, all the gathered information before them.

"This is everything, sir. Matsudaira wants to set up a meeting. He's saying that me, you, Ms. Takaki and Dr. Akagi should be in attendance. It's going to be a sort of planning session. He, Mr. Shioiri, Gen. Uesugi, and Maj. Asano are representing his side. He wishes this to be a joint effort." Asai said from his seat.

"Yeah? Wish in one hand, shit in the other…" Lee said and trailed off.

"When and where does he want the meeting?" Fuyutsuki sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Matsudaira's a dickhead. He's a weak, whiny little shit and he'll only impede our mission." Lee sniggered.

"Fortunately, those attributes will be working in our favor. So when and where?"

"Well, he'd like to meet as soon as midnight tonight." Asai said and the room fell silent.

Takaki doused her cigarillo in the ash tray.

"Fine. Schedule it for tonight." Fuyutsuki leaned back and stretched, looking over as there was a sharp rapping on the door.

Watanabe wiped his hands off leaving the hand towel red and opened to door to reveal a disheveled Doctor Akagi.

"I brought you your shoe box." She grumbled and tossed it on the table on top of the mess of papers.

"All right, dismissed all of you. Robert, I'll see you in my office in about an hour."

"Right." The four filed silently out of the room leaving two old friends facing each other.

"This room smells like shit." Ritsuko said and wrinkled her nose.

"It's Ms. Takaki's cigarillos. I think the smell is clinging to my uniform cause I'm beginning to smell it everywhere I go." The two shared a chuckle. "I take it the demolition went well?"

"Well enough, I suppose." Ritsuko rested her chin on her arms as she leaned on the table.

"You might want to tell Iori that his expertise will be needed again real soon, in a possible high risk combat environment." Fuyutsuki pushed some of the papers in Ritsuko's general direction.

"Nine of them? Oh Jesus." Ritsuko groaned and buried her face.

"We don't need to take out all nine of them though. All we need is one. Anything short of nine and they can't execute their plan. They've got four of them all in one place…Beijing. And guess who's there looking after them? Two birds with one stone." Fuyutsuki breathed heavily and stood up.

"You make it sound easy. Have you ever tried to hit two birds with one stone?" Ritsuko stood up with him, exhaustion evident in her posture.

"Go home and get some sleep." Fuyutsuki gathered up all the papers, stuffing them under one arm before picking the beaten up old shoebox. "We have a meeting at midnight tonight with the ass."

"Aw, shit."

"Get some sleep. I'll leave you a message on your answering machine about the place for the meeting."

"All right, I'll see you then."

----------

The incessant scratching on pencil on paper could be heard throughout the empty cafeteria. The table at which Shinji sat was cluttered with crumpled pieces of paper. After a few minutes he paused, looked at what he had written, growled and ripped the page out. He began again on the blank page in front of him.

"Working hard?" Shinji looked up sharply.

"Oh. Commander Fuyutsuki. I didn't see you standing there, sorry." He turned back to his notebook.

"Your mother was the same way." The older man took a seat across from him, sitting the shoebox on the table.

"Huh?"

"She was a perfectionist of sorts. She could rewrite a paper a hundred times and she could still find something to fix. I tried to teach her that there is no such thing as perfection, and in fact the only perfect thing still had one flaw. It's a state of mind." He tapped the side of his head, smirking. "Or a philosophy rather."

"You knew…my mother well?"

"She was my student. Very bright. Very ambitious. Very pretty. I mentored her as she worked on her thesis. Bio-engineering."

"Sounds like fun." Shinji said without looking up.

"Yeah." Fuyutsuki began kneading his hands. "I know you don't remember much about her, but she loved you very much." He waited for a reaction and got none. "Your father wanted you to have this." He pushed the shoebox toward Shinji.

"Did…" Shinji stopped writing but still wouldn't look up. "Did he say anything else?"

"No." Fuyutsuki laughed softly.

"Of course not." Shinji looked up and gave him a tired smile. "Thank you."

"Not a problem at all. Listen, I have to get going. But…if you want to know more about your mother, or anything like that, just drop on by."

"Thank you. I'll take you up on that sometime." Shinji listened until the sound of the footsteps disappeared entirely.

He started writing, but his eyes began to drift from the paper to the shoebox. After a while he stopped and just stared at the box. The lid was torn at the corners, brown stains on the box itself. Then he opened it. He reached in and pulled out a single photo. His eyes lit up and his jaw dropped open. His hands began to tremble and his breathing became uneven. Tears rolled down his cheeks. He put the picture down and wiped his eyes sniffling.

"Shinji?" A voice asked softly from behind him. "Is…that…" Rei reached down and delicately picked up the picture.

"Yeah. It is."

"She's…beautiful."

"Yes. She is." Then a smile slowly crept on to his face.

----------

"I'm home." Misato said and kicked off her shoes. She heard nothing from Asuka as the young girl quietly removed her shoes and neatly placed them to the side. "Shinji must not be home yet." She watched Asuka take off her jacket and hang it up in the coat closet. "Hey…I'll cook dinner then! Don't worry, it won't be anything I can screw up. Frozen pizza?" Misato forced a smile past her pained expression.

"Sure, whatever." Asuka said and walked slowly to her room.

Misato creased her lips and went to her room to change into her cutoff jeans and a loose shirt. She determinedly walked back into the kitchen, opened up the freezer and took out the frozen pizza. She placed it on the counter and started pre-heating the oven. After taking a few seconds to scan the instructions, she walked over to Asuka's room and knocked on the door.

"Hey. Dinner's gonna be done in about twenty-five minutes. Cool?"

"Yeah, whatever. Just call me when it's done." The exasperated reply came through the door.

Misato took a few steps back, surprise on her face. It changed quickly to one of anger and she went back to the kitchen. She opened the fridge and grabbed a can of beer…and stopped. After a little while, she shoved the beer back into the fridge and the closed the fridge. She stood staring at the fridge, her hands balled into fists, gritting her teeth. When the oven beeped, she slammed her fist into the fridge door.

"Wark?" She looked down to see that she had disturbed Pen-Pen and he stood below looking up at her curiously.

"Sorry." She said and sighed, then placed the pizza in the oven. Once she set the timer, she fed Pen-Pen then went into the living room where she collapsed on the couch. There she lay, arm across her eyes as if to shield them.

When the oven beeped signifying that the pizza was done, she got up and tiredly shuffled her way over the oven. After taking the pizza out she got out a couple plates and a couple cans of soda. After setting the table and cutting the pizza, she hesitantly looked toward Asuka's room. After taking a deep breath, she walked over and knocked.

"Dinner's ready, Asuka." She said and waited. Nothing. She sighed and was about to turn and walk away to another dinner for one when the door slid open and her young charge brushed past her, eyes to floor. Misato breathed a heavy sigh of relief and followed Asuka to the table.

"So, how'd you like the movie?" She asked, continuing her efforts to cheer up Asuka.

"I dunno." She replied and bit into her slice.

"The performances weren't the best, but then again what can you expect from some action flick?" The laugh died in her throat.

"Yeah." Misato took a deep breath and popped her neck.

"How do you like the tree?"

"It's all right."

"I thought you'd like it. Christmas isn't too big here, I mean, New Year's is a bigger deal, but I thought you might like it. We could decorate it, buy some ornaments and…yeah." Misato studied the girl for a reaction and got none. "So…hey! Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki ordered a synch test soon. You'll finally be able to get back into the groove of things. You've all been out of practice, so it should be cool. Huh?"

"What's the fucking point?" Asuka whispered.

"Excuse me?"

"Shinji destroyed the last one, so what's the fucking point? There's nothing left for me to do. Besides, even if there were other angels to fight, Shinji's been handling them well all on his own. Don't need me anymore."

"That's not true. We need all of you."

"Yeah, whatever." Asuka picked up her dishes and dumped it in the sink.

"Hey, even if. It's not like that's all you can do. You're a talented girl, you're intelligent, you've graduated college you can do anything you want with your life. Eva isn't the only thing…"

"Oh knock it off." Asuka filled her glass with water and started back toward her room.

"Hey, hold on." Misato stood up and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't fucking touch me!" Asuka yelled used her free hand to slap Misato's away, whirling on her guardian teeth bared and eyes flaming. "Don't you ever fucking touch me! Not you, not Shinji, not fucking Wonder Girl, Hikari or whoever the fuck else! Just fuck off!"

"Watch yourself! I'm still…" She tried to take a stern tone but was obviously afraid.

"You're nothing! You're a drunk military lackey! Stop trying to be my fucking mother! You're not her and you can never be her! So stop fucking acting like it you alcoholic…bitch!" Asuka screamed at the top of her lungs and threw the glass of water against the fridge, the fragile glass breaking into what seemed like hundreds of pieces. "Fuck you! Fuck Eva! Fuck NERV and fuck this stupid fucking tree! I fucking hate it!" She grabbed the tree and yanked to forward so that it fell to the floor with a thick thud, the water from the stand flowing across the floor. "I hate this fucking place! I hate Shinji! I hate you!" In a blink of an eye, the girl was gone, the door to her bedroom banging shut behind her.

Misato stood frozen, lip quivering.

----------

"I'm home!" Shinji said and kicked off his shoes and put down his shoe box and shopping bag. "Rei's visiting! I was going to make dinner and then we were going to do our assignments!"

"Shinji!" Misato called from inside the house. "Shinji! Shinji! Shinji! Come here!"

"Misato!" Shinji rushed in panic. "What's wrong?" He froze as he saw the scene before him.

"I…I fucked up…" The water and glass all over the kitchen floor, Pen-Pen with his head poking out of his home because he didn't want to step on the broken glass. "I…know I'm not s-supposed to drink…but…but I couldn't help it…" The tree on the floor, the water from the stand slowly trickling making the apartment smell like a mixture of sap and pine. "I fucked up big time…I sh-shouldn't have…shouldn't have said anything…but I thought I could help! I r-really did. I didn't mean to…I d-didn't want to. Shinji…oh Shinji…" Misato sprawled out on the couch, an empty bottle of liquor on the floor next to the couch and a fresh bottle in her hand. "Oh Shinji…I-I'm so so sorry. I broke my p-promise…didn't I? I said I wouldn't drink…I s-said I wouldn't, but look at…l-look at it." Half dried trails of tears on her face. "Y-you must think I-I'm…so disgusting."

"No…oh no…no, no, no." Shinji slowly walked toward her. "No, of course not."

"Are…aren't you mad? I-I broke my promise."

"No, I'm not mad. A little…disappointed maybe, but not mad." Shinji was oddly calm. "Are you hurt? Is Asuka hurt?"

"No…no…well…Asuka…I don't know. I-I promise I didn't drink that much! I didn't…only a l-little. I swear." Misato tried to sit up but groaned and slumped back down.

"Don't move so quickly. Are you sure you're all right? Rei, check on Asuka please." Shinji kneeled down next to her, pushing the empty bottle away. "Here…let me have that. You've had too much already."

"I-I know…I lied…I had an entire bottle." Misato giggled. "I'm s-sorry. I…I know…I shouldn't have. Please…d-don't hate me." She looked as if she were again on the verge of crying.

"I don't hate you. I couldn't do that. Let me have that."

"You…you shouldn't drink though…you're…you're…too…too young." She resisted, trying to pull the bottle back.

"I'm not going to drink. I'm going to pour this down the sink." He finally pried it away from her.

"W-what a…waste." She groaned and covered her face.

"Sohryuu is sleeping. It seemed as if she came to no harm. I could not see any blood or scratches." Rei said from behind him.

"Thanks a lot Rei. I'm sorry to have to ask you, but do you think you could help me lift Misato?"

"Of course."

"I'll lift her up, you get her left side, I'll get her right. Come on Misato, we're going to help you to bed. You need to rest." Shinji grunted and he slowly hoisted Misato into a sitting position.

"My fuckin' headache."

"Ready Rei?"

"Yes."

"Misato. We're going to help you walk to your room, but we can't carry you. You're going to have to try and walk. Okay?" Shinji adjusted her arm around his shoulders.

"That tickles!"

"Misato. Are you ready?"

"Yeah. Let's go." Misato giggled and then groaned as Shinji and Rei lifted.

"Come on, this way." Shinji said, strained. It was a struggle to keep her up and steady. "Come on."

When he finally managed to get her into her room and onto her futon, he was aching.

"Oh shit…my head." Misato again covered her face.

"Here…if you need to throw up, use this." Shinji placed the trash can right next to her. As he was drawing away, she grabbed a hold of his wrist.

"Shinji…I-I know I'm not your mother but…but…I love you. Both of you. A lot." She said in a pleading voice.

"I know. I love you too Misato." Shinji smiled and covered her with her comforter.

"Give me a hug." She beckoned and Shinji leaned in only to find himself in an almost suffocating bear hug.

"You two are like my own kids." She said, sounding as if she were on the verge of crying again. "I-It kills me that you guys…are so fucked up. I mean…I mean…you're only kids. It…shouldn't be…"

"Shh…go to sleep." He pried himself from her hug. "Try to sleep on your side or on your front. I'll see you in the morning."

There was no other sound as he turned off the light and closed her bedroom door.

"I'm really…um…really sorry about all this. It's really not like this all the time…" Shinji rubbed his arm nervously.

"It's no trouble at all. I realize how it must be." Rei said, unflinchingly.

"I guess…I guess we won't be able to study or do our work. I'll call you a cab." Shinji started back toward the living room.

"I'll help clean."

"Huh? No! No…you don't have to…"

"I know I don't have to."

"This isn't your mess, I mean…"

"I wish to help." Shinji shifted uncomfortably under her stare. "It would also do to have two of us around to periodically check on Major Katsuragi and Sohryuu."

"Well…thank you. I'll find a way to repay you."

"Compensation is unnecessary. We are friends are we not?" Rei walked by him into the kitchen and began to pick up the shards of glass.

"Wait! You could cut yourself…um…let me find some stuff…" Shinji disappeared for a while and came back with a trash can, a towel, a duster and a dust pan.

After a while of hard work, the two managed to clean up the broken glass in the kitchen and get the tree upright again. Shinji took out the trash and upon his return, opened up the shoe box he had received and reached inside, pulling out a worn out old angel ornament. He carefully placed it on the tree and stepped back to admire the only ornament that hung from its lush branches.

"It's very beautiful." Rei commented in her usual soft tone from beside him.

Shinji smiled and just observed the tree and the steadily falling snow outside, slowly blanketing the balcony in white. After checking on both Misato and Asuka, he went through the shopping bag and pulled out the makings of dinner. Frozen ramen, char siu, green onion, eggs and kamaboko. He also pulled out several picture frames, most of them magnetic, but one on a regular stand. He took the photo out of the shoe box and placed it in the stand up frame and then placed it on the desk in his room.

When he returned to the kitchen, he found Rei had started on dinner, boiling a couple of the eggs in a small pot of water while bringing a larger pot to a boil. Without a word, Shinji stood by her at the cutting board and sliced the char siu and kamaboko while Rei chopped the green onions. When the water reached a boil, Rei began to cook the ramen while Shinji pulled down the clean dishes and utensils. After adding the dashi to the ramen, she portioned out two servings as Shinji shelled the hardboiled eggs and cut them into halves.

"Thanks a bunch Rei. I'll fix the rest of it, you can have a seat." Shinji smiled at her and she smiled back before taking going to the table. Shinji stood amazed for a moment before he did up the ramen as if it were a restaurant dish. Eggs in both, green onions, kamaboko in Rei's and char siu in his. He brought both bowls to the table.

"Thank you very much." Rei nodded her head slightly and began to eat.

"Want to watch some TV?" Shinji asked as he began on his meal as well.

"That would be fine." She said simply and continued to eat.

Shinji found the controller and turned on the TV to an old black and white Christmas movie. A couple danced together in an empty room, Christmas tree in the background the only music coming from a radio.

"Sometimes I wish I could learn how to dance as well." Rei commented.

"Oh? Well, I mean…I'm not a dancer either…but it doesn't look that hard. If you want, I could get you some tapes…a radio or something and you could teach yourself."

"Would you learn with me?"

"Uh…sure. Sure. That would be cool." Shinji began tapping his ohashi on the table.

"This is delicious." Rei complimented softly.

"Well, you helped." He replied and smiled nervously.

"You are fidgeting. What bothers you?"

"It's nothing…just a nervous habit." He pretended to crack his knuckles.

"I was under the impression that you got over that."

"It's just…that…"

"I am listening."

"Well…" Shinji bit his lip. "It's just that…well…did…father ordered you to help me…didn't he?" He heard a sharp intake of breath and he looked up to see Rei's face red. "That's why you stopped me at the lake? You were following me, weren't you?"

"I…" Rei looked away. "No."

"You don't lie very well." Shinji laughed.

"Shinji…I…it was not my intention…I…" She began to speak at an accelerated pace.

"No! No…Rei, no, I didn't mean it…" Shinji began to panic as well.

"I…the Commander did…but…"

"Rei! It's all right, really. It's not important. I shouldn't have asked." Shinji smiled, feeling himself burn up with embarrassment. Rei looked flustered but she turned back to her meal and seemed to calm down.

Shinji turned back as well to finish his meal. As he went for his ohashi he felt a warm touch encompass his hand. He slowly looked up to meet Rei's eyes.

"I truthfully enjoy spending time with you." She said softly.

He smiled and, unable to speak, gently squeezed her hand.

----------

"All I'm saying is that maybe you could've made so that the body didn't look like it was tortured extensively before being brutally beaten to death." Kenji Shioiri said sarcastically as he paced the brightly lit room.

"We got results and that's what we wanted." Fuyutsuki said with an edge, his one hand hiding the look of irritation on his face while the other was balled into a fist.

"I agree." A stoic looking older man sat across from Fuyutsuki. "Who cares how we got it, as long as we got it."

"Fine, fine. Whatever." Shioiri sighed and waved his hand dismissively.

"Maybe we could get started on what's important." Ritsuko said with an exasperated sigh from beside Fuyutsuki.

"Yes let's." Matsudaira sat up straight at the head of the table, trying to look authoritative. "Mr. Shioiri, if you will."

"All right, Mr. Asai and I have been reviewing this information extensively. As we see it, there are five main members of SEELE, well, four now. We will dub the head of the SEELE Organization, SEELE-1. The rest in descending order of political influence will be dubbed SEELE-2, SEELE-3, and SEELE-4 respectively, the recently deceased defense minister dubbed SEELE-5 for the sake of reference."

"There are only five members of SEELE?" The stoic older man asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Only five main members." Asai responded from where he leaned against the door. "We actually appraise the organization's membership at around fifty plus individuals, politicians, merchants, religious icons and military figures. However most of them are only puppets, the ones pulling the strings being those we speak of at this moment."

"So cut off the head of the snake and the body will die." The older man nodded to himself. "Are these four remaining particularly powerful?"

"Not so much powerful as they are influential." Asai said.

"However they are pretty well established in their respective countries, which is why we need to expect retaliation even upon their exposure." Shioiri continued. "As it stands, SEELE-1 is a man of the coin, a businessman and religious icon, not a member of any type of clergy though. He lived in Rome but has taken up permanent residence in Jerusalem, Israel. SEELE-2 is a politician's son and is residing in Beijing with the four units. SEELE-3 resides in Moscow, a learned and sophisticated professor of philosophy and theology at the MV Lomonosov Moscow State University. SEELE-4 is a US Military leader currently stationed in the Middle East. But business with the UN is going to lead him to Berlin which is where we will make our move.

"NERV has assured us that they will take care of most of them, including Mr. X. However, they need the assistance of the JSSDF for the Duck Hunt Operation. Can do General Uesugi?"

"I'll have my main force on standby. Major Asano will take care of the actual operation."

"Good. What about the explosives experts?" Shioiri turned to Ritsuko.

"Iori won't go in himself, but he said he'll train the JSSDF guys to do it." She said as she tapped her pen on the table.

"I want him in on this. Bribe him. Do something, but we'd all feel a lot better if we had someone with knowledge and experience in handling Evangelions."

"I tried bribing him, he's not taking." She sighed.

"Did you try threatening him?" He didn't seem to feel Ritsuko's glare. "I made it very clear that I want him there."

"So you did and I made it very clear to him that you made it very clear that his presence there was not an option. He still refused." Ritsuko replied.

"Find a way or I'll be forced to take drastic steps."

"Is he for real?" Ritsuko turned and looked incredulously at Fuyutsuki.

"Unfortunately I'd feel better if he were there as well. Forget that he's requiring it." Fuyutsuki began to massage his sinuses. "Send him to my office tomorrow and we'll work something out."

"I hope you do." Shioiri snorted.

"What about Takashita? I haven't heard about him in the news recently." Asai said in a near whisper.

"Oh well…him…he…" Matsudaira shifted uncomfortably and looked away.

"He escaped before we could get to him. Apparently he heard about Takeda and he decided to high tail it someplace. We're working on it though. We'll find him eventually." Shioiri smiled.

"I hope you do." Asai said softly.

----------

Shinji had gotten the photograph from Misato's room when he had gone in to check on her after he cleaned up the dinner mess. It was a picture that she had gotten Hikari to take one night she was over for dinner. Misato had been bragging that the three of them were like a real family, and had asked the poor girl to take their picture amongst the arguments and playful teasing over dinner. The scantily clad Misato had her arms around a bashful Shinji and an irate Asuka.

He had smiled when he saw the picture amongst the mess on Misato's floor. So he picked up the picture and taken it to the kitchen. He put it in one of the magnetic photo frames then stuck it to the refrigerator. He since then began to work on his backup assignments with Rei. When the clock struck two in the morning, they decided to call it quits.

"May I use your phone? I wish to call a cab." Rei asked softly as she put away her things.

"Huh? Oh, there's no need. If you don't mind you can stay here for tonight." Shinji said quickly

"I wouldn't impose. There are no other beds in the household."

"You can use mine."

"Where would you sleep?"

"I'll take the couch. It's no big deal. It's late and it would be easier if you just stayed the night. I'm sure Misato can give you a ride home in the morning." Shinji smiled.

"If you are sure." Rei nodded. "Thank you."

"No trouble. I'm just going to change the sheets for you."

After several more goodnights, Shinji settled in on the couch with a blanket. As he tossed and turned, his thoughts kept drifting to Asuka and the scene he had walked in on. He tried to figure out what could've happened between the two. Whatever it was, he knew that Misato had meant well, it was just that Asuka…he sat up and rubbed his eyes. He stood up gazed out the balcony door, hoping to find some sort of inspiration in the falling snow.

_'I know I'm not your mother.'_ Misato had said to him.

Then the refrigerator kicked in. He turned to look at it as reaction, and his eyes came to rest on the photo he recently had put up. As he continued to look at it, he furrowed his brow in thought. And then his eyes opened wide. He knew what to do. He reached into his school bag which he left on the floor next to the table and he took out his notebook and pencil. He found a clean page and began to write furiously.

----------

Shinji yawned as he scrambled some eggs for breakfast. He added some sugar for flavor before throwing it into the pan. In a separate pan he had some breakfast meats cooking and behind him the coffee maker bubbled noisily.

"Oh God…tell me that's not eggs." He heard a groggy voice.

"Coffee's almost done." He said and heard a grunt in reply as well as the refrigerator door opening.

Shinji waited for the hiss and pop of a can opening, but when he heard the door close without one, he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Sorry about last night." He heard her mumble and chose not to respond.

"Good morning." He heard a very distinct, quiet voice say softly.

"Oh. Rei. Erm…sorry about last night." Misato tripped and stuttered.

"It was not a problem." She responded as Shinji portioned out the servings onto four plates, taking three of them to the table.

"Breakfast served." He said with a smile before going back to the kitchen to pour him and Misato cups of coffee.

"You're a saint." Misato said and gingerly began to eat her breakfast.

"Thank you Shinji."

"It's nothing. Coffee, Rei?"

"No thank you." She replied.

Shinji sat down and handed Misato some tablets which vanished quickly down her maw.

"Fuck. That was a bad, bad, bad fuckin' idea." Misato cradled her head as the two children, again, chose not to respond.

"Oh, Rei's going to need a ride back to her place." Shinji said as if suddenly remembering.

"Yeah, I figured." Misato pushed away most of her breakfast and stood up slowly. "I don't suppose you were planning on going to school today? Either of you?"

"Uh…no…I…I guess not." Shinji smiled nervously.

"Yeah…why start now right?"

"I'm probably going to spend the day catching up on homework."

"Good. Could you keep an eye on Asuka then? I don't know if she'll come out, but if you take her food to her room, she should eat." Misato began to trudge back to her room. "I'm going to get ready."

"I can stay and help study if you wish." Rei offered as she continued to eat in small, almost dainty bites.

"I wouldn't impose."

"It's not an imposition. We discussed yesterday that we could work together."

"Yes, but you probably want to shower and get cleaned up." He said and yawned. "Besides, I was thinking of sleeping most of the morning away."

"You look tired. Are you having trouble sleeping again?" She placed her fork and knife on the plate elegantly.

"No, no. I was just finishing something up. That thing that I was writing for Asuka? I finally got it right, or at least I think as right as I can get it." Shinji smiled wistfully. "All I need to do is take it to the post office."

"Would you like to put off the homework until this afternoon then?"

"Actually…I was thinking maybe…yeah…sure. Why don't you call me after lunch?"

"I shall do so."

Shinji smiled and went to cover Asuka's plate with saran wrap.

"You're not going to sleep are you?" Rei asked.

"Huh? I might…" Shinji trailed off while trying to hide his face.

"You, too, are a poor liar."

"I'm…sorry." Shinji said softly.

"If you want to spend the day looking after Asuka, then all you need to do is say so. It is understandable that you worry after the events of last night."

"Thanks for understanding."

"Don't become discouraged if you are pushed away."

"I've been getting pushed ever since she started living here. It's not going to be anything new." Shinji half laughed.

"Are you ready Rei?" Misato called out from the hall.

"Yes." She responded and then turned back toward Shinji. "I shall call you this afternoon."

----------

Gendo lay on his back, watching the ceiling fan turn slowly, the whooshing sounding like the flapping of great wings. The bed was comfy, yet he didn't feel right in it. On the night stand next to him sat the Christmas tree ornament shaped like an angel. His gaze was unmoving, not even traveling to watch the snow fall on the outside like he had been doing of late. Then the phone began to ring. He lay and ignored it. Once. Twice. Three times. He lay as if he didn't hear it. Six times. Seven times. Frozen, hands folded across his chest as if he were dead. Ten times. Eleven. He slowly reached over and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"I'm sorry to disturb you Mr. Ikari, but it's Mr. Fuyutsuki and you said…"

"Then put him on." There was a click.

"How's your protection?"

"I'm still alive."

"You sound disappointed."

"Could you have picked a less annoying aide?"

"He's the best we have."

"I would've settled for second best." There was a chuckle on the other end of the line.

"Everything is in motion."

"Good."

"I was thinking though…this has been taxing on all of us involved, and I was just thinking that maybe we don't need Dr. Akagi anymore."

"You want to let her go?"

"I want to set her free. She's done her share. I'll still keep her on the staff, but as far as her participation in the final stages…"

"I see."

"Jesus, it's the holidays."

"I didn't say you couldn't. What you do, you do without need of my approval. I already told you that you're in charge."

"Thank you."

"How long until you make your move?"

"Four days."

"It's happening on the same day as my appearance."

"Yes, it is." There was silence. "I gave your son the shoebox and its contents."

"How did he react?"

"I don't know. I left before he opened it. He didn't seem interested at first."

"I see."

"I'm sure he liked it."

"I'm sure as well."

----------

Asuka had her ear pressed up against her door, listening as she heard Shinji say his goodbyes to Misato and Rei. She cursed softly at his decision to stay home that day. She sat down and leaned against her door. She stayed there, listening to Shinji putter around the apartment for most of the early morning. She tried to ignore her stomach growling, but the hunger pangs were beginning to make her wince. She bit down on her lower lip and began drumming her fingers against the floor, eyes looking at the crack between her door and the frame. She stood up and stared at the crack, listening still as Shinji moved about. She shifted her weight, one foot to the other. She finally reached toward the door but froze when she heard the front door open. Her heartbeat quickened, but she didn't give a sigh of relief as she heard him walk out and close the door behind him.

She planned on waiting ten minutes before stepping out of her room. She ended up waiting only three. She walked into the kitchen slowly, making sure that no one was present. She wouldn't have minded the company of the penguin, but it seemed that even he wasn't around. She took a moment to look around the living room, and snorted in disgust as she saw that it was cleared of almost all wreckage. She went into the kitchen and saw a note on the counter in front of her plate of food.

'_Asuka,_

_I left to go shopping. I made you some breakfast. I know you're not feeling very well so I made you a western style breakfast, rest up and get better. Hikari has been asking about you. I will be taking her and Kensuke to see Toji tomorrow. Maybe you'd like to come with us? I will bring home some lunch. Think about it._

_Shinji_'

Asuka sneered, but instead of crumpling it up and throwing it away, she folded it left it where it lay. She took the saran wrap off her breakfast and put it in the microwave and reheated it. She leaned against the counter, looking over the kitchen. Clean. It had been a mess days before, and then all of a sudden it was clean. Not the unusual, meticulous clean that Shinji was known for, but a lived in, home-like clean. She looked disgusted.

The microwave went off and she took her plate of food and sat down at the table. She dug in almost immediately. After a few large mouthfuls, she stood up and walked over to the refrigerator. She opened it and took out the carton of orange juice. When she closed it, her eyes rested on the picture that Shinji had placed in the magnetic frame. She lifted a trembling hand and took it down from its spot to look closer at it. The carton of orange juice fell from her hand and landed on the floor, spilling everywhere. Her eyes began to water and her breath came in jagged heaves. She collapsed on the floor, the orange juice soaking through her shorts.

The jagged heaves turned into sobs, and a few tears turned into waterfalls. She clutched the picture to her chest and cried. After her sobs began to subside, she slowly loosened her hold on the picture. She looked at it again and saw Shinji and Misato standing in it. Her eyes hardened and she began to grit her teeth.

"Fuck you!" She screamed and threw the picture across the room.

Asuka slowly stood up, hands and legs trembling, her eyes dying. She began a slow, shaky walk to the balcony door. She opened it feeling a blast of icy air and the slight sting of frost. She stepped out into the snow. The freezing ice covered balcony floor bit at her feet. Her entire body began to tremble from the cold, her lip quivering and her breath coming out in clouds. When she got to the rail he reached forward and grabbed a hold, ignoring the sharp pain from the freezing metal. She lifted herself up onto the railing and shakily stood up. Once completely standing and balanced on the rail, she looked across the iced city. She didn't bother to look down. She could feel her lips tightening up. Then she slowly raised her arms until they were pointed straight out from her sides, and then she tossed her head back.

"Take me with you." She whimpered softly, and the tears again began to roll down her face freely. "Why didn't you take me with you?"  
----------

"What are the readings?" Ritsuko asked without looking up from her clipboard.

"Everything holding steady." Makoto responded.

"No variations on this end either." Shigeru responded from his station.

"Total test results aren't fluctuating, everything is up to par and ready for the pilots." Maya concluded.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything important." A fifth voice spoke up from the back of the room as four heads turned.

"No. Just finishing up some preliminary testing for tomorrow's synch tests." Ritsuko said as she turned back to her clipboard, brow furrowed and squinting through her glasses.

"In that case, I hope you don't hate me." The professor said with a smile.

"What now?" She asked without as much as a glance.

"I'm calling off the testing." Fuyutsuki said and began toward them. "You three, I'm sorry for the trouble. Consider tomorrow a paid day off."

"You're not gonna hurt my feelings." Shigeru said while laughing.

"Well, that figures." Ritsuko gave a bored sigh.

"Unless you have something more for them to do, I don't supposed I could dismiss them so they can return to their normal duties?" Fuyutsuki asked.

"Nope. You three. Be gone." Ritsuko waved her pen, motioning towards the door.

"Doctor, do you want me to continue on these backup files?" Maya asked as the three filed through the doorway.

"Sure, why don't you. I'll be there in a second." She responded.

"Make it a little longer." The professor said with a shaky smile.

"Doctor?"

"I'll be there eventually." She said with a sigh. When they had all left, she turned toward Fuyutsuki with raised eyebrows. "So?"

"Join me for a drink?" He asked.

----------

Shinji walked down the streets, enjoying the sound and feeling of snow crunching beneath his shoes. His eyes burned slightly from the lack of sleep and he stopped at a coffee shop to get some caffeine in himself. As he exited the coffee shop, he pulled his black coat around himself feeling a slight but pleasant shiver run up and down his body. His attention was drawn to a couple of girls about his age sitting at a bus stop across the street. They caught his look and both smiled and waved at him. He felt his cheeks go red and he felt half a smile form. He nervously raised his hand and waved back before turning and walking on.

He walked a bit of ways before he reached the post office, and it was a longer wait in line. Once he got to the front, he handed the middle aged woman behind the counter his letter which he hoped he addressed correctly. He paid for his postage and the woman took his letter without another look. He left the post office and once again found himself in the frosty chill. He breathed in heavily, exhaled and then smiled wide.

-----------

"You wanted to see me?" Shioiri asked as he stepped into the office.

"Where's Takashita?" Matsudaira practically yelled as he turned away from his office window. "Will you shut the door!"

"He's safe." Shioiri replied, unfazed, as he shut the door behind him.

"Oh that's reassuring. Where is he?" The minister began a frantic pace back and forth.

"Calm down." Shioiri casually took a seat in front of Matsudaira's desk.

"Did you see their faces? The suspect something. They know what we're up to." Beads of sweat visibly stood out on the minister's forehead and receding hairline.

"Of course they suspect something. Now calm down." Shioiri picked a pen from the coffee cup on the desk and began to play with it, letting the pen do acrobatics between his fingers. "They can't do anything about it though. They're under our thumb. Takashita will be out of country by the end of the month, we'll get his statement. NERV will go down, everything will be hunky dory."

"He's still here!" Minister Matsudaira leaned across the desk wide eyed. "Are you insane!"

"You give them too much credit." Shioiri sighed with boredom, putting the pen down so that he could light a cigarette.

"Goddamn you! This isn't a game!" The minister's eye twitched as Shioiri checked his watch. "Oh, I'm sorry. Am I keeping you from something!"

"As a matter of fact, you are. Listen, I appreciate the concern, but believe me when I say it's going to be fine." Shioiri stood up, stretched and tapped his cigarette ash into the minister's coffee cup. "Now if you'll excuse me."

"No! You are not excused! You arrogant little bastard, you work for me!" He blubbered and spat, his face turning red.

"Watch your tongue." Shioiri stepped toward the minister. "I got you here, I'm keeping you here. You owe your existence to me. I'm responsible for this department's success. All you are is a face for the cameras. Be happy with the credit you receive and let me handle it. Got it?" He finished, blew smoke in the minister's direction and turned back toward the door.

"I want to see him. I want to see where he's kept. I want to know that we're safe." Matsudaira said in a small voice.

Shioiri stopped and gave him an exasperated look over his shoulder.

"For God's sake! I want to be able to sleep easy. Please?"

Shioiri sighed and walked out, shutting the door behind him.

-----------

Shinji stepped into the apartment.

"I'm home!" He called into the apartment. He saw that Asuka's shoes were still at the front door. He kicked off his own shoes and carried his bags into the kitchen.

He felt a draft as he walked through the kitchen. He set the bags down and saw the plate on the counter, the breakfast he had left for Asuka only partially eaten. He began to pull out the ornaments and the lights for the Christmas tree that he had picked up on the way home from the post office, but then stopped as he felt another breeze pass through the kitchen. He shivered and looked around. His eyes rested on the puddle of orange juice on the floor and the carton lying amidst the mess.

Shinji spotted the open balcony door in the living room. He quickly walked through the living room and out onto the balcony. He peered over the edge of the railing to look at the street below. He watched the lifeless street carry on. A single person walked the shoveled sidewalks, huddled up beneath a heavy looking coat. He turned and went back inside shutting the balcony door behind him.

Shinji walked to Asuka's room to find the door open wide.

"Asuka?" He called and began to look around, a look on his face somewhere between curiosity and alarm. He saw the door to the bathroom shut and light peeking out from beneath it. He walked up to the door and knocked softly at first. "Asuka?" No answer. He knocked louder. "Asuka?" He tried to open the door and found it unlocked.

He flung the door open to find Asuka on the floor. Her skin was pale and her feet were bleeding. Several prescription pill bottles littered the floor and the counter, all empty. Her eyes were closed.

"Asuka!" He screamed and ran to her body. He cradled her in his arms. She was still warm, despite her skin tone. He began to shake her and repeat her name over and over. He leaned in close and heard shallow breathing. Her eyes weren't closed all the way.

----------

"We're letting you go." Fuyutsuki said bluntly as he sipped at his Styrofoam cup of coffee.

Ritsuko smiled and shook her head, almost as if doing a double take.

"Excuse me?" She said with a laugh. "Come again?"

"We're letting you go."

"We?" Ritsuko's smile faded. "You mean you and Gendo?"

"We meaning me." Fuyutsuki studied her face, looking for a reaction. She only seemed to deadpan.

"Letting me go." She repeated. "As in? Firing me? I'm no longer working for NERV?"

"It's not official yet. I have to sign the papers. But we have a nice little severance package set up for you. A year's worth of paychecks." Fuyutsuki gave a dismissive wave of his hand. "I wish I could offer you more but as you know, NERV is kind of under funded. You should do fine. A doctor with your credentials should be able to find work in no time at all. In the private sector you'd no doubt end up making almost double or triple what we've been paying you…"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"Excuse me?"

"Don't bullshit me Fuyutsuki!" Her voice echoed throughout the empty cafeteria. "You know very fucking well that I can't leave! What about Maya? What about the pilots? What about the tests that need to be run? What about the dismantling of the Eva units?"

"All of that will be taken care of."

"Goddamn you…" She slumped back into her seat. "You know very well that…that…I don't know how to do anything else."

Fuyutsuki reached across the table and took her hand. She looked up at him through her glasses and her bloodshot eyes.

"You've done enough. It's okay."

"How will I sleep at night?"

"Very well. Probably better than I've been sleeping for the past fifteen years. You've paid your pound of flesh. You're done."

"What about you?"

"I owe more. I have to give more."

They sat in silence. Fuyutsuki didn't remove his hand from hers. She didn't pull away.

"Doctor Akagi!" Maya burst into the cafeteria and screamed at her from the door. "Asuka tried to commit suicide! They just brought her into the emergency room!"

"Shit!" Ritsuko cursed and shot up from her seat. "What did she do?" She asked leaving Fuyutsuki at the table.

He sat staring at his coffee.

"I'm so sorry Kyoko."

----------

Shinji sat at Asuka's bedside with Misato behind him and Ritsuko at the other side of the bed.

"We pumped her stomach." Ritsuko said and flipped through her clipboard. "Luckily there wasn't anything there that could cause her any great amount of danger. No sleeping pills or anything. However, it would've put a hole in her liver the size of China." She pursed her lips. "I was afraid of this."

Shinji felt Misato's hand on his shoulder and he felt her grip tighten to near excruciating. He flinched and reached up to pat Misato's hand. He looked up and over his shoulder to see tears threatening to break.

"It's not your fault." He said softly.

"If what you said about last night is accurate, then my previous diagnosis of Manic-Depression is even more supported now than it was before. I'm going to have to medicate her." Ritsuko jotted something on her clipboard. "She's going to be fine. There's nothing more that you two could've done."

Shinji looked at her prone figure feeling utterly helpless. Her eyes still weren't closed all the way. He could see their glassy surface, the dead plastic look they contained. They reflected the fluorescent lights of the hospital room. He was only vaguely aware of the slow clenching and unclenching of his fists and he wondered if Ritsuko and Misato could see any emotion on his face. He was trying to be calm. Trying to be still. Then he felt Misato's grip leave his arm. He watched her as she ran into the restroom and listened to the sick splashing and heaving as she emptied the contents of her stomach. He turned and looked at Ritsuko as she massaged her sinuses. He watched her take a prescription bottle from her lab coat and pop a few pills into her mouth.

"You can go Shinji. I'll talk to her." Ritsuko said softly as she took a seat at the other side of Asuka's bed.

"If it's all the same, I'd like to stay here."

"You look like shit. You've done enough really. You did good work Shinji. You saved her life. Go home. You can come back tomorrow. She should be awake by then."

Shinji nodded and slowly stood up.

He walked without direction through the hospital until he got to the cafeteria. He took his normal spot at a lonely, metal and cold cafeteria table. He sat and stared at the lifeless surface of the table, making out only a vague reflection of himself, faceless, without distinction. Then he noticed another shadow take a seat next to him.

"I came as soon as I heard." Rei said softly.

Shinji offered no reply.

Rei wrapped her arms around him and rested her head against his. She felt his arms slowly encircle her.

They stayed that way for a while.

-----------

"Robert Lee has reported in sir. He is stationed and has begun preliminary preparations for the move." Asai reported while looking at a file in his hands. He remained standing in front of the Commander's desk while Fuyutsuki sat behind it, seemingly not paying attention. "Sir?"

"Very good. What about the others?"

"Ms. Takaki is currently stationed and has begun preliminary preparations as well. Mr. Watanabe is on a plane as we speak. They are using the forged passports Minister Matsudaira has provided us with." Asai continued his report, unfazed by Fuyutsuki's apparent inattentiveness.

"What about Takashita?"

"I have ascertained his location. He has not left the country."

"Will acquiring him be a problem?"

"No sir."

"Four days."

"Yes sir."

"What about Mr. X?"

"Our agent has everything under control. He assures us that everything is going as planned."

"And General Uesugi?"

"Also on standby."

"What about you?"

"I'm ready sir."

"Good." Fuyutsuki nodded, not once looking at Asai. "Good."

-----------

"It's not your fault." Ritsuko said and poured both herself and Misato another tall glass of beer from their pitcher. The bar lights were dulled, which suited her just fine. She wasn't quite in the mood for the festivities that most other bars seemed to be sporting. It would seem that this particular bar understood that even during a celebratory season, there were still people with problems who wanted only to drown them.

"It is." Misato said and took another long pull, her hair a mess and her face looking about ten years older than she was. "Everything I touch, I fuck up. I try to do something nice and it blows up in my face. I thought the Christmas tree would make her happy. I thought trying to get her up and about would do her some good. All I am is a fuck up."

"Now hold on." Ritsuko held up her hand, stopping her. "You don't fuck everything up. Look at Shinji. He's looking a million times better than he did a few weeks ago. And you can't hold yourself accountable for the actions of someone that is emotionally and mentally unstable. You can't account for anyone's actions but your own."

"What a distinctly Kantian philosophy. How did that phrase go? Kant can't work?" Misato pulled a face.

"Didn't think you stayed awake during that class." Ritsuko chuckled.

"Oh shut up." Misato said shook her head and pointed her finger at Ritsuko. "I didn't sleep through my classes. Not all of them anyway." She took another pull from her glass. "And what's this? You're drinking more than usual."

"Well, I have a good excuse." Ritsuko smiled wanly. "I was just informed that I have been, in effect, terminated from NERV."

"You're shitting me." Misato leaned in, her surprised look exaggerated by the amount of alcohol she had consumed. "They fired you?"

"Yup. Fuyutsuki was giving me 'the talk' when Maya told me about what Asuka did."

"No shit." Misato seemed to contemplate the contents of her glass before downing it. "It'll only be a matter of time before they end my employment as well." She paused. "How did it come to this?"

"I don't know." Ritsuko sighed.

"This calls for another pitcher." Misato said and smiled dumbly.

"For once…I agree." Ritsuko raised her hand to get the bartender's attention. "Another pitcher!"

----------

Shinji awoke to the sound of a crash. He got up and walked to the living room to find both Ritsuko and Misato giggling, arms around each others shoulders and on the floor. A broken lamp lay nearby.

"Oh shit! You see, you woke Shinji now." Misato laughed and pushed Ritsuko.

"Don't blame this on me! You knocked the lamp over." Ritsuko pushed her back.

"Shinji, this isn't what it looks like." Misato said while looking at him pleadingly.

"Oh?" Shinji sighed and put his hands on his hips.

"I told you he'd be pissed." Ritsuko giggled.

"I'm sorry Shinji." Misato looked down at the floor.

"It's all right." Shinji shook his head and walked toward them. "C'mon Misato, I'll help you back to your room. Dr. Akagi, you can have a seat on the couch while I get Misato tucked away in bed."

"Aww…he's like your second father." Ritsuko laughed.

"Shut up Ritsu!" Misato yelled over her should as Shinji helped her to her feet.

"C'mon, let's go." Shinji helped Misato stagger down the hall.

"I'm sorry Shinji…I just…can't help myself." Misato whispered as he sat her down on her bed.

"I know you're trying. You'll just have to try a little harder, right?"

Once Shinji got her situated, he went back out into the living room to find Ritsuko already passed out. He sighed. One hell of a day. He went to the linen closet and pulled out an extra bed sheet to drape over Ritsuko. He wished he could just drink and forget everything that had happened. He still could. There were beers left in the fridge that he hadn't gotten around to dumping.

Shinji found himself standing in front of the fridge, staring at Misato's beers. He wondered how many it would take to get completely blitzed. He wondered how long he would forget the happenings of the day. How long would it take to forget that Asuka had hospitalized herself yet again? How long would it take to forget that if he had stayed home instead of going out, he would have been there for her? How long?

He stared at the beer cans, hands clenching and unclenching.

Angels have no memories. Wasn't that right? So he shouldn't remember the bad things? He would be perfectly within his rights to forget everything that had happened. He reached into the fridge and pulled out a beer. There was a hiss and pop as he opened it.

He drained the can into the sink. He grabbed another can and repeated the process. One after another. Cans piled up on the counter until he had emptied the contents of every last beer. He pulled out an empty trash bag from beneath the sink and cleaned up the empty cans. Once he tied off the bag, he pulled out everything he needed to make tea. He turned off the lights around the apartment and sat in the dark , listening to Ritsuko's snoring. He timed the boiling water mentally and took it off the stove before it began to whistle.

Shinji walked out onto the balcony, cup of tea in hand, and looked up at a clear sky.

----------

Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki sat behind the desk. Bags sagged under his eyes. He idly played with the pen on his desk and he once again reviewed Doctor Ritsuko Akagi's termination papers. He tried to count the amount of hours that he had been awake. As he counted in his head, he found himself losing track sometime after thirty and then having to start over again, and again, and again. He'd been awake too long for a man of his age. Even when he was younger, in college, he always made sure to get his required amount of sleep. Later in life, he heard from his students that if you were awake long enough, you would start to hallucinate, your mind would begin to play tricks on you. He wondered how much longer it would take before he began to see things.

He checked his watch and read the time through strained eyes. Right about this time Mr. Asai would be in his office giving him the rundown of the day's tasks at hand. Military precision and meticulous attention to detail. Status reports every hour on the hour. Ten minutes of your time sir.

But Mr. Asai wasn't there. He was late. Which meant one thing. The day was upon him. His day of judgment. Everyone was in position and in a few hours time his phone would be ringing with operation success and failure reports. He hoped that there would be no reports of failures, but he had to prepare for the contingency. Working with Gendo so long had taught him that success was never guaranteed. It was always wise to leave yourself and out.

Fuyutsuko sighed and leafed through the rest of the papers on his desk. Ah, there it was. Major Misato Katsuragi. He pulled her papers up and set them next to Ritsuko's. He tapped his pen on the papers, ready to sign. Then he shook his head. He couldn't sign their papers until everything was complete. All contingencies needed to be taken care of first.

He rubbed his eyes and rested his head on his desk.

"I have to do it."

No…it couldn't be. She was dead. Fuyutsuki raised his head slowly and looked at the wide expanse before the commander's desk. There was sunlight. And there was Yui, standing beneath a tree and holding Shinji in her arms.

"I have to make it a better world for Shinji." She turned and looked at him through those dark blue eyes…that haunting look that her son shared.

"If you must." He heard himself say.

"Won't you help?"

----------

"Sir, you're up."

Gendo looked up from his newspaper to see his aide hovering over him, a rare worried look on his face instead of his fake, subservient smile. Since early that morning he had been at the United Nations building. People came and went. He sat outside of the conference room reading the entire contents of that morning's newspaper. Nobody stopped to stare, to say hello, or even gave him a backwards glance. Nobody knew him there.

"Very well." Gendo stood up and grabbed his case and files.

"Sir, are you sure about this?" Vargas trotted after him.

"Make sure that the car is ready to go. After my report I won't have much time to make it back to my flight." Gendo opened the door to the conference room.

"Sir, why would you book a flight departure time so close to the time of your conference?"

"Make sure that the car will be ready." Gendo let the door close behind him.

That was it. He was ready.

----------

The early morning light pierced through the fog that had rolled in during the night. The guards on duty lounged outside of their guard post. A chain link fence topped haphazardly with barbed wired was the only defense. But the lax security was a façade. A line of black Mercedes-Benz' appeared in the distance as ghosts in the fog. The guards quickly snapped to attention, straightened their uniforms, checked their weapons and their appearances in the guard booth windows. One of them stepped out in the middle of the road, trying to look official.

The line of black cars stopped inches away from the guard in the road. One of the other guards stepped out from his hut and approached the first car nonchalantly. The driver's side window rolled down.

"Good morning." The guard said and saluted smartly.

The driver said nothing and only handed the guard a piece of paper. The guard ran his eyes over it critically and then nodded. He pocketed the piece of paper and then motioned for the guard in the road to move aside. The other guard complied and the convoy proceeded into the military base. The base looked shabby and ill kept. But if one were to look carefully, one might see the red lights of video cameras in dirty windows, in dark corners of buildings.

The convoy of black cars pulled up outside of what looked to be a weapons warehouse converted from an old airplane hanger. The hanger doors were open wide and a cadre of soldiers stood smart and ready in the center of the hanger.

The doors of the cars opened almost simultaneously and stepping out of the middle car was the Young Man in a casual blue business suit, white pressed shirt and red tie. He smiled and patted down his hair as the officer of the soldiers approached quickly.

"Sir. It is an honor to have you here today." The officer saluted.

"Thank you General, it's really nothing. Just a minor check up to make sure that our cargo is being well taken care of." The Young Man said and returned the salute.

"The third one this month. Is there something that I should be aware of?" The General asked warily.

"If the Council deemed it necessary for you to know, they would tell you. If you would lead the way General?" The Young Man brushed off the concern and began to walk into the hanger ahead of the General.

"Of course sir, this way." The General stepped up his pace to retake the lead on the Young Man. "The rest of you, get those cars in here. Close the hangar doors. Stay alert."

The procession of cars pulled into the hangar and the doors closed. The dirt smeared windows allowed little to none of the early morning sunlight. If it weren't for the bright fluorescent lights, the inside of the hanger would be pitch black. The Young Man and few of his entourage was led by the general to a hidden elevator. They managed to cram themselves in without looking disheveled and they descended into the base.

All of this was being watched from General Uesugi's Command on an anonymous aircraft carrier in the East Sea. In the communications room, multiple monitors were lit up with the happenings of the disguised missile silo. Every few seconds a screen would change to a different part of the base.

"Pretty wicked set up, yeah?" Shigeru Aoba leaned back in his chair and plucked on his guitar. "I spiked the line that SEELE used when they dropped our system into the shit can that one angel attack. I managed to salvage and copy their setup. Electronic security is fine and dandy, but technology has its own set of flaws. Especially Chinese technology if you know what I mean. This entire base is run on a single network, here." He pointed at a screen. "All I need to do is hit them with the same virus they blew our systems with and they're going down. Pitch black. Ground Zero baby, boom!" Shigeru laughed. "What? You think Kaji could've gotten as far as he did on his own? Hey, don't get me wrong, the guy was smooth man, but this is art."

"Save your intellectual masturbation for someone who appreciates it. If you wouldn't mind putting your guitar down and paying attention. We are only minutes away." General Uesugi grumbled.

"Sure thing." Shigeru propped his guitar up against the wall and began typing.

"Major Asano here. We are ready to move." A radio crackled.

General Uesugi looked to a digital clock on the wall. The red digits changed and changed and changed. There it was. Six and zeros across the board.

"Execute." Uesugi said authoritatively.

"Video loop back beginning…now." Shigeru hit a key.

Outside of the base the guards had gone back to milling around their perimeter hut. Three of them. In less than a second all three of them were on the ground. The shots were never even heard. Only the cracking of glass, the spattering of blood and the dull thud of bodies hitting the ground.

But the men in the base security room never saw it. They saw the three guards lounging and milling about their post. They didn't see the perfectly placed shots to their heads. The simultaneous snapping of their necks as the force of the bullets ripping through their skulls jerked their heads back. They didn't see the dozen men in black rush to the guards post and open the gates. They didn't see the trucks coming down the road and then enter the base. They saw nothing.

----------

Rei heard a slight knock on her door. She looked up from the book that she had been reading and got up from her bed. She opened her front door to see Shinji standing on her doorstep, a smile on his face and a bag in his hand.

"Hi."

"Hello. Please come in."

Shinji stepped into what had become a meticulously clean apartment. Shinji took off his black navy style coat and placed it on Rei's bed. He unpacked the bag shopping bag, taking out a couple VHS tapes and several books.

"Ready?" He asked, anticipation evident.

"Certainly."

"I think we should probably look through the books first. Get some of our footing down."

"All right."

They both took a seat on Rei's bed and began to leaf through the books.

----------

"Hey! Is the General's car ready yet?" A relatively young American officer barked from outside of the military auto repair center.

"Yes sir." The Chief Mechanic said and mopped his brow. "Been working on it all day. Nothing save LAWs will take apart this puppy." He rapped the tinted, bullet proof glass of the black Cadillac.

"Good. Doug! Get Montgomery in here. The General's flight leaves in three hours." The officer barked.

"Major, if I may?" The Chief Mechanic began nervously. "I stayed overtime for this job. Is it possible that I can take tomorrow off?"

"This isn't some rush job for a cushy politician back home. We're at war in case you haven't noticed. The occupation here is vital. Your presence is vital. There is no overtime, you do whatever we say you do. Show up at eight."

"Christ." The Chief Mechanic swore and walked away.

"Ready to go sir." Doug said and approached.

"Good. Who the fuck is this?" The Major eyed the other man who had appeared up and down. "This isn't Montgomery."

"Montgomery bought it in the bombing this morning, sir. This is only other driver replacement we had ready. Came from the motor pool." Doug explained, shifting nervously from foot to foot.

The Major eyed the new man up and down. Big, burly looking fucker. Asian. Older looking. Sergeant stripes. Salt and pepper hair and mustache. Probably one those military lifers. Probably served in the Gulf too.

"All right. Make it snappy. The General doesn't like to rush. Move it. Go with him Doug and help with any luggage the General may have." The Major tossed the large man the keys to the car and walked away.

"All right big guy. Let's go." Doug said patted the large man the back.

Doug climbed into the passenger seat and the Sergeant climbed into the driver's seat. The Sergeant started up the car and pulled out of the mechanics shop and onto the military road. What an ungodly hour. Doug couldn't believe his luck. There was hardly anyone to be seen in the wee hours of the morning on the base. Flood lights littered the streets and as they drove by, they left contrails in his vision.

"So, uh…Sergeant…Davis. You been serving here long?" Doug asked looking at the stern man. "Yeah, I've been here almost a year. My rotation is almost up. I haven't seen much action though, mainly served at the command in Kuwait. You must've seen some action, eh? Being from the motor pool, you must've driven some tough convoys, yeah?" The Sergeant gave no answer and only kept his eyes on the road. "Yeah." Doug continued nervously. "You don't look like a Davis. Don't get me wrong, but you look too Asian to be a Davis. Are you like half and half? Your mother was Asian and your father was American or something? Or were you one of those adopted babies from, like, China?"

The Sergeant only glanced at Doug.

----------

Minister Matsudaira stepped out of the car and approached the mountainside lodge. Several of his men in black suits waited around the perimeter, protection for the man inside. They seemed to tense up as he approached. The night was quiet and the only light came from the lodge lights around the front door. It wouldn't be long until the sun came up and peeked over the top of the mountain. If he looked carefully, he could see the light blue beginnings of a morning sky at the point where the mountain top reached the sky. The smell of the woods was refreshing. However, the night was dead silent, even in the woods. This was unsettling to Matsudaira.

"Sir." One of the men bowed and stepped aside. The rest followed suit.

Matsudaira said nothing and nervously approached the front of the lodge. He could feel himself sweating something awful. He fought the urge to reach for his kerchief and wipe his hands and forehead which were all of a sudden feeling terribly clammy. He reached the front door and one of his men opened the door for him.

The entryway was dark, but some light filtered into the hall from the living room. There was the faint smell of burning wood and he could hear the crackling of wood cherries. He made his way forward slowly until he was standing at the end of the hall. Pacing the center of the room was Governer Takashita. It was some comfort to Matsudaira that the Governor looked more agitated than he felt. The Governor didn't seem to notice him.

So Matsudaira cleared his throat.

----------

"Ouch."

"Sorry." Shinji apologized and blushed, feeling rather sheepish. "I…er…I'm not very good at this."

"Practice makes perfect." Rei cited the old cliché and moved in close to Shinji. She placed one hand on his shoulder and took his hand with the other.

Shinji put his hand on her mid-section rather hesitantly. When it finally rested there, it was only lightly so he could only feel the fabric of her clothes.

"All right…um…let's try this again." He said nervously. "One, two, three."

And they started to dance.

----------

The Thin Man looked over his menu with a critical eye. He found himself dining in his favorite restaurant, the only one to be open that late at night. It was a five star restaurant which catered to his more refined tastes. At that time though, there was hardly anybody in the restaurant, most having headed home by the time 12:30 had rolled around which suited him just fine. He liked being alone. The silence was broken by the sound of soft classical music playing and by the chit chat of the slightly inebriated upper class still lingering. But what did he want to eat?

"Filet mignon."

"As usual, sir?" The maitre d' took his menu from him.

"Yes, as usual."

"Very good, sir."

The Thin Man did enjoy the finer things in life. Good music, good food, the luxuries. Though if things had gone their way, he wouldn't need worry about such comforts. But as long as he was still there, he may as well enjoy himself to the fullest. Intellectual pursuits, fine dining and all that. He wondered though, if everyone became one, wouldn't that make it rather crowded? He hated crowds.

----------

Kihl sat in front of a circle of black monoliths.

"The plan has been compromised!" One of the monoliths boomed.

"We are so close! Do not let this slip through your fingers, Chairman!" Another spoke.

"Silence!" Kihl growled. "I have never let you down as Chairman and I will not do so now. As soon as we ascertain the location of Adam we will move. Until we know where Adam is, we can not afford to move. Fuyutsuki and Ikari are as good as dead. We will not fail, gentlemen."

----------

"Power being cut…now." Shigeru hit a key.

The soldiers and the Young Man's personal escort in the hanger found themselves thrust into total darkness. There was no speaking, only the rapid sounds of weapons being made ready and then the occasional nervous shuffling of feet.

Then there was a blast as the side door of the hanger was blown off its hinges and into the darkness. There was a high pitched scream and a crunching sound as the door hit one of the soldiers on the inside. And then there was a flash bang. There was a collective cry as the flash bang went off, then the sound of glass breaking as members of the assault unit burst in on wires. Red lasers danced like malicious fireflies and small bursts of light accompanied by light coughing noises cut through the darkness and noise. It lasted all of a minute and three seconds.

Then the hanger doors slowly began to open casting the morning sunlight into the large, hollow building. The soldiers and the personal escort lay strewn about on the floor, none moving. Large pools of blood spread crimson across the stone floor. The assault team inside of the hanger waved in the trucks which quickly pulled into the hanger and stopped. The assault team found the elevator and slipped an electronic key into the slot on the side. A code breaker was strapped to the surface of the code screen and digital numbers raced across the panel until a series of numbers appeared. The elevator opened. The assault team moved quickly taking the boxes from the trucks and stacked them head high in the elevator. They hit the down button and let it ride.

On the lower level, Major Asano and Chief Engineer Iori were waiting for the elevator, more than a dozen engineers, explosive experts and assault soldiers ready to move. There was a soft chime as the elevator reached its destination and the doors opened revealing the stacked boxes of explosives. Asano reached into the elevator and hit the hold button while the engineers and the explosives experts began to pull the boxes from the elevator and onto a dolly. When everything was unloaded, Chief Iori rounded up his men and they carted the explosives down the empty halls, avoiding the bodies of dead guards.

"Going up. Let's get the next shipment moving. Lieutenant, keep the shipments on schedule. My guys, Phase Three. Move fast, we're twelve seconds behind." Asano and three others from the assault team sprinted down the corridors. "Initiate Phase Three. I repeat, initiate Phase Three." He spoke quickly into his mic.

Several levels down, the Young Man, the General and the entourage were situated in the command room. Several technicians worked several different stations, each station having almost a dozen security monitors. The room was bathed in a dull light and cigarette smoke hung thick in the recycled air.

"As you can see, sir, everything is under control. Just like the last time that you visited. The units are safe in their hangers as you can see here. They are under 24 hour surveillance. The entire base is. Nothing can get by without us seeing." The General's voice was laced with exasperation.

But they didn't see the guards and the technicians in the Eva silos get taken down with precision. They didn't see Chief Iori and his men rig vital points in the Eva with hundreds of pounds of plastic explosives. They didn't see the engineers and spec ops rig the vital points of the silo to collapse in on itself. They didn't see Major Asano as his team made their way down the stairwells to the command level.

"Ground Zero…now." Shigeru hit a key.

The monitors in the command center went dead. The lights went off. Everything was plunged into pitch black. There was no sound. There was no movement.

"General…what's going on?" The Young Man asked calmly.

Then the emergency lights went on. The room was masked in red, and the room turned to the doorway to see four men in black ops outfits, aiming silenced weapons directly at them.

"Well shit." The Young Man said softly.

----------

Governor Takashita paced back and forth in his cabin. House arrest. It was absurd. The fire did little to warm him. The cabin was freezing. He should be back at his house outside of Tokyo-3, where there was a decent heating system and the comforts of everyday living. He didn't have a radio or a TV in this fucking cabin. And it had been days, almost weeks since he had last heard from Shioiri.

Takashita wrung his hands together. That bastard Nako had talked. And they had arrested General Takeda. As soon as he had gotten the phone call from the Council, he had made phone calls of his own. No one wanted to touch him. Not with a damn 50 foot pole. Now he was stuck under house arrest. Blackmailed by that little shit and the damn Minister of the Interior. Blackmailing him to talk about NERV. Tell us about NERV or we'll put you away for life, they said. Cooperate, and you'll make a brief tribunal appearance and then you'll live on some luxurious island and never have to worry about petty things like this again. Goddamn them.

He heard a slight cough, like someone was trying to politely get his attention. He turned quickly and saw Minister Matsudaira standing in the hall way, looking like his usual high strung self. First personal encounter that he had with the minister since he had been escorted to the Ministry. And then there he was. The tall gangly figure in the dark behind Matsudaira. A light haze of smoke and a burning cigarette.

"Goddamn you Shioiri! I want out of here! I've been kept here for too long!" Takashita shouted. "You said it would only be a few days. It's been nearly a month!"

The figure stepped into the light and said "Calm yourself Governor."

----------

The Burly Man sat behind his desk, going through the files that he would have to present to the UN Council in Berlin. He had to find a way to present the occupation in the best light possible. And he hated politics. Words were only a means of communication. If things had gone as planned, there wouldn't need to be any communication at all. Sometimes he wanted to just tell the UN the truth about the occupation. Like they would do anything about it. What would they do? Tell the U.S. to stop? Stop or else what?

There was buzz from his desk pager.

"General, your escort is here to take you to the airport."

"Thank you Lucy." And about damn time. He gathered his two suitcases and a brief case and toted them outside of his command building, nodding hello and goodbye to whoever passed him on duty.

Outside, a shifty looking Second Lieutenant and big graying Sergeant awaited him. He decided right away that he didn't like the Lieutenant. The Sergeant however…a dedicated soldier. He liked that.

"Lieutenant Doug Preston. How do you do sir?" The young officer extended his hand.

The General responded by passing his luggage off to him.

"Ready for your flight sir?"

Lower tier officers were all the same. Kiss ass nobodies. Now the Sergeant knew. He didn't say a word. Probably didn't speak unless asked a question. Would probably do whatever he asked without question. A good dedicated soldier. The General knew that just by looking at him.

Doug opened the car door for the General, all smiled. The General just sat himself in the back seat without a word. The driver and the Lieutenant got into the car shortly after.

"Airport." Doug said and patted the driver on the shoulder who remained silent as he started up the car.

"I'm going to turn the light on, get some paper work done on the way." The General said indifferently. He really didn't want to do paperwork, but on the way to the airport it was all military and desert. Fucking Middle East. Like driving through Nevada.

"Paperwork sir? Now that's dedication. I can't even read when a vehicle is moving. Makes me sick. Has that ever happened to you sir." Doug turned in his seat and looked back at the General.

"No. But when I do my paperwork, I'm not in the habit of holding idle conversation." The General said while pulling a file out of his briefcase.

"Of course sir. Sorry sir."

The rest of the drive was completely silent. The General lost track of time as he read and re-read the report. Going over potential questions and possible answers that his people drew up for him. So much trouble. If all went as planned, it wouldn't even matter in a few weeks anyway. He stopped reading and checked his watch. Thirty minutes? He looked out the window and saw only desert. Where had civilization gone?

"Hey. Where's the goddamn airport? Did you get lost or something?" He leaned forward and heard Doug snoring. Fucking asleep. The Sergeant said nothing. "Hey!" He struck the Lieutenant on the back of the head. "Where the fuck are we? What the hell is your man doing?"

"Huh? What? Where are we? Where's the airport?"

"That's what I'm wondering, shit for brains."

"Hey! Davis! What the fuck are you doing man?" Doug reached over and took a hold of the Sergeant's shoulder.

The Sergeant tensed up.

The General knew what it was about before anything happened. All he could do was sit back and let the gut feeling of despair wash over him.

The Sergeant shrugged off Doug's shoulder and in no time at all, a silenced pistol was against Doug's dead, and then Doug's brains were all over the passenger window. The window didn't break, cause it was bullet proof. Then the pistol was turned on the General. Three silenced shots and it was all over. The entire time, Mr. Watanabe never looked away from the dirt road. He kept driving through several towns. People turned to watch the car go by, because it was a nice car. They couldn't see the blood and brains on the window from the outside. An hour's worth of driving had gone by before he pulled up to a cliff face where a cadre of soldiers awaited him in faded military fatigues and brown ski masks.

Mr. Watanabe got out of the driver's seat and handed the keys to one of the soldiers who got in and drove the car away. Another, older, white car, a Buick, pulled up. Watanabe was handed a change of clothes. He changed wordlessly into civilian clothing, and then got into the Buick, headed back for the airport.

SEELE-4 Terminated.

----------

Shinji and Rei found dancing while watching the video instructor to be rather difficult. They tried it. But most of the time Shinji only ended up treading on Rei's feet, which caused both of them a great deal of discomfort.

"All right, break, break." Shinji hit the stop button the small TV/VHS player. He took a seat on Rei's bed, laughing.

Rei took a seat beside him, smiling.

"Harder than it looks." Shinji said and wiped his forehead on his sleeve.

"Practice makes perfect."

"Yeah, but not today. I'm wiped." Shinji found that his smile would not go away. And it felt great. "Tomorrow then?"

"That would be nice."

"Tomorrow then."

----------

The Thin Man checked his watch.

"Excuse me?" He beckoned the manager as he walked by.

"Yes sir?"

"It's been nearly thirty minutes since I placed my order. I don't plan on waiting all night." The Thin Man tapped his pocket watch for emphasis.

"Of course sir. I'll check on your meal right now and have a complimentary glass of wine sent with your meal." The manager bowed and left.

The Thin Man sighed and looked around the restaurant. The front had closed up a few minutes earlier and he found himself to be the only one left with the exception of the staff. He didn't feel bad about making them stay late. He paid good money to eat there. That was what they got paid to do. In practically no time at all, he saw a waitress emerge from the kitchen with a plate and a glass of wine. He turned back to his newspaper and pretended not to care. The squeaky wheel gets the oil, as they say.

Then he felt the table shake as the plate was practically dropped on the table. He looked up from his paper with incredulity on his face. The waitress was only a few inches from his face, and stared him right in the eyes. What the? Then she stood up straight and gently placed the glass of wine on the table as well. Then she turned and left without a word.

Staff with attitudes. He hated that. He would have to speak with the manager about that. For the time being, he would work on his meal. He cut into the filet and placed a small portion in his mouth. Delectable. He savored the taste as it rolled across his tongue. When he swallowed, he raised the glass of wine to his lips and tasted the wine. Most excellent. And odd little flavor to it, but it wasn't disagreeable. Very nice.

"Is everything all right with your meal sir?" The Manager had reappeared by his side almost by magic.

"The meal is wonderful, as usual, my compliments to the chef." He set his fork and knife down. "However, I would like to say that I hope tonight won't become a habit. Tardiness on meal preparation, your staff was rather rude to me when she brought my food."

"I am terribly sorry sir. I will have a word with…her? Immediately."

"Oh, and one more thing. She smelled like ash. Very unpleasant, especially right before dining."

"I am terribly sorry sir. I will remedy this situation immediately." The Manager then stalked off.

The Thin Man smiled to himself and took another sip of the wine. Truly unique flavor. He had never tasted it before. He would certainly have to get the name and year from the manager when he got back. He cut himself another bite of the filet and continued to enjoy his meal. The food was wonderful, perhaps rather rich since he could feel a little bit of discomfort in his stomach. He took another sip of the wine to calm it. As he continued the feeling only got worse. He could feel himself growing and each bite made him feel sicker. He finally stopped.

The Thin Man felt woozy. A sharp pain was shooting through his stomach. He didn't even notice the manager saying his name.

"Sir? Sir? Did you get the name of the employee who served you? I don't recall a woman being on the wait staff tonight…" The Manager's voice drifted off.

The Thin Man's vision began to blur. The pain became sharper, but it felt more distant. He felt as though he were a drunk driver behind the wheel of his own body. He tried to stand up…but collapsed on the floor. He couldn't hear anything but ringing. He couldn't feel anything, taste anything. He could only smell the ash from the waitress.

SEELE-3 Terminated.

----------

Major Asano stepped over the fallen bodies as his men put bullets through the heads of any man who was still alive. He found the still breathing body of the Young Man. He leaned down to check the face. It was definitely him. His eyes were already glossed over. He wasn't going to be alive long. But better to be sure. He stood up, aimed his sub-machine gun at the Young Man's head and vaporized it.

"Objective A met." He said over his mic.

"Be aware. You have thirty minutes before Objective A's visit will be officially up. Once the Council gets wind of the situation, you will have approximately twenty minutes before the closest hostile force responds. Mark that you have approximately fifty minutes to complete Objective B. Be quick with it."

"All right team, let's move!"

SEELE-2 Terminated.

----------

The black monoliths came to life once more.

"He was due to respond back five minutes ago!" One monolith boomed.

"Fuyutsuki is making a move on us! I told you to take care of him while you had the chance!"

"It's only a matter of time before they find us."

"It's over…"

One by one, the black monoliths began to disappear.

Kihl remained uncharacteristically silent and alone in the dark room for several minutes. Then he beat his fist down on his desk sending a sharp reverberation throughout the room.

"Goddamn you!" He screamed. "Goddamn you!"

If Kihl saw the leather gloved hands come up from behind him, he gave no indication that he had. A thin wire glinted in the weak light. Then Kihl's hands shot to his neck. A visible tightening of the skin could be seen as the wire constricted against his neck. He tried to wedge his fingers between the wire, but had no success. He gurgled. He spat. The skin on his neck began to color. His face bloated and turned a purple hue. His eye piece fell to the floor with a clatter. Milk white eyes threatened to bulge from their sockets. He tongue rolled out of his mouth. And then he went still. The wire remained tight around the body's neck for a few minutes longer. Then the hands and the wire disappeared.

SEELE-1 Terminated.

----------

Kenji Shioiri pulled up outside of the lodge. He stepped out of his car and looked around curiously, seeing no guards at first, but then noticing them off in the darkness, watching him. He waved and got no response. Not a big surprise really. He sauntered up the steps to Governor Takashita's cabin and opened the door.

"Hello! Governor! Time to go!" Kenji casually strolled into the fire illuminated living room. Takashita sat on the couch, back to Kenji, facing the fire. It was then that Kenji noticed Minister Matsudaira standing next to the fireplace, looking agitated as hell. Surprise surprise.

"Minister Matsudaira. I didn't expect to see you here." Kenji smiled. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. You are the Minister of the Interior after all."

"That's right. I am." Matsudaira said softly. "Not you."

"How very astute of you. Governor Takashita, time to go." Kenji walked up behind the Governor and gave the body a shake. The Governor's body slumped to the side, and then Kenji saw the bullet holes in Takashita's chest. "What?"

"It was a good plan. Clever. I'll give you that."

Kenji turned sharply to see another figure, previously unnoticed, standing in a dark corner of the room. Mr. Asai stepped into the light.

"Asai…" Was all Kenji could manage.

"You're become a liability Kenji." Asai said and raised his silenced pistol. "You of all people should know what we do about liabilities."

"Wait!"

A single cough, and then a thump.

Governor Toshiharu Takashita Terminated.

Agent Kenji Shioiri Terminated.

----------

Gendo stepped quickly out of the UN building. They had responded in the exact fashion that he had predicted. Outraged. It was perfect. The snow was falling steadily. There had been a warning about that in the newspaper. He hoped that his flight would be able to take off before the storm reached the city.

Gendo spotted his aide, John Vargas, curbside near the car. The door was already open and Vargas was waving him to the car. Gendo quickened his pace and slid into the backseat. Vargas sat in the passenger's seat and the car pulled out into traffic.

"How'd it go sir?" The damn smile again.

"Couldn't have been better, thank you." Gendo responded curtly and turned his attention to the world outside.

"Very good sir."

The traffic was slow moving, but Gendo didn't trouble himself with that. His thoughts drifted like the snow outside.

It was snowing at the airport as Gendo pulled his family's luggage from the cab. The snow was torrential. Yui held Shinji close to her and flagged down a sky cap to help with the bags and the check in. Gendo tipped the sky cap and joined his wife and son at the check in counter.

"It's too bad that Professor Fuyutsuki called with that business. It really would've been nice to stay with the Sohryuu's. You and Kyoko's husband would've had fun talking about futbol. He's a big fan." Yui began offhandedly. "And I'm sure our little man would've liked a new friend." She ruffled Shinji's hair.

Gendo smiled and looked at her face. She looked back at him and smiled too. She never minded him staring. She took it in stride, as she did with everything else. He placed an arm around her and kissed her softly.

"Stop that. You know how I don't like that in public." She laughed but made no attempt to pull away.

The airport exit passed by.

"You missed the exit." Gendo said, though he already knew.

"We're not going to the airport, Commander." Vargas said pleasantly and again looked over his shoulder, that smile on his face.

"I see. Do I get one last request?"

"I don't see why not."

"I would like to make a phone call."

"Depends on whom."

"Fuyutsuki."

"In that case, certainly." Vargas handed Gendo his cell phone. "That's a company phone, don't worry about the minutes."

"How generous." Gendo said and dialed.

He listened through several rings.

"Hello?"

"Hello Fuyutsuki."

"I did what I needed to do." Was the quick reply.

"I know."

"No hard feelings?"

"None at all. Could you tell Shinji…I'm sorry?"

"I think he knows."

Mr. X, Commander Gendo Ikari Terminated.

First Angel, Adam Secured, To Be Destroyed.

----------

Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki had barely placed the phone back on the receiver before it rang again.

"Hello?"

"SEELE-1 terminated."

"Very good."

"I'll see you back at base then?"

"No you won't Robert."

"Kozo…thank you."

Fuyutsuki heard a beep on the line. Incoming call. He switched lines.

"Objectives A and B completed successfully sir."

"Casualties?"

"None."

"Very good Aoba." Fuyutsuki hung up. That was everything. Well, almost everything.

Fuyutsuki looked down the forms for Ritsuko and Misato. He sighed. That was it. All original connections severed. Adam, secured and to be destroyed. Lillith, locked down. Mass Production Evas, destroyed. Eva-00, Eva-01, Eva-02, all to be locked down and dismantled. The Lead Council of SEELE, terminated. Dr. Katsuragi, deceased. Dr. Naoko Akagi, deceased. Dr. Kyoko Sohryuu, deceased. Dr. Yui Ikari, deceased. Commander Gendo Ikari, deceased. Sub-Commander Kozo Fuyutsuki…

Fuyutsuki signed the papers. He reached into the desk drawer and pulled out a gun. Standard issue. He never once used it. He checked the magazine and loaded it. He racked the slide. He turned the safety off.

One last connection to sever. It was time to pay his pound of flesh.

He placed the barrel beneath his eye and at an angle, so the bullet would tear through his brain and out the back of his skull. He pulled the trigger. The bang resounded throughout the empty room and reverberated. The gun fell to the floor with a clatter and the desk chair rolled back several feet. Blood dripped from his head and onto the floor.

Sub-Commander Kozo Fuyutsuki Terminated.

Operation Successful.

----------

Rei cleaned up her breakfast dished. When she was done, she placed them on the drying rack and took off her apron. She rummaged around one of the kitchen drawers and took out a pen. She walked over to the wall calendar that Shinji had bought her and crossed out December 24th. And then she circled December 25th. She smiled.

There was a slight rapping on the door. She put the pen away and made her way to the front door. When she opened it, she found Shinji smiling at her. He looked happy, healthy. His skin was full of color, his dark blue eyes were radiant, the bags under his eyes were gone. He held a small package in one hand.

"It got here in time!" He exclaimed before leaning forward pecking her lightly on the cheek. "Merry Christmas Rei."

"Merry Christmas." She stepped aside so that he could enter.

"I like the lights you have set up around your room." Shinji pointed to the glittering lights around walls, flashing, dancing.

"Thank you. I put them up last night. It seemed fit for the occasion." Rei walked into the kitchen. "Tea?"

"Oh, no thank you. Not today. I have a lot to do." Shinji seemed beside himself with excitement. "I'm going down to visit Toji, then I'm going to pick up Asuka from the hospital and take her home. Then I have to prepare for the party tonight. You're coming right?"

"Of course." Rei said and smiled. "Is that Sohryuu's gift? The one you sent for?"

"Oh, no. It did come in though, it's at home. This is for you. Merry Christmas." Shinji handed her the plain package.

Rei took some time to savor the gift. She meticulously pried it open at the edges of the wrapping. Once the wrapping was peeled off, she let a full smile spread across her face. A CD/Tape/Radio set.

"I have some tapes and CDs back at the apartment for you. I would've brought them over but it's quite a bit to carry and Misato had already left for work."

"You shouldn't have." She said softly.

"But I did." Shinji patted her hand. "I have to get going now. But I'll see you later on tonight. Do you need Misato to give you a ride?"

"No, I can walk. I rather like this weather."

"Yeah, so do I. Bye Rei. Merry Christmas!" Shinji called from the doorway.

"Merry Christmas." She replied and the door closed.

Rei opened the box and pulled out the radio. It was simple. She unplugged her alarm clock and replaced it with the radio. She took some time to read the instructions and then she set the time and the alarm. The switched to the radio and began to turn the tuner, slowly, listening to everything. Then she found it. Neil Diamond. "You Make It Feel Like Christmas" drifted through her apartment. She slowly stood up and then walked to the center of her room. She closed her eyes and pretended to place one hand on a shoulder, and one on a hip. Letting the music flow, she began to dance. Outside, the snow fell softly.

"You make it feel like Christmas. Even when things go wrong. I hear the sound of Christmas, in your song…"

----------

"Merry Christmas Toji." Hikari smiled and handed Toji his gift.

Toji ripped it open savagely, letting the wrapping fall to the floor.

"Aw, no way! My favorite movie! Ichi the Killer! Now I have something to watch, yeah!" Toji exclaimed brightly.

"That's from both of us, by the way." Kensuke added sheepishly. "I'm…uh…kinda broke."

"No problem man. That's super sweet."

"Thank you so much Hikari. I shouldn't have. And you too Kensuke." Aiko said from her hospital bed, caressing the cover of a new leather bound diary.

Hikari sighed softly, and kept her smile on as she saw Aiko gaze out the window at the snow outside. Her doctors still wouldn't let her go outside. She gave a start as she heard the hospital door open and close. She turned and let out a slight gasp as she saw Shinji standing there smiling, beside a doctor.

"Good morning everyone." The doctor began.

"Shinji!" Toji exclaimed.

"What's up." Shinji waved.

"I see you're already acquainted." The doctor smirked. "In that case, Shinji and I have been talking. Like the rest of you, he's been trying to convince me for a while to let you two out of the room to get some fresh air. Of course I denied it, but then this little bugger went behind my back and called in the big guns. Didn't realize you had so many friends in high places." The last part he directed at Shinji, who only shrugged. "A Doctor Ritsuko Akagi went over your files with me…and she convinced me that it would be beneficial to let you outside. So if you're ready, we can try and situate both of you in some wheel chairs and let you have SOME time outside. It will be cold though."

"I don't mind." Aiko said quickly, a radiant smile on her face.

"All right then, I'll get the nurses. I'll return shortly." The doctor left the room and it was plunged into silence.

Hikari felt the tension in the room. Toji wasn't smiling, and neither was Kensuke. Shinji had a small smile on his face, but it seemed uncertain. She watched Shinji as he took several hesitant steps forward. When he reached Toji's bedside he stood there, the two seemingly trying to stare each other down.

"Hey man…I'm sorry…" Shinji began nervously, but he was cut off as Toji reached up and yanked him down into a bear hug.

"Forget about it." Toji slapped Shinji on the back and let him go. "Forget about it man."

Hikari was at a loss of words.

"Hey, I don't think you ever met my sister." Toji began with a huge smile. "Shinji, this is my sister Aiko. Aiko, this is the Great Eva Pilot, Savior of the World, Shinji Ikari."

"I'm not that great." Shinji said bashfully.

"Nice to FINALLY meet you Mr. Ikari." Aiko said and glared at Toji.

"Please, call me Shinji."

"All right Shinji. Let's be friends." Aiko beamed.

"I'd like that."

"Good to have you back, Shin man." Kensuke clapped him on the back and Shinji rubbed the back of his head, laughing.

----------

Misato straightened her red jacket, smoothed out her black uniform and checked her red beret in the bar window. People bustled around her on the street, the sound of snow crunching creating a dull roar. She took a deep breath and walked into the bar.

"Hey! Look! It's the new Commander!" Shigeru called out boisterously from the back booth.

"Looking good." Makoto said as she approached.

"Easy tiger." Ritsuko playfully chided him, earning a blush from the techie.

"Yeah, yeah." Misato took a seat and removed her beret. "I don't suppose Fuyutsuki could've asked me if I wanted the promotion before signing those papers."

"Then you would've had a chance to say no." Ritsuko smiled that smug smile of hers, Maya giggling in the seat beside her.

"Somehow I doubt I would've had a choice at all." Misato flagged down a waiter. "Coke please."

"What? No beer?" Shigeru asked in mock terror.

"I'm trying to cut down. Besides, plenty of beer to drink tonight." Misato raised her hands defensively.

"At least you have a job." Ritsuko continued.

"Hey, you have a year's worth of paid vacation, so not a peep out of you." Misato pointed a finger accusingly at her.

"Yeah, I might have a job lined up anyway." Ritsuko took a sip from her glass.

"No shit? Doing what?"

"Research and development. MiBra Engineering. Stands for Miyazaki-Braungardt. A Japanese-German Combine."

"Sounds good."

"I don't think I'll take it though. The entire company is a front for war mongering. They engineer better weapons and defense systems. I think I've done enough damage in my lifetime." Ritsuko rolled her eyes.

"You know, the Sub-Commander position at NERV is still open if you want a rehire." Misato offered and thanked the waiter for her drink.

"Hah. Right."

"I'm not joking! So far all I got is Asai and he's always so formal and subservient." Misato pulled a face.

"Sounds just right for you." Maya jabbed.

"Nah, the subservient ones aren't my type."

"Uh-oh, you're in trouble, Makoto." Shigeru elbowed his co-worker and gave him a nudge-nudge wink-wink.

"Shut up man." Makoto blushed a deeper shade of red.

"Any darker you could pass as Shinji's brother." Misato joked and laughed.

"If I do take that position, as Sub-Commander, it won't be for a while. I have a year long vacation ahead of me." Ritsuko smiled and took another sip from her glass.

"It's a shame, what happened to the Sub-Commander though." Maya said softly.

"Yeah." Misato said softly, silently cursing Maya for the conversation killer.

"To Fuyutsuki." Shigeru raised his glass.

"To Fuyutsuki." The group repeated.

"May he be with us tonight as we all get shit faced." Misato smiled and the group laughed. "Well, you guys at least." There was a collective boo as napkins were thrown in her general direction.

----------

"Welcome home." Shinji said and guided Asuka into the apartment.

She hadn't said anything to him since he had picked her up from the hospital. He was beginning to have doubts about his plan, but quickly dispelled all thoughts concerning that. If it worked, it worked. If it didn't…well…he would never stop trying. Not ever.

He took Asuka's elbow and guided her into the living room. She didn't curse at him, yell at him, or even look at him. The doctors had told him that they hadn't given her the medication for the day yet, and that he should make sure that she took it as soon as she got home.

"Nice tree huh?" He asked.

The tree was fully decorated, with the help of Misato. Silver tinsel hung perfectly from each branch, multi colored lights blinked on and off like pixies. Ornaments of angels, sleds, and puppies were interspersed with the usual multi-colored glass and plastic globes. And a single start perched on top.

He saw Asuka look up briefly, and saw in her eyes a little flare of emotion, but it quickly died out.

"I'm going to bed." She said softly.

"Hold on, not yet. Have a seat." He sat her on the couch. "There's gonna be a party tonight."

"Wonderful." She said and rolled her eyes.

Shinji smiled at that.

"You should really come out."

"Yeah, right, I'll think about it. I'm going to bed." She began to stand up but Shinji pulled her back down. "What the hell is with you, Third? Do you want to lose an eye today?"

"Stay right here. I'll be back." Shinji stood up and left the room. He grabbed the package from his bedroom and brought it out. Without saying anything, he held it out for her. "For you."

"Oh really, you shouldn't have." Her voice dripped with sarcasm, but he let it roll off his back and instead took the seat next to her.

The package was small, but heavy. To Asuka, it felt like a heavy book. The wrapping was red and had pictures of Christmas Trees, tinsel and presents. The ribbon on top was gold, and attached to it was a tag. Asuka slowly ran her hands across the paper, feeling the familiarity of it. Then she opened the tag. On the inside it read 'To Asuka, Love Shinji.'

Asuka slowly opened the present. She started with the ribbon and removed it carefully. Then she moved on to the wrapping paper, starting at the edges as Rei had done. Once it was removed, she saw it wasn't a book. It was a photo album. It was leather bound and embossed with gold lettering that read 'The Sohryuu Family Memories.' Her breathing quickened and she flipped open the cover.

"Where…?" She trailed off without looking up at Shinji.

"I sent a letter to your father." Shinji explained, but then found himself at a loss for words.

Asuka thumbed through the pictures. Pictures of her and her father. Her and her…mother. She looked so happy. Her mother was actually smiling. Smiling. The Christmas photos…everything.

"He was almost too happy to send it." Shinji continued lamely. He could only look at her. Study her face, her features. Surprise, definitely. But what else. Her mouth hung open, her blue eyes shimmered. Her flowing red hair. Then it came together in his mind.

"I don't know what happened between you and your mother." He began softly. "But I've gone through some tough times too. I nearly killed myself. If you still want to say that I don't know what its like, feel free to say so. But if there's one thing I learned, it's that you have to choose your memories."

Asuka turned slowly and looked at him, as if he were from another planet.

"Angels have no memories Asuka. Forgetting is the first step to forgiving. If you truly hated your mother for what she did, then why do you dwell on it?" Shinji looked back at her without flinching. "I think you still love her, but you can't understand why she did what she did. Maybe you'll never understand. Maybe you'll never forgive her. But if all you hold on to is bad memories, then all you'll ever have is pain. Either forget about her entirely, or…" Shinji tapped the pictures in the book. "Remember these. She loved you Asuka. I can tell just by the pictures I see now."

Asuka turned back to the pictures.

Shinji continued to watch her. And then he heard a soft 'pat.' And then another. And another. Tears fell in torrents. Shinji put his arm around her shoulders and she slowly turned into him. He felt her arms slowly encircle him and he felt her bury her face in his shoulder. Her hold was light at first, but then it became increasingly tighter. He felt her tears warm his shoulder and he smiled, feeling tears of his own begin to form.

"Merry Christmas Asuka."

Fin

**Writer's Notes: Well, here it is. Number 4. Two years later. All reviews, comments and criticisms are welcome and appreciated. If you think that it's wonderful, great. If you think that I should have my hands eaten by Kevin, so be it. Special thanks goes to KingAlar and DorianGray for pre-reading. Oh, and visit Evafics dot org. It makes you cool.**


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